six of swords – Cairn by Cairn

Tarot Blog Hop: Musical Guidance from the Cards

For this Blog Hop, our wrangler Jay Cassels, to “Unleash your inner Gleek and stand on the balcony and sing for forgiveness as you explore your relationship with Tarot and Music.”

I decided the best way to unleash my Inner Gleek was to go to the cards and pull out the cards that reminded me of songs, arrange them into a journey of sorts, and ask the cards for guidance on each of the songs. I used the standard RWS deck as my guide for each question and the Golden Rider for guidance.

One of the most interesting things about this exercise was that for three of the songs, the song I was originally thinking of for each card turned out not to be the song that inspired my readings, the original song was simply a stepping stone to the song that had meaning and that I was meant to read on. As I googled lyrics, the songs that were meant to inspire me found their way onto my screen. I’ve included both the song I ended up reading on and the original song I’d chosen.

The Fool: Leap of Faith (Lionel Cartwright)

Original Song: Can’t Stop Believing (Journey)

Question: How can I take a leap of faith?

The dashing Knight of Cups tells me that the time for protecting my heart is over. I need to open my heart and wear it on my sleeve. I need to be open to love and to the warmth it brings to me. I also need to be open to love coming in unexpected ways and through unexpected channels. The Knight of Cups also tells me that I might need to think about taking a quest to find the love I want instead of quietly waiting for it to come to me.

The Seven of Wands tells me to believe in myself and what I want out of life. This is not the time to slink of quietly into the night. It is the time to stand firm and believe that what I want will come to me. This is not a card about physical aggression or about looking for a fight, instead it is a card about believing in myself and knowing that I am worthy.

The Hermit tells me that all the knowledge I need is within my own soul. I need to take time for myself and take time to listen to the wisdom of my heart. I need to calm the chatter and to trust that my heart is wise and right. I also need to be a beacon of hope for others in how I live my life. However, this is not telling me to go out and seek students or actively live my life for others. It is simply telling me that the way I live my life will inspire others.

All told, this was very good advice on how to take a leap of faith and trust that the universe will catch me. I think the thing that we sometimes forget is that taking a leap of faith doesn’t mean going into the wilderness unprepared, it means taking time to prepare and when you are ready taking a leap of faith.

Three of Hearts: When the Broken Hearted Love Again (Danielle Bollinger)

Original Song: You Give Love a Bad Name

Question: How do I love Again?

The Ace of Wands lights the way to new love and reminds me that I am a child of divinity who is creative and inventive. The Ace is telling me to focus on my own creativity and not worry too much about love. I have set my intentions and prepared for the journey and done everything I could before taking the leap of faith. Now I just need to live my life and know that good things will come to me.

The next two cards, the ten and nine of swords, would seem to be negative cards in this reading, but I’m realizing that they are not. The Ten of Swords is telling me that my heart has been broken and that there will be no pain that will be worth than what I have endured. I have survived this pain and I will survive any thing else that comes my way. The Ten of Swords is also a reminder not to be a martyr, but to get up and be a survivor. And the nightmare card, the Nine of Swords, says it is my own fears keeping me from loving again and not anything concrete. The Nine is also reminding me that there is a certain element of faith to anything that happens in this world and that I need to let go and quit beating myself up.

Six of Swords: Come Sail Away (Styx)

Original Song: Leaving on a Jet Plane

Question: What am I sailing toward?

The World tells me I’m sailing toward my own self completion and being content within my own skin. I’m sailing toward liberation and letting go of the past. This is critical for me right now as I’m coming out of a period of letting go of old lessons and hold hurts. The World is a reminder that I am good enough and that I am complete and whole into myself.

The Queen of Pentacles is a reminder that I am loved and that the universe contains all that I need. Even though my own mother did not provide me with the firm foundation I needed, the Queen of Pentacles and the Goddess herself will provide for me. They will nurture me and love me and provide for my needs. The Queen of Pentacles is all about security and about knowing that there are people in my life who are there for me.

The Knight of Pentacles tells me that I am sailing toward people who will be there and who are trustworthy. I’m leaving behind people who are flaky and unreliable and moving toward a world with people who care about me and are there for me. I am sailing toward reliability.

Three of Cups: Celebrate (Kool and the Gang)

Original Song: Celebrate (Kool and the Gang)

Question: What do I have to celebrate in my life?

The Six of Swords tell me that I get to celebrate moving on and leaving my past behind. I have worked hard to let go of the things and people that are holding me back and that is something I should definitely celebrate. It has been a lot of hard work, but it is paying off and I am becoming the person I was meant to be.

Although the Seven of Pentacles would seem to be an odd card for a celebration, it is the celebration of the stillness and the ability and willingness to take a pause. I am a recovering drama addict and even today there are times when my mind would rather be feasting on drama versus stillness. The Seven of Pentacles reminds me of how far I have come and that I can relish peace and quiet. Buying a house has really taught me patience as I’ve realized that I do not have the time and money to fix the entire house at once. I have to be patient and do things as I have time and money.

Life has its ups and downs as the Wheel of Fortune reminds me. Sometimes life is amazing and wonderful and other times it is not. The WoF tells me that I should celebrate life in all its glory. I need to be grateful for all the good things that come into my life. The WoF also tells me that in the short term, good things are coming my way.

The Sun: Here Comes the Sun (The Beatles)
Original Song: Here Comes the Sun (The Beatles)

Question: What are the lessons of the sun?

The Magician tells me that I have the power to manifest my own destiny. All the tools that I need are at my finger tips, I just need to choose to utilize them. The Magician also tells me that I am a channel for power and that I must respect that channel and not take it for granted.

The Eight of Wands is about taking action quickly and not about analysis by paralysis. The Eight of Wands also tells me there is a possibility of a love connection with someone I know or with someone who is just coming into my life.

The Three of Cups tells me to celebrate the goodness and wonder in life. It is time to put aside the worry that is weighing me down and raise a cup to the goodness of life. I deserve to have happiness in my life and I deserve to know that I matter. I know from experience that even though sometimes it seems that keeping our nose to the grindstone is the right course of action, taking time to celebrate can often feed our souls and make us that much more productive when we do go back to work.

Although I had my doubts when I first read this prompt as to whether or or not I could do it justice, my guides came through for me and guided me to a reading that made sense for me.

Use the links below to navigate to the previous blog, the master list, or the next blog.

Happy Hopping!

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Shadow Work–Day 26

Going forward what does my attitude on relationships need to be?

Maker Ten tells me that I create my own stability and that I need to own that. If I have a poverty consciousness around relationships or finances, then that is what I will create. Just as I have created wealth around material things, I can also choose to create wealth around relationships by having an open heart and being loving. One of the key things about creating emotional wealth is knowing that I am worthy of having friends and relationships. I am not some hideous monster to be hidden in the corner, which is what I sometimes thing. I deserve love and friendship.

Dreamer Six is about taking a journey and choosing what to take with me and what to leave behind. I can choose to drag around all the drama from my childhood or I can choose to learn the lessons from my childhood and take those lessons with me and leave behind the pain and the bullshit. There is nothing to be served by dragging the pain and drama with me.

Dancer Nine tells me that my relationships and my life will be what I dream into being. I can choose to hide under the covers in fear or I can choose to dream a beautiful and amazing life for myself. This card is also about opening my heart and inviting people in.

The bottom line from this reading is that I can choose what my relationships look like.

Inequality in the Sixes

I woke up this week and realized I’ve lived my entire life as a six. Before the self love crowd starts getting on me about denigrating my appearance, let me clear I’m not talking about how I look, I’m talking about tarot cards. As I get more and more familiar with tarot, I’m learning to really pick out patterns and apply them to my own life. It also helps when the cards smack us upside the head with something again and again. For me, pulling the sixes over and over again has helped me realize all the ways I’ve fostered inequality in my life.

Financial Inequality

Druidcraft Six of Pentacles

The six of pentacles is about financial inequality. The first six of pentacles card I saw was the six of pentacles from the Druidcraft deck and I hated the card because to me it was all about people asking more from a poor old man than he had to give. I shuttered every time I pulled that card because it reminded me of all the times I’d been asked to give more than I had. As I studied (and acquired) more and more decks, I realized that most decks showed a more affluent person giving money to others and not a beggar being asked to give up his last dime.

Although the traditional image was less disturbing for me than the Druidcraft deck, it still represented financial inequality as someone with a lot of money was giving to someone with less money. I thought about the very few times in my life I’d been receiving from others and about how difficult it was to ask for a handout and admit I couldn’t make my own way.

Hansen Roberts Six of Pentacles

I also thought about the many more times I had been on the giving side of the equation. Being on the giving side of the equation brings with it its own set of issues. As a parent, we have all of the money and it is our job to give it to our children as needed. However, I know from my personal experience there’s been a lot of times where I’ve fallen back on the “we can’t afford it” line instead of being honest with my kids and saying we could afford it, but I don’t think it is the best way to spend our money. An unfortunate result of the “we can’t afford it” line is that my children have developed poverty consciousness and think we can’t afford anything. I’m working hard to change that by being honest about when we really can’t afford something and when it is not the best use of our money.

Unfortunately, we live in six of pentacles society where money is a measuring stick and people who can bring in more money are rewarded more than others even though a person making less money may be making the bigger contribution to society. Executives are paid more than teachers even though teachers make a far more valuable contribution to society.

I fell into the money as a measuring stick mind set during my marriage as I made significantly more than my now ex-husband and toward the end of our marriage money became a weapon of control. My feelings were since I made the money I got to choose where to spend it. I chose not to look at the other contributions he made and based it solely on who made the most. One of the lessons I learned from my marriage is that money is not the only measuring stick and that I need to look at people more holistically.

Emotional Inequality

RWS Six of Cups

When taken at face value, the six of cups is a charming card with an older child giving a smaller child a cup of flowers. The card seems to be about nostalgia, about having a big brother to take care of you, and about a happy childhood or, as one site says, the card is about simple goodness. And all of those things are true, but there is a darker side to the six of cups.

I did a spread where I asked what I had learned about love from various couples and for one couple the six of cups came up. Looking at the textbook definition of goodness and happiness, I was confused as I’d know that this couple had a miserable marriage where she made the money and he took advantage of her. I had an ah ha moment where I realized that the six of cups could also be about emotional inequality with one person being more invested in the relationship than the other or about one person taking advantage of the other person.

I gained an even deeper understanding of this card when I kept pulling it when asking about my relationship with a certain someone. At first, I viewed it as a happy card, but when I started to compare it to the two of cups which shows two people sharing a cup; I realized that when it came to adult relationships, this card was either about one person being rescued by another or one person taking advantage of another. When I truly reflected upon my relationship with this person, I realized it was both. My friend is a guy who likes to rescue damsels in distress and a lot of our relationship was built on that inequality. On the flip side, I know that he likes to rescue damsels in distress so if I was feeling a little sad or lonely, I’d be the damsel in distress and he’d rush to my rescue.

Those realizations made me really think about the type of relationships I want in my life and even more fundamentally about who I wanted to be in my own life. I realized that I don’t want to be a damsel in distress. I want to be an equal so I want a two of cups relationship and not a six of cups relationship.

Status Inequality

The six of wands and the six of swords represent the two sides of the status inequality coin: the six of wands shows the exalted hero riding in to the cheers of his adoring fans and the six of swords shows the gondolier as servant being ignored by his passengers. As I reflected on these cards, I realized I’m more comfortable in either of these roles than in a role as an equal.

Six of Wands

My roles as consultant, teacher, and leader reflect the six of wands as I love to stand at the front of the room and lecture and give advice. It’s not only the praise and adoration I love, it is the disconnection. I don’t have to engage in real conversation with people and let them in. As I look back over my life, I realize I’m really comfortable in the roles of organizing and teaching because they give a purpose to my interactions. When I’m teaching, I’m talking on a specific topic and even if I don’t have a prepared speech, I know the material well enough that I can speak convincingly. I’m also passionate enough about what I do that my lectures appear to be heartfelt, but they’re really not because it’s difficult for me to truly let people in and engage in a heartfelt conversation. Being above the crowd insulates me from other people’s messy feelings and emotions.

Six of Swords

If being a six of wands lets me be above the fray, slipping into the six of swords persona lets me fly below the radar. As long as I do my job and meet my obligations, I don’t have to engage with people on a personal level. I take their orders and don’t let them in to see the real me. I’ve been working as a consultant for the past six years and that’s the perfect job for an introvert who doesn’t let people in because everyone knows the day I walk in the door that the gig is temporary. I’ll be there for six months or so and then I’ll move on. There is no point to getting close to people because I’ll be gone soon.

A Lonely Way to Live

Living as six is a very lonely way to live because there aren’t true heartfelt connections of equals. Everything is about dominating or being dominated and at the end of the day it is about fear. Fear of not being good enough and fear of letting people in. So my challenge is to dig deep within myself to find the courage to let people in so I can be a two of cups instead of a six.

Six of Air

First Impressions: Movement

Six of Air
Dark Goddess Tarot

Book: Goddess of arts, healing, and battle, being initiated to battle, this is a time of learning

Guidance: Accept guidance and find your purpose, prepare for challenges, learn from trusted teachers, balance activities

Journaling:

Wow! What an interesting card to draw today for what I learned from today. I’ve been asking what the next steps are and where I go from here. I’m being led and this card is telling me to accept guidance and find my purpose. Every time I ask to be led, it keeps coming back to tarot. I love tarot and it has really helped me to make that final push to heal and all of the work I’ve done to date has been amazing, but it is the tarot work that has been pushing me thee last few yards.

What I love about it is that it is the same that is different. I read the cards with my mind and my heart. I will continue to pray and meditate and allow myself to be guided wherever this journey takes me.

December 18, 2017

I’m still not sure what it all means, but I know I cannot earn what I earn now by doing tarot and I need to earn my salary.

December 25, 2017

The message I’m being given is to trust and I will be taken care of. I need to trust that it will all turn out the way it is meant to. It is incredibly hard to live a life of trust and surrender as those two words are the antithesis of my personality, but I really need to let go of my need to control my destiny and trust that they have something amazing and wonderful in store for me and that all I need to do is to take the next step. I know I’ve been guided to where I’m at today and that the next step has appeared as I’ve needed to take it, so why should I doubt that they will continue to guide me and be there for me?

Daily Draw: Six of Swords

First Impressions: Moving away from chaos, calm seas ahead

Book: Journey, passage away from hardship, moving on, but bringing baggage

Guidance: Cut one’s losses and move on, unload some baggage

Journaling

Definitely a message that I’ve been getting lately that I need to let go of the baggage and move on It is also something that I’ve been trying to do, but i keep getting dragged back to Chicago. I’m ready to move on, but I keep being stuck in projects in Chicago and I don’t know why I’m stuck in Chicago or what lessons I’m supposed to be learning.

May 25, 2018

I’m realizing that the lesson I needed to learn was that I needed to make an actual decision to leave Chicago and t cut ties. As long as I was choosing to keep one foot in the city, I was keeping myself bound to Chicago. I had to deliberately make the decision to not keep going back to Chicago for emotional fulfillment. That has been a really hard decision for me to make, but it was the right decision for me and my decision not to go to Chicago with Sean a few months ago really helped move me in the right direction.

Six of Air (Reversed)

Six of Air
Gaian Tarot

Journaling:

There is sadness where there should be tremendous joy. I am at a time in my life where there is a tremendous potential for joy, but I’m feeling depleted and isolated. I’m feeling tremendously alone. The book suggest that I’m finding it hard to find anything to be grateful for and my mind is foggy and confused. This is all so true as I’m finding it difficult to be grateful. I am so focused on the negative aspects of my job that I’m forgetting that I have a lot to be grateful for and have a lot of blessings in my life. I’m also trapped in a place of fear that is not suiting me well at all.

I need to work to turn this around and to greet the new day with a song of gratitude. I have so much to be grateful for:

I have a job that pays the bills
I have a beautiful home
I have kids that are smart and nice
I have opportunities
I have money in the bank
I’m reducing my blood sugar
I’m starting to eat more healthy foods

December 25, 2017

I’m realizing that these entries were the start of turning things around because even though I started out talking about my sadness and loneliness, I was able to get myself back to a place of gratitude. I never truly understood when people said you had a choice about your attitude and your emotions. I always just thought that your emotions were kind of like the weather and that you just had to deal with them. However, I have started to realize that I can change my emotions and I can choose to be happy. I can also choose to feel each and every emotion and acknowledge them. I think acknowledging the difficult emotions is key. I don’t have to act super happy if I’m grieving, but I can acknowledge the grief and also acknowledge the gratitude.