Tarot of the Sidhe – Page 3

Shadow Work–Day 5

What parts of my ancestral shadow are found in my own shadow

The first card I pulled was the Sun and I’m not sure how to interpret this card for this position. I think the best I could come up with is the hive mentality. The fairy queen is pulling me in to follow the hive up the mountain and that truly fits my ancestral background as they had no tolerance for people who were different or who went their own way. If you chose to be different, you were mocked or “put in your place.” This card should be about success and joy, but the way it is drawn the success and joy feels almost ominous. I almost get a feeling of the borg out of this card as it is about assimilating people.

Dreamer eight is about being trapped in a web and it follows along with my interpretation of the sun
card. This is about being pulled in and not knowing what is reality and not knowing what is smoke and mirrors. This reflects both my family and my relationship with John as I was constantly told things that were not true. I was told that I was unattractive, that women could not lead, that I was nothing. It gets to the point that you don’t know what is the truth anymore and it is all too easy to lose yourself in the lies and keep yourself trapped because you don’t know what reality is.

The Wheel of Fortune is an interesting card as it is all about fate and about believing in fate and not free will. The one thing that strikes me about this card is that the fairy is offering food and it seems that is almost an attempt to draw me in and to pull me into the games. This card is also about gambling and that is something that makes sense based on my mother’s history with lottery tickets.

Shadow Work–Day 2: How do my relationships mirror my shadow side?

How do my relationships mirror my shadow side?

The hanged man can tell us a lot of things as sometimes he tells us we need to get another perspective, but in this instance the Hanged Man is telling me that my relationships are about self sacrifice. I sacrificed myself for my ex-husband. I made myself less and less so that he could feel better about himself until I almost disappeared. I sacrifice for my children so that they have what they need and I sacrifice at work. The lesson I’ve been learning about sacrifice is that it is important that we know we have a choice in saying yes or no to sacrifice. I was raised to believe that my needs were secondary to everyone else’s so I never thought that I had a choice in saying yes or no to sacrifice. I’ve learned over the last eight years that I do have a choice and sacrifices that are willingly made are much sweeter than those that are demanded.

The Warrior tells me that I am fierce and protected in all of my relationships. I never feel comfortable letting my guard down and just being. I always have to be on the defensive and always protecting my tender heart. Additionally, I love to drive and be in control. These characteristics make it very hard for people to get to know me. The cards have been telling me for a very long time that it is time to let down my guard and to let people in and it is something that is very hard for me to do.

The fool is double edged as I leaped into my marriage without careful consideration and ended up in an untenable situation. Since then, I have drawn up strict lists of criteria for a future mate that almost no one has a hope of meeting and I’m applying those criteria like a USDA judge grading meat. If someone scores too low on one criteria, I’m not even willing to “waste my time” meeting them. The fool is telling me that I cannot just leap in with nary a care in the world, but I also cannot be too closed minded about the people I let into my life.

Overall this was a scarily accurate reading and truly reflected where I am in life. I need to continue to reflect on this.

Shadow Work–Day 1

This work is part of the Shadow Work series from the International Tarot Foundation’s Shadow Work Series.

What parts of my shadow manifest in my relationships?

Dreamer Ten tells me that I bring my depression and spilling my guts. When I’m in a relationship I have a tendency to emotionally bleed all over the other person and spill my guts. That’s really true for me and it is something I’ve been working on as I’ve learned that being open and honest with another person doesn’t mean holding them hostage and doesn’t give me the right to spill everything and bring them down. It is okay to gain support from others, but i can’t drown them in my emotional ick.

Dancer Three tells me that I bring a sense of joy and happiness to relationships. It isn’t all drowning
in my emotional soup, I also bring a sense of friendship. This card tells me more than anything that I do want my significant other to be a friend as well as a lover. Although on the surface, this sounds very positive, there is some emotional baggage here as when I was married I believed wholeheartedly that my spouse should be my best friend, but my ex didn’t feel that way and it hurt. To a certain extent, that leaves me afraid to open my heart up and be vulnerable.

Maker Queen tells me I have the ability to heal my shadow side. I need to trust in my nurturing instinct and my ability to heal myself as well as others.

Overall, these were incredibly accurate and powerful cards.