Tag: Five

Five of Earth

Five of Earth
Dark Goddess Tarot

First Impressions:  Demeter is so sad and desolate on this card.  I feel the barrenness of the earth as if all of the life has been taken away.  This is definitely a card of loss and the need to come in from the cold.  There is a different kind of barrenness outside my window today as it is cold and snowy and the darkness is creeping over the world even though it is just 4 pm.

Book:  Give no part of yourself to that which does not sustain you.

Guidance:  Accept the fallow times as part of the cycle, release expectation

Journaling:

I love and needed to hear the messages of this card today.  I am so impatient that I fail to see all the wonders around me.  I get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of every day that I often forget that the best things in life take time.  Demeter also reminds me of the importance of taking time to mourn and be still within myself.

December 13, 2017

Although it wasn’t the main plot line on NCIS NOLA last night, the interplay between Dwayne and his dad was meaningful to me.  The idea of being free of a parent is so liberating.  I think I have been trying so hard to be the “modern woman” that I’ve forgotten you can have love and a career.  Interesting that this is all coming up around Demeter, who lost herself in grief for her daughter.

December 18, 2017

All I need to do is to be myself.  I don’t need to make up for anything or to prove anything to anyone.  I just need to be me.

December 27, 2017

The message that all I need to do is be myself is so powerful and it is a lesson that I desperately needed to hear.  I get so caught up in trying to live up to other people’s expectations that I forget that I just need to live life for me.  I think that is why I am so adamant that my blog is mine and mine alone.  It is not meant to be a place of wisdom for other people, although I am always willing to freely share what I have learned. 

Five of Fire (Reversed)

Five of Fire
Gaian Tarot

First Impressions:  This is a card of taking chances and of danger.  Reversed, it may be about playing it safe.

Journaling:

I’m going to be really honest and say that when I pulled this card, I did not want to write about it because frankly I’m tired of writing about anger, disappointment, fear, and all these other painful emotions.  I’m tired of sorting through that nastiness.  I’m ready to move on and be happy.  However, every time I think I’m ready to move on, the crap reaches up from where I think I’ve buried it.  I’ve worked so hard to move on, but today was full of triggers from losing files that I needed to having to deal with other people’s emotional baggage. 

December 29, 2017

The one thing that strikes me as I read this is that I have a choice to be triggered or not.  I can choose to take on other people’s emotional baggage or I can choose to put on a teflon coat and not take on other people’s junk.  That’s a choice I make.  One of the best lessons I ever learned from Al-Anon is about not getting mired down in other people’s garbage.  If someone is having a bad day, I can offer sympathy or support, but I don’t have to take on their junk.  I’m not always wonderful at it, but I’m getting a lot better.