Girl in the Fountain: Found

A few years ago I wrote about losing the girl in the fountain, the part of me that was carefree and spontaneous.   I’d lost that part of myself due to adult responsibilities, never seeming to have enough money, and a judgmental husband who was always afraid of how things would look.

The last few years have been a period of tremendous growth, but that growth has meant I’ve spent a whole lot of time in the darkness, although there have been joyous moments of poking my head into the light.   I’ve been that tiny plant snugged into the earth not quite ready to peep her beautiful head up toward the sun.  My choices were to stay snugged up in the deep dark earth living or risk breaking through the dark earth and growing toward the sun.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve found myself gravitating more and more toward the light both in terms of sunlight and the lighter side of my personality.    I’ve been singing along with the radio more, craving the sunlight, and letting out the silly and goofy me who doesn’t truly care what people think.  I’ve found it incredibly freeing to fire the censor and just be myself.  I don’t really care if people think I’m weird for grooving to the music at the grocery store or dancing in the car.  Sometimes my kids get embarrassed, but I’m learning that what other people think is really about them and not about me, unless I’ve done something hurtful to them.  If people don’t think I’m pretty, that’s about them.  If people think I’m too crazy, that’s on them.  I’m tired of living my life according to other people’s expectations.

Last night, the girl in the fountain was truly found as I let myself just be me.  We drove down to Columbus for the evening as the kids were going to Monday night wrestling at Nationwide arena and I had absolutely no desire to go, but I didn’t want them driving home late at night.  After parking, I decided to just walk around Columbus so that I could get my steps in.  It was a beautiful night, but Columbus was eerily quiet.  I walked by the river and enjoyed the peacefulness, I found public porch swings by the Supreme Court  and sat and swung, and I found fountains.

After the incredibly effect of the negative ions last week at Niagara Falls, I was jonesing for some negative ions to clear my energy and Columbus didn’t disappoint.  As I was walking down third street, I heard the calming sounds of bubbling water and following my ears, I found a beautiful manmade fountain / waterfall winding through Nationwide Plaza.  As Columbus was dead, I had the plaza to myself and I quickly found a place where I could slip in and wade.  The cold water on my feet felt amazing and I felt so liberated and free even though the adult in me was a little more cautious than the 20 something girl as I held the guardrail.  I played around for about 10 minutes, then dried off and headed off for more adventures.

And I found them in the next fountain that was less than a block down the street.  It was a beautiful fountain with a  large pond in front of it and I sat right in front of the fountain and let those amazing negative ions wash over me while I kicked and splashed in the water.  I felt rejuvenated and young again and I’m going to remember to let the girl in the fountain out to play a little more often.