Tag: Daily Draw

Daily Draw: Adelita of Earth and Breaking Trail

These cards are amazingly apt for where I’m at today.  I’m in such a position of accepting where I am at in my life both physically and emotionally and working to “grow where I’m planted.”   Moving from being a consultant and living out of a suitcase to being an internal employee and living out of my closet is a huge shift.  I’m used to just washing the clothes in my suitcase, adding an outfit to replace what I wore home, and repacking.  Now, I’ll actually be taking things off the hangers at home and getting dressed at my house every day.  That’s a huge change and these cards address this shift in my life.

The Adelita of Earth from The Herbcrafter’s Tarot tells me to ground myself by creating beauty where I am.  That means to truly live in my house and in  my skin and appreciate it.  It is about being present in my surroundings and taking the natural materials around me to create beauty.  Interestingly, I’m also reading It’s Not Your Money by Tosha Silver and early in the book she recommends cleaning and getting rid of things that no longer matter.  For me, this is a two step process as first I clean and get rid of things, then I look at what is left and create beauty.  From a natural perspective, I’m recognizing the sacred beauty of the daffodils that spring up in my yard each year and the trees that grace my yard.  And from a human perspective, I’m moving things around instead of buying.

The other lesson from the Yucca (Adelita) is to ground spirituality in a practical way.  Sometimes we think that spirituality is separate from our daily lives, but it shouldn’t be.  In reality everything that we do is sacred and beautiful and we should honor it as such.  that is a lesson I’m learning and I’m working to honor my life by treating it as sacred.  Having a home is sacred, having people who love me is sacred, it is all sacred and when I treat it as such, life flows so much better.

Breaking Trail is interesting in juxtaposition with the Adelita of Earth because this card is about creating a new trail and seeing limitations and blockages drop away.  On the one hand, this would seem to be in opposition to the Adelita of Earth because the one card is about being grounded where you are and the other is about moving forward.  However, one of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that you don’t have to continually be on the move to move forward.  I used to think that being rooted in one place was boring and meant I was stuck, but I’ve learned that having roots really can help you grow and that’s what I take away from these two cards:  keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.

Daily Draw: Six of Fire and Cleansing Waters

The Six of Fire is such a perfect card to draw right now as my family is all about celebrations this month.  I graduated two weeks ago and Sean’s graduation is this weekend.  Although we won’t be in Phoenix like we planned, we will be celebrating as we’re  going to get a cake and pizza today and we’ll be having a watch party to watch his celebration on Monday.

One of the really interesting things to me about the situation is that Cam who insisted when wanted no celebration, didn’t want to walk down the aisle, etc. is now feeling left out because we didn’t go out to eat, we didn’t decorate, etc.  She made it sound as if she just wanted it really low key and that’s what we did.  We had dinner in last year when she got her MA and we were very proud of her, but she was adamant about not celebrating.  However, now that she sees our celebrations I think she is a little wistful that she wasn’t feted.  However, the good thing about celebrations is that it is never too late and we will have a celebration for her in a few weeks and remind her of all the ways that we are proud of her.  She is an amazing person and the fact that she graduated after all the challenges that were put in her way is amazing.  She deserves to be celebrated and we will celebrate her.

This card is also a reminder that we are a communal species and it is important to celebrate as a community and to fete one’s accomplishments.  However, the flip side of it is that we also have to be willing to step up and boast about our own accomplishments.  Sometimes we are too humble and we downplay our own accomplishments because we don’t want to put anyone out or we don’t want anyone to fuss over us.  That’s not me, I like to have people fuss over me and I believe that my accomplishments are worth celebrating!

The counterpoint to the celebratory nature of the nasturtiums  the Six of Fire is the Cleansing Waters card from the Sacred Traveler Oracle.  While the fiery nasturiums are all about passion, celebration, and community, the Cleansing Waters is more about austerity and letting go of things that no longer serve us.  This card is about not only clearing the clutter from our physical homes and bodies, but also about getting rid of the emotional garbage.  One piece that I’m working on right now is letting go of my anger and resentment over John.  Even though I know that I came out ahead and that my life is so much better, there is a part of me that wants to grind him under my heel and continue to make him pay.  That doesn’t really serve me well and it is something I’m realizing that I’m going to be working on for quite a while.  However, I also know that the very fact that I recognize it is a problem is a good thing.  I just have to continue putting one foot in front of the other and working through it.

All in all, these were pretty amazing cards.

Daily Draw: Eight of Earth & Faraway Places

“Let your work be an embodied prayer.”
Latisha Guthrie, The Herbcrafter’s Tarot

The Eight of Earth is Turmeric and this is a card of hard work and buckling down.  I needed this reminder because a lot of the work I’m doing right now is foundational and it isn’t really fun or exciting.  In some ways it is the exact same work I’ve done lots of times before and so for me at least it feels a little boring and as if I could do it in my sleep, but it is still important and it needs to be done.  This card is a reminder that everything we do can be sacred and it is they way we approach work and not the work itself that makes it sacred.  Right now we are viewing sanitation workers, grocery store clerks, and others as critical and some of those jobs might have been considered throw away jobs six months ago.  This is a reminder that everything we do can and should be viewed as sacred.   My job is all about empowering people and helping them do the  best they can.   It is a way of being of service to others and the reality is that any time we can be of service to others we are adding value and doing sacred work.  I love the line that says “Let your work be an embodied prayer.”  I need to start really focusing every morning and asking that I bring my sacredness to work.

Eight of Earth is not only about doing the work and viewing it as sacred, it is also about teaching others and that is the part of my job that I always love.  I love that aspect of my job, empowering people and helping them to learn something new so that they have a skill that they can take with them and use in other ways.  I love this aspect of life and I think that’s why I love blogging because it is a way of taking what I’ve learned and hopefully sharing it and empowering others.

The oracle card I pulled for the day was Faraway Places which is going on a journey of sorts and being willing to explore the wild and wooly places both internal and external.  This card is a very interesting juxtaposition with the Eight of Earth as that card is about buckling down and doing the work and this card is about change.  The meaning I get from these two cards is that doing the familiar work can lead to change as I apply my skills and talents in new ways.  Even though it may seem that I have learned all I need to learn, this will allow me to go deeper and explore new and different ways of being and learning.

Daily Draw: Ace of Air & Fellow Travelers

The Ace of Air seems to be a follow on card to the last two days as first there was the Two of Air which told me to let go of worn-out beliefs and I read that to mean some beliefs I had gotten from my grandmother about needing to be with someone, yesterday brought the  Adelita of Fire which was about defending the grandmother’s beliefs, and today brings the Ace of Air which is about discernment.  Pretty interesting as I read these three cards together as let go of what doesn’t serve me, keep and defend what does, and be discerning about those choices. 

The Ace of Air, Yarrow, has other important messages for me as well.  The first is to set my feelings aside and follow the truth.  That’s always a hard message for me as when I’m in a dark place, my feelings automatically go to “I suck.”  I’ve been in that place a lot this week as I’ve started a new job this week and while my boss is telling me that I’m doing what I need to do, but my brain is telling me that I suck.  A big part of it is that the expectations at this job are different than my old job and work that I’m doing now would have been “nonbillable” at my old job so I am not seeing the value in it.  A big part of this is a lesson for me to reset my expectations and to realize that things I do do add value.  I also have been feeling horrible this week as I’m battling a huge sinus infection so that may have something to do with my negative mood.  However, this is a really good reminder to keep myself positive.

The other lesson from the Ace of Air is to “know your wounds, identify your medicine.”  This is a reminder to me that sometimes I need to be gentle with myself and other times I need tough love.  My default mode is beating myself up and this card is telling me that that’s not always the right medicine.  Sometimes I need to be kind and loving and other times I need a little tough love. 

Fellow Travelers is a great card as it reminds me that I need to open up and let other people in.  I tend to think that I can do it all myself, but that’s not the case and I need a reminder that it is okay to ask for help and it’s okay to accept help.  This is also a reminder about kindness and about the fact that we need to be kind and help others when we can.

Daily Draw: Adelita of Fire and Crossing Bridges

What I find interesting about Adelita of Fire from the Herbcrafter’s Tarot is that this card is about defending the integrity of the grandmother’s teachings while yesterday’s Two of Air was about letting go of warn out beliefs and lessons. What is ironic about this juxtaposition of cards is that a lot of the lessons that I need to let go of came from my grandmother.  In some ways this is a mind twister for me, but when I step back and look at the bigger picture, I need to learn to be discerning about the lessons from my grandmothers and carry with me the ones that add value and let go of the ones that are outmoded. I think I do this to a certain extent as I have picture of my Grandmother Elda hanging over my sink as she is my role model of a good cook.  I have so many fond memories of eating around her table.  Those are the lessons that I take with me as I learned so much about being a good cook and a good person from her.

One of the intriguing aspects of this card is the call to be a leader and to empower others.  That’s a message that I’ve really been learning in my life lately and something my new boss said to me that really struck me was about his wanting to be of service.  That’s something a lot of people don’t think of lately because we make it all about ourselves and all about ego.  We don’t think about how we can serve others and that makes the world a little sadder.  There is this perception somehow that when we serve others we are somehow diminished, but that shouldn’t be the case at all because being of service means we are helping others.

Cayenne in combination with Crossing Bridges tells me to only take what is important with me and to let go of all the things that no longer serve me.  I need to heal my past and let go of the pain, the anger, and all that junk.  This card calls for me to forgive and let go and forgiveness is sometimes incredibly difficult for me because I am a scorpio and my MO is to hold on till grudges until someone has paid a stiff price.  This card is telling me that maybe I need to just walk away and let it all go.  I am realizing the older I get that grudges really don’t serve me well.

Daily Draw: Two of Air and Wise Leader

Chicory is an interesting plant for me because when I was growing up and we would go on trips with my grandmother, she would always point it out and call it Blue Ruin.  As this was in the days before the internet, I had no way of looking it up to see why it was called that and she didn’t know either.  I did Google it, but couldn’t find anything related to it being called Blue Ruin.  Why that memory is important is that Chicory (Two of Air) in The Herbcrafter’s Tarot is telling me to let go of long held beliefs and to let go of worn-out beliefs and one of the messages that my grandmother hammered into my head was that I needed a man to survive.  Starting when I was about 14 or 15 every time I went to visit her, she would ask if I had a boyfriend yet and when I went to college, she wasn’t interested in what I was learning or what was happening at school, all she cared about was whether or not I had a boyfriend.

She wasn’t the only one that was drilling the message into my head that I needed a man to be whole, my parents were also sending that message.  My father made it clear that the only degree he would pay for was an accounting degree because then I could support myself in the event that I had to.  When I reflect upon that now, I’m realizing that the message was that supporting myself was a fall back plan because the ideal course of action would be to be supported by a man while I did the “housewifely” things like cooking and cleaning.  Why would a woman ever want to support herself?  My mother reinforced this idea by expecting everything I did in life to be about someone else.  This continued up until the day I had had enough with her and cut her out of my life.  That day came when I told her I was separating from my husband and her questions where “How are the kids?” and “There’s not going to be a divorce, is there?”  There was no concern for me or how I felt, instead it was (as it had always been) about everyone else.

I’ve worked hard in the last 10 years to learn that I am an amazing and awesome person all by myself and that I don’t need someone to support me.  That doesn’t mean I don’t want someone in my life, but it does mean that I’ve learned that I am a whole human being all by myself.

The Wise Leader reinforces this by reminding me that I can be a beacon for others and I can lead people.  This has been a hard lesson for me as well as my father continually reminded me that women were not leaders, women should not be in a position of power over men.  The last few years have been about coming into my own as a person and as a leader and I’m realizing that I am strong and that I can stand proud and lead people.

These were awesome cards and a good reminder for me to continue to let go of all the old and hateful lessons.

Daily Draw: Hija of Earth and Impasse

Hija of Earth from the Herbcrafter’s Tarot and Impasse from the Sacred Traveler’s Oracle are another pair of cards that are perfectly in synch.  Hija tells me to maintain my boundaries while Impasse tells me that sometimes I need to redirect.  I’m reading these cards as a reminder to not only keep my own boundaries, but also to respect others and that sometimes I do need to stop and redirect.  I’m someone who loves to be in charge and loves to drive forward, no matter what the cost.  However, these cards are showing me that that is not always the best way to live.  Sometimes we need to stop, reevaluate, and redirect.  These cards are especially meaningful to me today because I’m giving up something I’ve worked hard for to go in a different direction.  I was finally given the director’s title in February and I’m walking away to spend more time with my family and to have more work life balance.  For me that’s the right choice, even though my ego isn’t liking it too much.

Hija is also telling me that I need to let go of my need for perfection and to just accept that sometimes good enough is all that is needed.  That’s not a lesson I like, but it is the one that I need.

Daily Draw: Seven of Swords

First Impressions:  Sneakiness, taking back what’s mine

Book:  Unwise action, failing plain,new ideas, challenging old assumptions

Guidance:  Do not take credit for others ideas, do not procrastinate

Journaling:

This card to me is about soul theft.  I’m realizing as I reflect on my soul retrieval that my grandmother, John, and Charlene  all stole pieces of my soul.  My grandmother did it with her careless comment.  She took away a piece of me that needed to matter to other people.  She didn’t believe I was worth loving and she didn’t believe I was worth making a connection to.  I reality, I don’t know if that is true.  Maybe it was just a stupid and thoughtless comment.  She never treated me as if I didn’t matter and I have also received unconditional love from others who did believe I mattered.

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Letter from my grandma

Lora,

I’m so sorry.  I love you and would never want you to think otherwise.  You are amazing, strong, and courageous.  I didn’t want your Mommy and Daddy to feel any pain if something happened to you, but that was wrong as the reality of it is that your Daddy was attached to you the moment he laid eyes o you.  You were going to be amazing.  He struggled to reconcile his feelings about women with his desire for you to succeed. That was hard for him.  He never did like John, but he respected your choices.  You are loved and you do matter.  I am so sorry for hurting you.

Love, Grandma

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Dearest Soul Part held captive by Charlene,

I am so sorry that I didn’t realize that she had you.  I did not connect the anger and resentment I was feeling with her holding you and abusing you.  Everything she told you is lies.  Women are not second class citizens and it is not our job to give everything of ourselves in service to others.  We are allowed to have our own hopes and dreams. 

Charlene is a product of another day and time.  She is an ancestor and she does not speak for the way the world is.  I am so happy you are home and we will take care of you.  Thank you for being strong while she held you captive. 

Raine

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Dearest Soul Part held captive by John,

I am so happy you are home and I am so sorry that I left you behind.  Everything that he told you is a lie.  I am not too big for my britches.  I am sexy, funny, and loving.  However it is hard to be any of those things when you are constantly being put down and abused.  You are safe in our home as bad behavior is not tolerated.  The rules of the house are that everyone is treated with respect and no one is put down.  We discuss disagreements respectfully.

Welcome home!  I am so glad you are here.

Raine,

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Dearest Soul Part that was with X,

I am glad you are back and I’m sorry that I gave you away.  Thank you for the guidance to be myself and live my best life.  I just need to be patient and let life unfold.

Blessings, Raine

December 25, 2018

This soul retrieval was so amazing and I have grown and changed so much since it has happened.  I know that I am healing because I am letting go of the anger toward Charlene.  I know in my heart of hearts that she did not mean to hurt me and that makes it easier to forgive her and let go.  However, I also know that intention isn’t all that mattered.  She did hurt me and she will continue to hurt me if I let her back into my life. 

I also know that I really need to let go of John and cut the cord completely.  There are days when I wish he will fall flat on his face and other days where I hope that he has a happy life and doesn’t drag Sean down with him.  At this point, what I really want is just for him to not be in my life any more.

Destruction

Destruction
Dark Goddess Tarot

First Impressions:  I love the red fringe hanging over Kali, although I’m not sure if it is fire raining down on her or fire she has conjured.  I see her as severing heads and moving forward.

Book:  All the world changes, necklace of skulls and skirt of limbs, beloved by people as she allows them to move beyond fear.

Guidance:  Pray that Kali will be kind, illusions will be shattered, ride it out as best you can, do not evade dealing with something difficult

Journaling:

There are a couple of difficult things that I am dealing with at work. The first is not being 100% dedicated to a project and billable.  However, feeling insecure does not mean I am on unstable ground.  It is a feeling and not necessarily a fact.  Building new things always brings with it a period of adjustment, of change, and of growth.  Going through change does not mean that things will not work out.  It just provides opportunities for good things to flow into my life. 

I also need to accept that something I’ve really wanted in my life is an illusion and is not going to happen.  The one thing I have come to realize about this situation is that it really isn’t about me.  Just because someone is not in a position to do something, does not mean I am unlovable or unworthy.  It really is not personal and has nothing to do with me.  The good thing is that this realization doesn’t shatter me or even make me sad and that makes me happy.

January 13, 2018

Despite the fact that I deal with change everyday at work, it is still not something I truly enjoy.  I especially hate the destructive aspects of change because it hurts and is painful.  My divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me as it allowed me to become more truly myself, but it was also the hardest thing that ever happened to me.  I was stripped to the bone and there were times when it felt as if I would never recover.  However, it also allowed me to rebuild myself and to become a better and stronger person.

Witch of Air

Witch of Air
Dark Goddess Tarot

First Impressions:  I love the swirling colors on this card and how there is really an impression that the wind is blowing and life is swirling all around.  This card tells me that the winds of change are blowing.

Book:  Tear the veil between the worlds and anything can happen, riding storms into battle, bringing change to all she touches, destruction, carrying the power of the wind

Guidance:  Your power is great during this time of upheaval, power comes from knowing your heart and soul

Journaling:

I love the message of Oya, especially as I sit here listening to the wind howling.  It feels like a time of transition.  The world is changing and I can choose to move with it or to resist and be blown apart.  One of the lesson I’m feeling is that Oya flows back and forth, she doesn’t just move in one direction.

I know there are times I need to move backward to take a step forward, but the step backward doesn’t have to be really far as sometimes just one step back can really help us to gain perspective.  As I sit and listen to the cold wind blow, I’m realizing the other lesson from Oya’s world:  She blows away that which is no longer needed  The leaves are blowing off the trees now because they are no longer needed, but the snow stays put as it is needed to help the planet grow.

What needs to blow away in my life to reveal the bones of the matter?  What is important to me?  What needs to stay?

January 20, 2018

Dearest Oya,

Goddess of Change, Goddess of the Marketplace, please help me to see what I need to let go of and help me to be the person I need to be.  Please help me to let go of that which no longer serves me.

Blessings,
Raine