Six of pentacles – Cairn by Cairn

Deliberate Draw: Six of Pentacles

First Impressions: Balancing, resources, unequal

Book: Sharing resources, remembering how others have helped you, the human heart holds a profound capacity for generosity

Guidance: If you are in need, expect help in some form, share some of your abundance

Journaling

I love the reading on this card. The six of pentacles is a card that I historically have a difficult relationship with as the first six of pentacles card I ever worked with was the DruidCraft, but this card really makes it about sharing the wealth and paying it forward. It is a reminder that none of us exists in a vacuum and that we all need someone else’s help. I think a part of being open and willing to accept help is the attitude in which help is asked for. I am so much more willing to provide help when it is asked for in an attitude of humility and not entitlement. I get really angry when people act as if my money is there money and they are entitled to it. That’s happened to me a could of times when people would ask for money, then act as if what I gave them was not enough. Or when people said they wanted money for food and I bought them food and that wasn’t enough. I’m much more discriminating in who I give help to these days. I think part of it is perception and people assume that if someone has nice clothes, a computer, etc., then they have all the money in the world, but I don’t and the reason that I do have nice things is that I work for them.

Accepting help is also all about attitude. I don’t ask for or accept help if it feels like charity or if the person giving the help acts as if they are superior to me. I have worked really hard to get to the point where I feel good about myself and I’m not going to put myself in a position of inferiority to someone else. There are things I am lacking that others have and things that others are lacking that I have. One of the lessons I’ve learned about equality is that it doesn’t mean we are all equal in everything. It really just means that it evens out. That’s a hard concept to grasp sometimes because I was brought up thinking equality meant everyone had the same size piece of cake and that is not what it means at all.

The other important part of this card is that sharing isn’t just about money. It is also about sharing the intangible gifts we have with others. It means sharing our knowledge, our support, and just generally helping people get by in this world. The world can be a cold and hard place and a kind world often means the world.

Tarot Blog Hop: Odd Associations

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Welcome to the Imbolc Blog Hop. Our fearless wrangler, Morgan Drake Eckstein, has tasked us to come up with the oddest associations we have for tarot cards. When I first read this topic, I had no clue what I was going to write about, but then I started realizing that some of my associations aren’t quite normal so here goes.

Once upon a time there was a sad and pathetic little pagan who had just been dumped by her husband of 22 years. Desperate for some kind of help and to cheap to hire a therapist, she turned to tarot. As she started playing with–and accumulating–decks, she realized that there were certain cards that she had an absolutely visceral reaction to that didn’t match the explanation in the little white books that came with her cards. Undaunted, she kept exploring and soon came to realize that the meanings in the little white books were mere suggestions and not dogma. Eventually, as she healed and acquired more decks and did more readings, she found that some of her definitions had been “found” by other people, but others were uniquely hers. And more importantly, she realized that was okay.

So with no further ado, here are my odd associations:

Six of Pentacles

The six of pentacles is a card of balance and it is a card about opening your heart to give and to receive. However, the first six of pentacles image that I saw was from the DruidCraft tarot and my gut reaction to this card was that the gentleman was being asked to give everything he had. In hind site, I realize that this reading was a reaction to where I was in my life. I had been raised to believe that women were to sacrifice everything for their loved ones and keep nothing back for themselves. This also perfectly described my marriage where I was expected to give everything and my husband gave nothing. While I still don’t like the image on the DruidCraft Tarot, as I’ve grown and matured and explored a lot more decks, I’ve come to realize that the card truly is about both giving and receiving. It is about receiving gracefully and not giving more than you have to give.

Six of Cups

Another card that gives me a visceral reaction is the six of cups in the RWS deck. While the little white book says this card is about childhood memories, happiness, joy, and new opportunities, this card has always struck me as a little bit creepy. It feels as if the older boy us luring the young girl somewhere with the flowers. Just like with the six of pentacles, there is a clear imbalance of power here and when I first started reading tarot, I would cringe when I pulled this card. However, I’ve started to see the more positive aspects of this card as I’ve started to realize that if the person with the power behaves with respect, the imbalance of power can be a positive experience for both parties.

Four of Cups

While the six of cups is a traditionally positive card that I put a dark spin on, the four of cups is a more negative card that I put a more positive spin on. I have always viewed this card as refusing something that I don’t need or that is not in my best interests. To me, it is all about someone shoving something down my throat and not taking no for an answer. As I’ve dug into my past and started to explore how my worldview got so F*ed up, I’ve realized that this is another perception that goes back to my young adulthood. When I was first starting out and I wanted nice things, my extended family members would buy junk from garage sales and expect me to be grateful and happy with it. My mother expected me to take it no matter what it was even if I was seething inside. If I tried to politely decline, I was labeled as ungrateful. So for me, the four of cups is me crossing my arms while my relatives try to shove garbage into my hands.

Seven of Swords

The seven of swords in most decks is read as someone being sneaking and taking something that does not belong to them. However, over the last few years I’ve read that card as reclaiming instead of stealing. For me it represents, reclaiming my self worth and my dignity. The stealth is taking it back from people with no boundaries and who will do anything to undermine me. Reclaiming my dignity has been hard as I’ve become estranged from my mother who cannot accept that I am a whole person all by myself and who believes that I exist only for a partner or my children. It has also been about reclaiming my dignity from my ex who flat out said he thought I “needed to be taken down a few notches.” In a perfect world, I’d be a knight and storm the castle for my dignity and self esteem, but I’m not quite there yet so I’m satisfied with sneaking in and reclaiming myself. Outside the den of insanity, I can grow my self esteem and one day I will be in a position to storm the castle instead of sneaking in as the Seven of Swords

What I’ve come to realize as I’ve acquired more decks (some would say too many) and deepened my understanding of Tarot, I’ve come across some sources whose meanings for the above cards are similar to mine. I’ve also realized how deeply personal Tarot truly is and that the meanings are depending on the deck, the situation, and the person doing the reading.

For some more Odd Tarot Associates, hop backward to Arwen’s Blog or ahead to Joy’s Blog by using the links below.

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Shadow Work–Day 21

What part of my shadow makes me feel insecure about relationships?

Maker Six (six of pentacles) is a card about generosity and being able to both give and receive. However, the six of pentacles in the Druid Craft tarot, which was the first deck I ever read with, told a tale of an old man being asked to give more than he was able to. I’ve been working to view the six of pentacles in a more positive light, but it is hard to overcome first impressions. For me the Six of Pentacles tells me that I am afraid of getting into relationships where I will be asked to give too much. I spent 22 years with someone who took all I had to give and demanded more and I am really fearful of getting into that type of relationship again

In my role as Maker Queen, I am very open to the energy of those around me for healing and other purposes. What I’ve found is that if I engage with and try to help people who have less than positive energy it drains me and leaves me feeling depleted. The gift of healing is a tremendous asset, but without proper shielding it can also leave me feeling energetically drained.

The Magician always makes me feel insecure about relationships because I am really good at manifesting stuff, but I have not been able to manifest the loving relationship that I want in my life. It makes me wonder if I am being punished for something I did in a past life or if the person who is right for me is not available, or why I haven’t manifested the relationship I dream of.

Inequality in the Sixes

I woke up this week and realized I’ve lived my entire life as a six. Before the self love crowd starts getting on me about denigrating my appearance, let me clear I’m not talking about how I look, I’m talking about tarot cards. As I get more and more familiar with tarot, I’m learning to really pick out patterns and apply them to my own life. It also helps when the cards smack us upside the head with something again and again. For me, pulling the sixes over and over again has helped me realize all the ways I’ve fostered inequality in my life.

Financial Inequality

Druidcraft Six of Pentacles

The six of pentacles is about financial inequality. The first six of pentacles card I saw was the six of pentacles from the Druidcraft deck and I hated the card because to me it was all about people asking more from a poor old man than he had to give. I shuttered every time I pulled that card because it reminded me of all the times I’d been asked to give more than I had. As I studied (and acquired) more and more decks, I realized that most decks showed a more affluent person giving money to others and not a beggar being asked to give up his last dime.

Although the traditional image was less disturbing for me than the Druidcraft deck, it still represented financial inequality as someone with a lot of money was giving to someone with less money. I thought about the very few times in my life I’d been receiving from others and about how difficult it was to ask for a handout and admit I couldn’t make my own way.

Hansen Roberts Six of Pentacles

I also thought about the many more times I had been on the giving side of the equation. Being on the giving side of the equation brings with it its own set of issues. As a parent, we have all of the money and it is our job to give it to our children as needed. However, I know from my personal experience there’s been a lot of times where I’ve fallen back on the “we can’t afford it” line instead of being honest with my kids and saying we could afford it, but I don’t think it is the best way to spend our money. An unfortunate result of the “we can’t afford it” line is that my children have developed poverty consciousness and think we can’t afford anything. I’m working hard to change that by being honest about when we really can’t afford something and when it is not the best use of our money.

Unfortunately, we live in six of pentacles society where money is a measuring stick and people who can bring in more money are rewarded more than others even though a person making less money may be making the bigger contribution to society. Executives are paid more than teachers even though teachers make a far more valuable contribution to society.

I fell into the money as a measuring stick mind set during my marriage as I made significantly more than my now ex-husband and toward the end of our marriage money became a weapon of control. My feelings were since I made the money I got to choose where to spend it. I chose not to look at the other contributions he made and based it solely on who made the most. One of the lessons I learned from my marriage is that money is not the only measuring stick and that I need to look at people more holistically.

Emotional Inequality

RWS Six of Cups

When taken at face value, the six of cups is a charming card with an older child giving a smaller child a cup of flowers. The card seems to be about nostalgia, about having a big brother to take care of you, and about a happy childhood or, as one site says, the card is about simple goodness. And all of those things are true, but there is a darker side to the six of cups.

I did a spread where I asked what I had learned about love from various couples and for one couple the six of cups came up. Looking at the textbook definition of goodness and happiness, I was confused as I’d know that this couple had a miserable marriage where she made the money and he took advantage of her. I had an ah ha moment where I realized that the six of cups could also be about emotional inequality with one person being more invested in the relationship than the other or about one person taking advantage of the other person.

I gained an even deeper understanding of this card when I kept pulling it when asking about my relationship with a certain someone. At first, I viewed it as a happy card, but when I started to compare it to the two of cups which shows two people sharing a cup; I realized that when it came to adult relationships, this card was either about one person being rescued by another or one person taking advantage of another. When I truly reflected upon my relationship with this person, I realized it was both. My friend is a guy who likes to rescue damsels in distress and a lot of our relationship was built on that inequality. On the flip side, I know that he likes to rescue damsels in distress so if I was feeling a little sad or lonely, I’d be the damsel in distress and he’d rush to my rescue.

Those realizations made me really think about the type of relationships I want in my life and even more fundamentally about who I wanted to be in my own life. I realized that I don’t want to be a damsel in distress. I want to be an equal so I want a two of cups relationship and not a six of cups relationship.

Status Inequality

The six of wands and the six of swords represent the two sides of the status inequality coin: the six of wands shows the exalted hero riding in to the cheers of his adoring fans and the six of swords shows the gondolier as servant being ignored by his passengers. As I reflected on these cards, I realized I’m more comfortable in either of these roles than in a role as an equal.

Six of Wands

My roles as consultant, teacher, and leader reflect the six of wands as I love to stand at the front of the room and lecture and give advice. It’s not only the praise and adoration I love, it is the disconnection. I don’t have to engage in real conversation with people and let them in. As I look back over my life, I realize I’m really comfortable in the roles of organizing and teaching because they give a purpose to my interactions. When I’m teaching, I’m talking on a specific topic and even if I don’t have a prepared speech, I know the material well enough that I can speak convincingly. I’m also passionate enough about what I do that my lectures appear to be heartfelt, but they’re really not because it’s difficult for me to truly let people in and engage in a heartfelt conversation. Being above the crowd insulates me from other people’s messy feelings and emotions.

Six of Swords

If being a six of wands lets me be above the fray, slipping into the six of swords persona lets me fly below the radar. As long as I do my job and meet my obligations, I don’t have to engage with people on a personal level. I take their orders and don’t let them in to see the real me. I’ve been working as a consultant for the past six years and that’s the perfect job for an introvert who doesn’t let people in because everyone knows the day I walk in the door that the gig is temporary. I’ll be there for six months or so and then I’ll move on. There is no point to getting close to people because I’ll be gone soon.

A Lonely Way to Live

Living as six is a very lonely way to live because there aren’t true heartfelt connections of equals. Everything is about dominating or being dominated and at the end of the day it is about fear. Fear of not being good enough and fear of letting people in. So my challenge is to dig deep within myself to find the courage to let people in so I can be a two of cups instead of a six.