Tag: Two

Two of Pentacles

Two of Pentacles
Hanson-Roberts

First Impressions:  The pentacles are in an infinity symbol like on most decks.  There are boats in the background.  The boy has his eyes closed.  Overall, this two of pentacles appears less stressed/manic than the two of pentacles in other decks.  This deck makes me think about juggling or managing multiple projects and/or priorities.

Book:  Balance, trust, playfulness, need to seek balance, calm yourself, keep a sense of humor, you may have two many balls in the air.

Guidance:  Conciously seek balance, find ways to balance work and personal, keep your sense of humor and don’t lose site of the fact that most things in life are not that serious.

Journaling:

Interesting card to pull and to meditate on.  The message that I’m getting is that sometimes I’m juggling and keeping things alive that I should just let go of.  There are things that are just not worthy of my time and/or attention.  One of those things right now is being pissed at Meg about Gateway.  I’ve said my piece, now I just need to let it go and see what happens.  There is nothing that I can do to change the situation today so I just need to focus on what I can control and let go of the rest. Sometimes there are balls that it is okay to drop.

December 23, 2017

I’ve gotten much better at dropping balls that no longer have meaning for me and that aren’t worth my time and energy.  Worry is one ball that I’ve been working hard to let go of.  There are so many things in life that I cannot control and spending time worrying about them just doesn’t help matters.

My quest for the love of a particular someone is also something I need to drop.  I need to quit obsessing and just see what happens.  I’ve spent way too much time and energy focusing on him and I need to let go.  That’s a big part of the reason that I’ve been working to let go of Chicago.  Going back there keeps me entangled and that’s not healthy for me.  What will be will be and I need to let it go.

I also need to let go of John.  I really do hate him for what he’s done to me and how he hurt me, but carrying that crap around is not healthy for me.  He will get what is coming to him and what his Karma is.  I just need to let go

Two of Water (Reversed)

Two of Cups
Gaian Tarot

First Impressions:  This is a card of unconditional love.  I love how she is hugging her dog, you can totally feel the love coming off of both of them.  As this card is reversed, it is talking to me of love withheld.

Journaling:

Again I’m getting a card about ending relationships and about co-dependency.  I know it is time to let go of a X and move on. He’s pulled away and it is time for me to let go and accept that it isn’t going to happen.  The sad thing is that I really miss his friendship.  I miss having someone in my life who knows me that well.

Even if there may be a time in the future when we are meant to be together, that time is not now.  Now is the time to open my heart to love and ask the universe for guidance as to what I want in a relationship.  It is time open my heart and manifest the relationship that is right for me.

It is also the time to let go of my anger at my mother.  She is who she is and I cannot change her.  I don’t want to say she is incapable of learning and /or growing, but at the end of the day it is not my problem.  I have to accept her as she is and choose what our relationship looks like.  I tried to let her into my life on a limited basis and she chose to break that trust.  Maybe I need to look at this from a different perspective:  I chose to cut her out of my life because it was the best choice for me, just like John chose to walk away because it was the best choice for him.

December 29, 2017

The end of my marriage still bothers me a lot and the farther away I get and the more able I am to put things into perspective, I realize that it doesn’t bother me that it ended, it bothers me the way it ended and that John treated me with such disrespect.  He told the kids before me, he didn’t help move out or settle the house, he expected me to just live there by myself.  However, as I told Cam about something else today, when people treat you like crap that is all about them!  It shows that he is a totally crappy person with no manners and he is not someone I need in my life.

The very best lesson I learned from my marriage is that I deserve respect and that if someone does not treat me with respect, they are not in my life for long.