Growing up I felt like I never fit in: I was never cool enough, I was never pretty enough, I never had enough money. I always felt like a second class citizen as if all the other kids were prettier, smarter, and richer than I was. My brains also created a rift between me and the neighborhood kids as I always quickly grasped concepts that other kids struggled with. All these factors, combined with my lack of self acceptance, led me to be bullied and picked on by the other kids.
The lack of self acceptance carried through to college where I wanted nothing more than to be one of the cool kids. I wanted to be liked for my looks and my bubbly personality, not my brains. I went to parties on campus, but I’d grown up fairly sheltered so most of the jokes really did go right over my head.
Marriage came quickly and motherhood soon there after. I still never felt like I quite fit in as if everyone had more money than I did, better social skills, and was just better in every way. I never took the time to sit down and analyze the facts, I just made assumptions that always cast me in a bad light. As when I’d been a child, I downplayed my strengths, but was always willing to shed a spotlight on my deficiencies.
It’s only been in the last five years or so that I’ve started to feel comfortable in my own skin and with my own life. John and I aren’t millionaires, but we have a nice house in a safe neighborhood and we make as much or more as our peers. I’m not a beauty queen, but I’m working hard to lose weight and improve my appearance and that has to count for something. I’m smart and clever and I try to be a nice person and to help others when I can.And those brains that I tried so hard to hide when I was younger are coming in very heavy in this dog eat dog job market where my brains and ability to think on my feet and communicate with all levels of management are earning me jobs I never thought possible. I’m also learning, the hard way, that everyone has their foibles and quirks and that there really no perfect people out there.
Accepting yourself for your faults and straights is incredible hard and there are days when I’m still not sure I like who I am, but I just keep getting up every morning and looking for all the characteristics that make me uniquely perfect.
Cairn by Cairn 
I enjoyed your blog and this post about self acceptance. It's funny how we forget the truth that we are perfect just the way we are. I'm sharing tools I've learned on my blog and I'd love your feedback on my most recent post called “Self Acceptance.” Namaste, SherryDaily Spiritual Tools
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