Tag: Water

Siren of Water

Siren of Water
Dark Goddess Tarot

First Impressions:  These are actually second impressions, since I’ve pulled the Siren of Water recently 😍.  One of the things that is striking me as I look at this card a little deeper, is that Aphrodite looks very shapeless.  We tend to think of her as being a blond bombshell, but her toga completely obscures her curves.  For me, this card is about learning about emotions.

Book:  Love is a risk you must take, all that enchants the spirit and arouses the body and in doing so she opens her heart.

Guidance:  Look at yourself through the eyes of love and change what is possible.  Admit your desire.  Do or make something you love.

Journaling:

Aphrodite is not a goddess that I’ve ever been comfortable with as she seems so perfect and out of reach.  She’s the cheerleader who gets all the boys while I’m the chunky nerd no one looks twice at.

Message from Aphrodite

I am not your rival.  I am you.  Embrace my gifts of beauty and sensuality.  Let go of the fear in your heart about not being pretty enough or sexy enough.  These are old messages.  You are beautiful, kind, loving, and have a beautiful heart.  I am not your rival, I can be your coach and friend if you can open up your heart and trust.

December 28, 2018

Wow!  As I read back over this, I have chills as this is an amazingly powerful message.  I know there are pretty girls that are mean girls, but maybe there are pretty girls who are pretty inside and out.  I always put up my defenses around pretty girls, but maybe I shouldn’t.

One of the hardest lessons I’m learning right now is that beauty truly does come from the inside out.  I know that I struggle with that as looking in the mirror and not seeing a perfect size 6 makes me feel bad about myself.  It has been a struggle to start to look for the good in myself and to find my inner Aphrodite.  I do know that cutting off people who do not support me and encourage me has helped me tremendously.  I spent my entire childhood believing that the right way to show love was to discourage people and constantly give them unwanted advice.  It was about “correcting” people by telling them they smelled like an old fisherman while in the market, even though there wasn’t anything I could do about it at the time.  It was about being passive aggressive and talking about me to others instead of being direct.  It was about “bringing me down a peg.”

In reality, none of those things are love.  Those are simply acts of cruelty.  It doesn’t matter if it was my mother who did them, they were acts of cruelty and abuse.  True love builds people up and doesn’t tear them down.  The only good thing out of that entire experience, is that I’ve learned what love is and by not following the bitch’s crappy example, I can show my kids true love by encouraging them and supporting them.

Witch of Water

Witch of Water
Dark Goddess Tarot

First Impressions:  I’m filled with deep despair as I look at this card.  She appears so alone and so lonely.

Book:  Every situation ends in the sea, there to use anew, salt water, purification

Guidance:  Demonstrate your ethics and beliefs on a regular basis, look beyond form to essence, purify

Journaling:

As I reflect on this card, the image I get is of a water witch creating a water sprite.  I’m reminded of the amazing power water has to both create and destroy.  Water is one of the most compelling things because of its changing nature.  However, as I reflect on this, I realize that wind and fire have the same qualities as they can be soft or hellacious.  It seems that only earth is solid all the time.

December 18, 2017

I feel the power of water moving through me lately.  It is fluid and dynamic and helps to clear away that which no longer serves me.

December 27, 2017

There have been times lately where I have truly felt stuck by what is going around in my life.  I’ve felt trapped and as if things will never change.  However, right now I feel as if amazing things are right around the corner and my job is to be fluid and dynamic and be open to change.  I’m not always very open to change, but right now I feel like it will all bring good things.

Siren of Water

Siren of Water
Dark Goddess

First Impressions:  This card is beautiful and reminds me of a Botticelli painting.  Aphrodite is gorgeous and the epitome of sex appeal, but she is always painted alone.  She is the Goddess of Love, but she is never a goddess that I would call upon for love as she strikes me as not about love as much as about worship. 

Book:  Engenders desire for love, connections and communion, Passion overcoming the haughty, opening the heart.

Guidance:  Love is a risk you must take, create or do something you love, admit your desire

Journaling:

This card is yet another reminder to open my heart to love.  One of the things I’ve been pondering lately is who I want to be with.  Is it someone I already know who knows and loves the “old” me?  Or is it someone new who will just be getting to know me?  There is a part of me that feels I have to move on and that I’m ready for the next phase of my life. 

Someone I care about did something that I feel disrespected me and I’m not sure how to react.    I know that I need respect in my life and if people can’t respect me, then they don’t need/deserve to be in my life.  For me this card is about loving and respecting myself.

December 18, 2017

It was pretty cool when I was putting up the tree and found my Bremen ornament and instead of immediately thinking about who I was with in Germany, I thought about my own memories of being in Bremen around the holidays.  This was huge progress for me.  I know there will always be a part of me that loves him, but I’m done waiting and I’m ready to move on with my life.

December 26, 2017

I’ve gotten a lot better about putting myself first and loving myself.  Maybe the message of Aphrodite is that all things are about love and pleasure and that loving ourselves can help create an atmosphere where there is more love and light in the world overall.

Witch of Water

Witch of Water
Dark Goddess Tarot

First Impressions:  Emotional Control

Book:  Power of the goddess is eating all sins, salt holds purification, and protection

Guidance:  Demonstrate your beliefs and ethics, look beyond form to essence, bathe in salt water

Journaling:

Interesting meaning of this card.  I like looking at it as purification and the need to cleanse ourselves.  I need to do some meditations on this card and also take a salt bath.

December 19, 2017

I’m realizing that purification is about more than clearing the energy around me.  It is also about clearing out the old behaviors and thought patterns that are keeping me stuck.  I need to let go of my poverty consciousness and choose to believe that it will all work out.

December 26, 2017

It is so awesome to read through old journals as I can see my growth.  I can see ideas that bubble up that are being implemented at deeper and deeper levels.  Redirecting my thoughts is something that still feels uncomfortable for me as it feels unnatural, but as I read through my old journals I can see that I am continuing to get better at it.

I know I’m making progress because when I got an invite to a reorganization meeting from Darshan, my immediate reaction was to freak out and assume I was being fired.  However, I talked myself off the ledge by reminding myself that they would not fire me on an open meeting.  If I was going to get fired, I would have already been told.  That was cold comfort, but it did bring me peace and I was able to actually sleep without totally freaking myself out with worry.  I also reminded myself that there was nothing I could do about it anyway.  If it happened, it happened and I’d deal with it.

Two of Water (Reversed)

Two of Cups
Gaian Tarot

First Impressions:  This is a card of unconditional love.  I love how she is hugging her dog, you can totally feel the love coming off of both of them.  As this card is reversed, it is talking to me of love withheld.

Journaling:

Again I’m getting a card about ending relationships and about co-dependency.  I know it is time to let go of a X and move on. He’s pulled away and it is time for me to let go and accept that it isn’t going to happen.  The sad thing is that I really miss his friendship.  I miss having someone in my life who knows me that well.

Even if there may be a time in the future when we are meant to be together, that time is not now.  Now is the time to open my heart to love and ask the universe for guidance as to what I want in a relationship.  It is time open my heart and manifest the relationship that is right for me.

It is also the time to let go of my anger at my mother.  She is who she is and I cannot change her.  I don’t want to say she is incapable of learning and /or growing, but at the end of the day it is not my problem.  I have to accept her as she is and choose what our relationship looks like.  I tried to let her into my life on a limited basis and she chose to break that trust.  Maybe I need to look at this from a different perspective:  I chose to cut her out of my life because it was the best choice for me, just like John chose to walk away because it was the best choice for him.

December 29, 2017

The end of my marriage still bothers me a lot and the farther away I get and the more able I am to put things into perspective, I realize that it doesn’t bother me that it ended, it bothers me the way it ended and that John treated me with such disrespect.  He told the kids before me, he didn’t help move out or settle the house, he expected me to just live there by myself.  However, as I told Cam about something else today, when people treat you like crap that is all about them!  It shows that he is a totally crappy person with no manners and he is not someone I need in my life.

The very best lesson I learned from my marriage is that I deserve respect and that if someone does not treat me with respect, they are not in my life for long.