Tarot Blog Hop: Odd Associations

Welcome to the Imbolc Blog Hop.  Our fearless wrangler, Morgan Drake Eckstein, has tasked us to come up with the oddest associations we have for tarot cards.  When I first read this topic, I had no clue what I was going to write about, but then I started realizing that some of my associations aren’t quite normal so here goes.

Once upon a time there was a sad and pathetic little pagan who had just been dumped by her husband of 22 years.  Desperate for some kind of help and to cheap to hire a therapist, she turned to tarot.  As she started playing with–and accumulating–decks, she realized that there were certain cards that she had an absolutely visceral reaction to that didn’t match the explanation in the little white books that came with her cards.  Undaunted, she kept exploring and soon came to realize that the meanings in the little white books were mere suggestions and not dogma.  Eventually, as she healed and acquired more decks and did more readings, she found that some of her definitions had been “found” by other people, but others were uniquely hers.  And more importantly, she realized that was okay.

So with no further ado, here are my odd associations:

Six of Pentacles

The six of pentacles is a card of balance and it is a card about opening your heart to give and to receive.  However, the first six of pentacles image that I saw was from the DruidCraft tarot and my gut reaction to this card was that the gentleman was being asked to give everything he had.  In hind site, I realize that this reading was a reaction to where I was in my life.  I had been raised to believe that women were to sacrifice everything for their loved ones and keep nothing back for themselves.    This also perfectly described my marriage where I was expected to give everything and my husband gave nothing.  While I still don’t like the image on the DruidCraft Tarot, as I’ve grown and matured and explored a lot more decks, I’ve come to realize that the card truly is about both giving and receiving.  It is about receiving gracefully and not giving more than you have to give.

Six of Cups

Another card that gives me a visceral reaction is the six of cups in the RWS deck.  While the little white book says this card is about childhood memories, happiness, joy, and new opportunities, this card has always struck me as a little bit creepy.  It feels as if the older boy us luring the young girl somewhere with the flowers.  Just like with the six of pentacles, there is a clear imbalance of power here and when I first started reading tarot, I would cringe when I pulled this card.  However, I’ve started to see the more positive aspects of this card as I’ve started to realize that if the person with the power behaves with respect, the imbalance of power can be a positive experience for both parties.

Four of Cups

While the six of cups is a traditionally positive card that I put a dark spin on, the four of cups is a more negative card that I put a more positive spin on.  I have always viewed this card as refusing something that I don’t need or that is not in my best interests.  To me, it is all about someone shoving something down my throat and not taking no for an answer.  As I’ve dug into my past and started to explore how my worldview got so F*ed up, I’ve realized that this is another perception that goes back to my young adulthood.  When I was first starting out and I wanted nice things, my extended family members would buy junk from garage sales and expect me to be grateful and happy with it.  My mother expected me to take it no matter what it was even if I was seething inside.  If I tried to politely decline, I was labeled as ungrateful.  So for me, the four of cups is me crossing my arms while my relatives try to shove garbage into my hands.

Seven of Swords

The seven of swords in most decks is read as someone being sneaking and taking something that does not belong to them.  However,  over the last few years I’ve read that card as reclaiming instead of stealing.  For me it represents, reclaiming  my self worth and my dignity.  The stealth is taking it back from people with no boundaries and who will do anything to undermine me.  Reclaiming my dignity has been hard as I’ve become estranged from my mother who cannot accept that I am a whole person all by myself and who believes that I exist only for a partner or my children.  It has also been about reclaiming my dignity from my ex who flat out said he thought I “needed to be taken down a few notches.”  In a perfect world, I’d be a knight and storm the castle for my dignity and self esteem, but I’m not quite there yet so I’m satisfied with sneaking in and reclaiming myself.  Outside the den of insanity, I can grow my self esteem and one day I will be in a position to storm the castle instead of sneaking in as the Seven of Swords

What I’ve come to realize as I’ve acquired more decks (some would say too many) and deepened my understanding of Tarot, I’ve come across some sources whose meanings for the above cards are similar to mine.  I’ve also realized how deeply personal Tarot truly is and that the meanings are depending on the deck, the situation, and the person doing the reading.

For some more Odd Tarot Associates, hop backward to Arwen’s Blog or ahead to Joy’s Blog by using the links below.

Tarot Blog Hop: Finding Balance




Welcome to the Mabon Blog Hop.  I’m super excited to be participating in this hop because Autumn is my absolute favorite time of year.  Our wranglers,Jenn Waltner and Louise Underhill, have challenged us to post on the theme of balance and how it can be restored. I’ve decided to use a spread I created to ask the elements for guidance on how I can bring more balance into my life. I’ll be using the Tarot de St. Croix for my spread as this deck always makes me think of Fall.

North: Message from the Bones
The seven of swords, as interpreted by Lisa de St. Croix, tells me that I need to clear space in my life for what is important and I need to focus on my goals. These are important messages as I am getting ready to embark on a serious effort to lose weight and I need to really focus on this goal and to make time in my life to exercise and pay attention to what I eat. The more traditional meaning of the swords, stealing or retrieving something, is also valid in this reading as I’m taking back my health. This card also dovetails with an emotional journey that I’ve been taking to heal from ancestral damage. I grew up believing that my weight was a function of genetics and that there was nothing I could do about it. However, when I look back at my mother’s eating habits, I realize that she was trying to lose weight while eating cookies, soda, and other unhealthy foods. In hindsight, the messages about not being able to lose weight because of genetics, do not match up with the eating habits she demonstrated.

East: Message from the Mind
The fool tells me that I need to let go of my need to know my destination and to just trust that I will be taken where I need to go and provided with what I need. This is a very apt reading for me as I am a control freak and it is hard for me to embark on journeys with uncertain outcomes. It’s very interesting that I pulled this card as the message from the mind, because I’m applying for a graduate program in Spirituality, Culture, and Health and the rational part of my brain that I have always relied upon to make decisions is telling me that there is no return on investment in this program and that I will be wasting my money. However, my heart is telling me it is right for me and that it will lead me someplace amazing. This card is an affirmation that I need to just leap and trust that the path will unfold.

South:  Messages from the Spirit 
My initial read of the hermit was that the cards were telling me that I would never have anyone in my life and that I would always be alone. However, as I have taken time to reflect, I’ve realized that that is the interpretation of my all or nothing mindset. The more gentle message from the cards is that I am a person who needs a lot of alone time and that I need to learn to balance my need for solitude with a relationship. I need to make sure to make time for myself no matter what the circumstances. It is a reminder to myself to not get so caught up in someone else that I lose myself. Messages from the Emotions

East:  Messages from the Emotions
The World is telling me to embrace all of my emotions and to not segregate them based on what I believe are good or bad emotions. All of my emotions can help me to grow and to become my best self. The world is also telling me that by opening my heart to embrace my own emotions, I can be connected to the all of my brothers and sisters in spirit around the world. This message is incredibly timely for me as I am someone who shields herself and doesn’t like to open up to the world around me. I need to be like the world and stand naked in the middle of my own world and own it. I need to own who I am and what I feel.

Message from the Source 
The four of wands has many messages for me. The first is that I will find my own personal power by creating a life of ritual. I need to live in sacred space as that is where I find my own sanity and healing. This card, like the World card, is also telling me to be naked and vulnerable as I move through life. I need to be open with other people and to stop hiding who I am. Lastly, Epona is telling me that I am at a crossroads and I have a decision to make as to where I am going moving forward.


Summary
Overall, these were incredibly powerful cards to draw and provided a lot of guidance as to how to move forward with my life over the next few months.

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Daily Draw: Seven of Swords

First Impressions:  Sneakiness, taking back what’s mine

Book:  Unwise action, failing plain,new ideas, challenging old assumptions

Guidance:  Do not take credit for others ideas, do not procrastinate

Journaling:

This card to me is about soul theft.  I’m realizing as I reflect on my soul retrieval that my grandmother, John, and Charlene  all stole pieces of my soul.  My grandmother did it with her careless comment.  She took away a piece of me that needed to matter to other people.  She didn’t believe I was worth loving and she didn’t believe I was worth making a connection to.  I reality, I don’t know if that is true.  Maybe it was just a stupid and thoughtless comment.  She never treated me as if I didn’t matter and I have also received unconditional love from others who did believe I mattered.

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Letter from my grandma

Lora,

I’m so sorry.  I love you and would never want you to think otherwise.  You are amazing, strong, and courageous.  I didn’t want your Mommy and Daddy to feel any pain if something happened to you, but that was wrong as the reality of it is that your Daddy was attached to you the moment he laid eyes o you.  You were going to be amazing.  He struggled to reconcile his feelings about women with his desire for you to succeed. That was hard for him.  He never did like John, but he respected your choices.  You are loved and you do matter.  I am so sorry for hurting you.

Love, Grandma

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Dearest Soul Part held captive by Charlene,

I am so sorry that I didn’t realize that she had you.  I did not connect the anger and resentment I was feeling with her holding you and abusing you.  Everything she told you is lies.  Women are not second class citizens and it is not our job to give everything of ourselves in service to others.  We are allowed to have our own hopes and dreams. 

Charlene is a product of another day and time.  She is an ancestor and she does not speak for the way the world is.  I am so happy you are home and we will take care of you.  Thank you for being strong while she held you captive. 

Raine

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Dearest Soul Part held captive by John,

I am so happy you are home and I am so sorry that I left you behind.  Everything that he told you is a lie.  I am not too big for my britches.  I am sexy, funny, and loving.  However it is hard to be any of those things when you are constantly being put down and abused.  You are safe in our home as bad behavior is not tolerated.  The rules of the house are that everyone is treated with respect and no one is put down.  We discuss disagreements respectfully.

Welcome home!  I am so glad you are here.

Raine,

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Dearest Soul Part that was with X,

I am glad you are back and I’m sorry that I gave you away.  Thank you for the guidance to be myself and live my best life.  I just need to be patient and let life unfold.

Blessings, Raine

December 25, 2018

This soul retrieval was so amazing and I have grown and changed so much since it has happened.  I know that I am healing because I am letting go of the anger toward Charlene.  I know in my heart of hearts that she did not mean to hurt me and that makes it easier to forgive her and let go.  However, I also know that intention isn’t all that mattered.  She did hurt me and she will continue to hurt me if I let her back into my life. 

I also know that I really need to let go of John and cut the cord completely.  There are days when I wish he will fall flat on his face and other days where I hope that he has a happy life and doesn’t drag Sean down with him.  At this point, what I really want is just for him to not be in my life any more.

Seven of Air

Seven of Air
Dark Goddess Tarot

First Impressions:  Ellen does a great job with this card in giving us the sense of the thief as Laverna is turned toward something gesturing while behind her back she holds a bag of money.  I didn’t realize it when I first drew this card, but there are seven columns.  I love this card and even though I didn’t not consciously look at the card, my very first impressions were ones of a thief and dishonesty.

Book:  Succeeding through ill-gotten gains, hiding in the shadows

Guidance: Think outside of the box, think of another way, work for your own best interests, answer may be found in silence.

Journaling:

The message I take from Laverna is to reclaim what is mine.  I spend so much time and energy giving and being for others that I neglect myself.  I need to make a concentrated effort to reclaim myself.  I also have to acknowledge that there are days when it only feels like taking my life back is stealing because other people do not recognize my sovereignty and only see me in relation to what I can do for them.  I need to reclaim myself and life my life for me and not for others.  That’s easier now than when my kids were little, but it still feels awkward to say no and put my own needs first.  It is something I know will continue to be a work in progress.

December 26, 2017

Pulling this card reminds me of the ritual to Laverna that Anna led.  I was okay with all the Dark Goddess rituals she led until I got to this one because it was almost as if she took glee in the idea of worshiping someone who was was the patron of thieves.  However, over the past few years I’ve had a lot of time to meditate and reflect.  I’ve also done the meditation to Laverna from The Dark Goddess Lodge and I’ve come to a different understanding of Laverna and the Seven of Swords in general.

I’ve realized that sometimes it is right and necessary to be a “thief” as sometimes it is about reclaiming your sovereignty and reclaiming what someone stole from you.  John stole so much for me and I’m finally starting to reclaim who I am.  He pounded me down so hard that I lost so much of myself.  I still don’t know why he chose to beat me down physically and emotionally, but I have come back and I’ve reclaimed myself.

I’m also learning that other people consider it selfish or wrong to stand up for myself and take back my time and my resources.  It is not wrong to take back what is yours.  In fact it is good and noble to take yourself back to a time of wholeness.

Daily Draw: Seven of Swords

First Impressions:  Being sneaky

Book:  Actions have consequences

Guidance:  Review your plan and reconsider if it seems fool hardy

Journaling

I’m not sure that I agree that the actions of this gentleman were foolhardy.  Sometimes we have to take bold actions and break the rules.  I think this card is also a reminder that there are consequences, but that sometimes the consequences are worth it.

November 20, 2017
There are consequences, but sometimes the sneaky acts that are seen as deceptive are worth it.  How do we know that he the people he is “stealing” from, did not take something from him first.

October 26, 2018

My understanding of this card has continued to evolve and I still view it as taking back something that was taken from us.  There are times in life when we have to reclaim what is ours and there are times when we cannot make a full frontal attack, but we need to be sneaking and deceptive because the person holding it does not want to give it back to us.