six – Cairn by Cairn

Six of Fire

Six of Fire
Dark Goddess Tarot

First Impressions: Epona seems to be the exalted one sitting side saddle on her horse above the other horses. She also strikes me as lonely without any other humans for company.

Book: Succeed on the strength of your alliances, the great mare is the source of fertility of the land, Epona provides for her people in death and life, Epona is also night mare who appears in dreams

Guidance: Hang a horse shoe to bring blessings, make progress day by day on a task until it is done, let people help you, Know what prosperity means to you, enjoy your moment in the sun.

Journaling:

I really like the reminder on this card to know when enough is enough. Sometimes, I get so caught up in having it all that I forget to be content with the simple things in life. We are snowed in today and part of me wants to rush to have the driveway plowed, but there is another part of me that is content to just sit and watch the snow fall. There is absolutely no where that we need to be today. I can take some time and smudge the house and do some cleansing, but there is nothing that truly needs to be done today.

It makes me wonder how often I rush to do things just because instead of sitting and enjoying what is. It is actually hard sitting here and watching the snow fall instead of rushing about. The one thing that I should do is to go out and shove the walk for the mail man if he hasn’t come yet.

I have been gifted with so much in life. I have a beautiful home, I live in a safe neighborhood, I have food to eat, I have people in my life who love me. It is amazing how when you really take time to count your blessings all the old shit doesn’t seem as important. I’m not quite at the point where I can wish my mother and John happy and wonderful lives, but I can wish that they find peace and find healing.

I’m realizing that having peace within ourselves is the most important thing in the world as when we have peace within ourselves we are not frantically searching for someone or something. I wonder if every person on earth had peace within their soul if we would have peace on earth. Is peace something we can teach? Can we teach kids to find that place within themselves when they actually like and accept themselves or is that too much to ask?

January 3, 2018

It is amazing how actually taking the time to reflect on what I’ve written can improve my mood. I’ve been in a crappy mood all day for some unknown reason. I think it may be that our client is choosing to reduce hours and I’m a little freaked out about it. My fears about not having a job and being laid off are rising up and overwhelming me today. However, that is just Frankie Fear talking as in reality, nothing has changed since before the holidays. I knew that the client wanted to reduce the hours, but seeing my hours on the project go to 5 a week is a little scary. I know there are a couple of other things in the works, but right now I’m freaked.

Dearest Ones,

Please help me to say F* you to Frankie Fear. Help me to realize that I will always be taken care of and that I am being guided. Please help me to remember that I have always been taken care of and that my needs have always been met.

Blessings, Raine

Wow! It is absolutely amazing how fast our guides work when we are open to guidance. As I was writing this, I got a Facebook alert and there was a sponsored post for an article called “Nightmare Medicine: How to Transform Fears into Power and Clarity.” Although the article specifically dealt with entering your nightmares (maybe chasing away Frankie Fear?) and confronting our fears, there were pointers and tips that I could use to vanquish my waking fears as well.

And if that wasn’t enough to convince me that I am being taken care of, I logged into IHG to book my son a hotel as I get the member discounts and after I’d booked his hotel, I found I was eligible to get 25,000 points, which equates to one free night in a hotel, just for clicking a button. I’ve been on the fence about going to the North Star Tarot Conference and the 25K points has pushed me toward taking a leap of faith and signing up.

Inequality in the Sixes

I woke up this week and realized I’ve lived my entire life as a six. Before the self love crowd starts getting on me about denigrating my appearance, let me clear I’m not talking about how I look, I’m talking about tarot cards. As I get more and more familiar with tarot, I’m learning to really pick out patterns and apply them to my own life. It also helps when the cards smack us upside the head with something again and again. For me, pulling the sixes over and over again has helped me realize all the ways I’ve fostered inequality in my life.

Financial Inequality

Druidcraft Six of Pentacles

The six of pentacles is about financial inequality. The first six of pentacles card I saw was the six of pentacles from the Druidcraft deck and I hated the card because to me it was all about people asking more from a poor old man than he had to give. I shuttered every time I pulled that card because it reminded me of all the times I’d been asked to give more than I had. As I studied (and acquired) more and more decks, I realized that most decks showed a more affluent person giving money to others and not a beggar being asked to give up his last dime.

Although the traditional image was less disturbing for me than the Druidcraft deck, it still represented financial inequality as someone with a lot of money was giving to someone with less money. I thought about the very few times in my life I’d been receiving from others and about how difficult it was to ask for a handout and admit I couldn’t make my own way.

Hansen Roberts Six of Pentacles

I also thought about the many more times I had been on the giving side of the equation. Being on the giving side of the equation brings with it its own set of issues. As a parent, we have all of the money and it is our job to give it to our children as needed. However, I know from my personal experience there’s been a lot of times where I’ve fallen back on the “we can’t afford it” line instead of being honest with my kids and saying we could afford it, but I don’t think it is the best way to spend our money. An unfortunate result of the “we can’t afford it” line is that my children have developed poverty consciousness and think we can’t afford anything. I’m working hard to change that by being honest about when we really can’t afford something and when it is not the best use of our money.

Unfortunately, we live in six of pentacles society where money is a measuring stick and people who can bring in more money are rewarded more than others even though a person making less money may be making the bigger contribution to society. Executives are paid more than teachers even though teachers make a far more valuable contribution to society.

I fell into the money as a measuring stick mind set during my marriage as I made significantly more than my now ex-husband and toward the end of our marriage money became a weapon of control. My feelings were since I made the money I got to choose where to spend it. I chose not to look at the other contributions he made and based it solely on who made the most. One of the lessons I learned from my marriage is that money is not the only measuring stick and that I need to look at people more holistically.

Emotional Inequality

RWS Six of Cups

When taken at face value, the six of cups is a charming card with an older child giving a smaller child a cup of flowers. The card seems to be about nostalgia, about having a big brother to take care of you, and about a happy childhood or, as one site says, the card is about simple goodness. And all of those things are true, but there is a darker side to the six of cups.

I did a spread where I asked what I had learned about love from various couples and for one couple the six of cups came up. Looking at the textbook definition of goodness and happiness, I was confused as I’d know that this couple had a miserable marriage where she made the money and he took advantage of her. I had an ah ha moment where I realized that the six of cups could also be about emotional inequality with one person being more invested in the relationship than the other or about one person taking advantage of the other person.

I gained an even deeper understanding of this card when I kept pulling it when asking about my relationship with a certain someone. At first, I viewed it as a happy card, but when I started to compare it to the two of cups which shows two people sharing a cup; I realized that when it came to adult relationships, this card was either about one person being rescued by another or one person taking advantage of another. When I truly reflected upon my relationship with this person, I realized it was both. My friend is a guy who likes to rescue damsels in distress and a lot of our relationship was built on that inequality. On the flip side, I know that he likes to rescue damsels in distress so if I was feeling a little sad or lonely, I’d be the damsel in distress and he’d rush to my rescue.

Those realizations made me really think about the type of relationships I want in my life and even more fundamentally about who I wanted to be in my own life. I realized that I don’t want to be a damsel in distress. I want to be an equal so I want a two of cups relationship and not a six of cups relationship.

Status Inequality

The six of wands and the six of swords represent the two sides of the status inequality coin: the six of wands shows the exalted hero riding in to the cheers of his adoring fans and the six of swords shows the gondolier as servant being ignored by his passengers. As I reflected on these cards, I realized I’m more comfortable in either of these roles than in a role as an equal.

Six of Wands

My roles as consultant, teacher, and leader reflect the six of wands as I love to stand at the front of the room and lecture and give advice. It’s not only the praise and adoration I love, it is the disconnection. I don’t have to engage in real conversation with people and let them in. As I look back over my life, I realize I’m really comfortable in the roles of organizing and teaching because they give a purpose to my interactions. When I’m teaching, I’m talking on a specific topic and even if I don’t have a prepared speech, I know the material well enough that I can speak convincingly. I’m also passionate enough about what I do that my lectures appear to be heartfelt, but they’re really not because it’s difficult for me to truly let people in and engage in a heartfelt conversation. Being above the crowd insulates me from other people’s messy feelings and emotions.

Six of Swords

If being a six of wands lets me be above the fray, slipping into the six of swords persona lets me fly below the radar. As long as I do my job and meet my obligations, I don’t have to engage with people on a personal level. I take their orders and don’t let them in to see the real me. I’ve been working as a consultant for the past six years and that’s the perfect job for an introvert who doesn’t let people in because everyone knows the day I walk in the door that the gig is temporary. I’ll be there for six months or so and then I’ll move on. There is no point to getting close to people because I’ll be gone soon.

A Lonely Way to Live

Living as six is a very lonely way to live because there aren’t true heartfelt connections of equals. Everything is about dominating or being dominated and at the end of the day it is about fear. Fear of not being good enough and fear of letting people in. So my challenge is to dig deep within myself to find the courage to let people in so I can be a two of cups instead of a six.

Six of Air

First Impressions: Movement

Six of Air
Dark Goddess Tarot

Book: Goddess of arts, healing, and battle, being initiated to battle, this is a time of learning

Guidance: Accept guidance and find your purpose, prepare for challenges, learn from trusted teachers, balance activities

Journaling:

Wow! What an interesting card to draw today for what I learned from today. I’ve been asking what the next steps are and where I go from here. I’m being led and this card is telling me to accept guidance and find my purpose. Every time I ask to be led, it keeps coming back to tarot. I love tarot and it has really helped me to make that final push to heal and all of the work I’ve done to date has been amazing, but it is the tarot work that has been pushing me thee last few yards.

What I love about it is that it is the same that is different. I read the cards with my mind and my heart. I will continue to pray and meditate and allow myself to be guided wherever this journey takes me.

December 18, 2017

I’m still not sure what it all means, but I know I cannot earn what I earn now by doing tarot and I need to earn my salary.

December 25, 2017

The message I’m being given is to trust and I will be taken care of. I need to trust that it will all turn out the way it is meant to. It is incredibly hard to live a life of trust and surrender as those two words are the antithesis of my personality, but I really need to let go of my need to control my destiny and trust that they have something amazing and wonderful in store for me and that all I need to do is to take the next step. I know I’ve been guided to where I’m at today and that the next step has appeared as I’ve needed to take it, so why should I doubt that they will continue to guide me and be there for me?

Six of Pentacles

Six of Pentacles
Gilded Tarot

First Impressions: I’m not sure how I feel about this card as the hands are very disjointed and he is so focused on the scale that he isn’t looking at the people. This card is about judgement and about deciding who to give to.

Book: Giving, letting resources fall by the wayside, giving too much, choices, needs being mutually met, power imbalance, abuse

Guidance: Give wisely, examine your motives in giving, strive for more equality

Journaling

This card confirms what I know in my heart that X and I will never be together. He sees me as a peer and as strong and that’s not what he wants. He likes to be the white knight who rides the rescue and that’s not the situation any more. I think I knew it was over 3 years ago when he said I was a strong woman. That should have been a compliment, but it hurt like hell. It felt as if I was slapped in the face. In some ways, that was worse than all the insults that John threw at me. At the time, I thought my reaction was just me being paranoid, but I knew now that wasn’t paranoia, that was the end of whatever chance I had of being with him. He likes damsels in distress and that was the day I knew that wasn’t me any longer.

January 23, 2018

I’m not exactly sure how I got from the six of pentacles to the conclusion I drew, but I guess that is what the gods were whispering in my ear when I pulled this card. When I look at this pull in combination with the Nine of Pentacles Reversed that I drew before, this makes so much sense. The nine of pentacles was me being released from my golden cage and this card is confirming that I am my own person. I no longer need someone to take care of me as I’m quite capable of taking care of myself.

The thing is that I’ve been quite capable of taking care of myself for quite a long time, but because of the conditioning I received, I thought I needed someone and that I was nothing on my own. It’s taken me a long time to realize it, but I am good enough on my own and I don’t need someone to take care of me. I’ve also realized that collaborating and being taken care of are two different things. I can collaborate with people and continue to be capable and strong.

Daily Draw: Six of Swords

First Impressions: Moving away from chaos, calm seas ahead

Book: Journey, passage away from hardship, moving on, but bringing baggage

Guidance: Cut one’s losses and move on, unload some baggage

Journaling

Definitely a message that I’ve been getting lately that I need to let go of the baggage and move on It is also something that I’ve been trying to do, but i keep getting dragged back to Chicago. I’m ready to move on, but I keep being stuck in projects in Chicago and I don’t know why I’m stuck in Chicago or what lessons I’m supposed to be learning.

May 25, 2018

I’m realizing that the lesson I needed to learn was that I needed to make an actual decision to leave Chicago and t cut ties. As long as I was choosing to keep one foot in the city, I was keeping myself bound to Chicago. I had to deliberately make the decision to not keep going back to Chicago for emotional fulfillment. That has been a really hard decision for me to make, but it was the right decision for me and my decision not to go to Chicago with Sean a few months ago really helped move me in the right direction.

Hanson-Roberts Recap

Type of Spreads: Daily Draws

Time Frame: September 10, 2016 to October 8, 2016

Overall Rating: 😎😎😎😎😎

Theme: This deck follows the RWS, but gives a fresher perspective. I love the colors on the cards and I love that that the images are closer and more intimate. It feels as if I can really study them and get to know them. I also love the colors on this deck.

Impressions:

I really enjoyed working with this deck. It is a nice size to hold in my hand and I enjoy the artwork. One of the things I learned from playing with this deck is that playing solitaire is a great way to get comfortable working with the cards.

Overall, I feel the cards truly took on my energy and they felt like an old friend when I picked them up. I have to be honest and say that part of me wants to keep working with this deck, but I know that it is good to get familiar with all my decks.

Favorite Cards

Six of Pentacles
Hanson Roberts

My first experience with the six of pentacles was with the DruidCraft deck and that experience left me traumatized as for me that card showed a very poor may being asked to give more than he could afford. However, as I’ve explored other decks and dug deeper into the tarot, I’ve realized that the card is not about giving more than you can afford, but about both giving and receiving with an open heart. As a result, I’ve learned to appreciate the card overall.

What I like about this version of the six of pentacles is that he looks happy to share what he has. He is giving with an open heart instead of giving from a place of gamesmanship or having to give to impress people. I also love that he is measuring what he gives out and I take that to mean that he is only giving what he can afford to give.

Queen of Cups
Hanson Roberts

The Queen of Cups is always one of my favorite cards because in all the decks I have, she carries herself regally, but she is also very approachable. That holds true in this deck as well as she looks like a woman who is enjoying her morning coffee. Her air is a little bit messy and she’s holding the cup with two hands just like someone who really needs her morning caffeine.

She’s also looking deep into the cup as if she’s doing a little bit of scrying while she’s contemplating her coffee. Overall she looks very balanced and sure of herself, but she also looks like someone I wouldn’t mind getting to know ad hang out with.

Justice
Hanson Roberts

Justice is another beautiful woman who looks dedicated and ready to do business, but approachable. She looks as if she is someone who will truly listen to both sides of the story. Our lady justice is also fully engaged and ready to hear with all of her senses. She is not blind to what is before her.

I get the sense that this is someone who will truly listen and find the heart of the matter versus just the cold black and white of the facts. Whatever justice she dispenses will be fair and compassionate.

Queen of Rods
Hanson Roberts

I love all the sun energy in this card. Rods are the cards of fire and some artists go for flame with their interpretations, but Hanson and Roberts went for the energy of the sun and it truly works. The sun elements in this card include the solar cross on her necklace, the sunburst of her thrown, the sunflower she’s holding, the yellow cat, and the lion.

I especially love the juxtopositon of the cat and the lion as that gives us both the fun and friendly feline energy and the fiercer energy of the cat’s larger cousin. Although this is not an Egyptian deck by any stretch of the imagination, this deck makes me think of Sekhemet and Bast with all the solar energy.

Least Favorite Cards

Ace of Cups
Hanson Roberts

This card is beautiful and if I wasn’t hung up on more traditional meanings to be found in the Tarot, I might actually like it. I do love the clouds in the background and the cup kind of just hanging out on top of the water. However, what I don’t like is that the water falling from the sky seems to be missing the cup. I don’t get the sense of water overflowing the cup into the stream like I do in other cards.

When I truly look at this card, it almost seems as if the card is being held aloft by the streams of water like a hot air balloon. It is an interesting interpretation, but overall I really don’t like it.

Eight of Rods
Hanson Roberts

I have to be honest and say that I never really like the eight of rods/wands as it seems to be a boring card. However, there are some versions okay with because you don’t know if the wands are going up or coming down. In this version its pretty apparent they are coming down because in all of the rods, the blossoms have been shown pointing up.

This is just a boring card with very low energy and I truly get no sense of what is supposed to be happening in this card.

High Priestess
Hanson Roberts

I don’t like this card at all because there is too much religious symbolism. She is wearing a cross, she has the moon goddess symbol in her headdress, and the scroll may be Jewish. It is just way too much and overwhelming. I realize that the mixed symbolism also appears on other High Priestess cards, but I don’t like it.

Even though I am not a Christian, what I like about the Christian Church is that they’ve chosen one mythology to follow. They are not trying to be all things to all people like this High Priestess is.

HIerophant
Hanson Roberts

The Hierophant is one of those cards that I usually don’t like, but that there are some decks that have a version I like. This is not one of those decks. I do not like this hierophant as he represents everything I believe is wrong with the Christian church. He looks cruel and the two children are bowing before him. It also looks as if he might be ready to strike them with his stick thingy.

Additionally, he looks totally disengaged. It doesn’t appear as if he is connected at all with heaven or earth. He just appears in his own little world.

Summary

Overall, I really like this deck and it is a deck that I will read with again.

Six of Wands

Six of Rods
Hanson Roberts

Immediate Impressions: This conquering hero is wearing a laurel wreath as a symbol of victor. His helmet is gold and one of the rods holds a wreath in celebration. The sun is shining over the entire scene providing light and energy and seeming to celebrate with the returning hero. My immediate response to the card is that it is a card of victory, homecoming, and provides a sense of completion.

Book: Victory and success through one’s own efforts. Mastery of the self. Leadership. Victory but not satisfaction.

Guidance: Enjoy your victory

Journaling

I’m not sure why I pulled this card today as I don’t feel victorious. I feel totally beaten down by lie and trapped. I’m not sure what the victory could be. Maybe the key is to take myself out of the moment and work to see the bigger picture.

When I do that, I am able to see that overall I have a wonderful life that I truly love. I’m also choosing to remind myself that none of the drama at work is my drama. This is all Gateway’s Drama and my job is to stay out of the insanity.

It is also a victory that I understand how detrimental the drama is.

December 22, 2017

More lessons in drama and victory. I let myself get all swirly this week over work stuff. There was a reorganization and I’m not thrilled that I have a new boss. The rational part of me knows that Joe will have more time to spend on building an OCM practice. I know he believes in and supports OCM, but my initial gut reaction was negative and my mind wandered to the question of whether or not I should look for a new job. That has always been my go-to reaction in the past when there was a change. I never stuck around to see if it was going to be positive or negative. I just left. And that is what my scaredy cat little self wants to do this go round. However, I’ve decided that this time I’m not going to run screaming. I’m going to face my fears and stay and see what happens.

Six of Air (Reversed)

Six of Air
Gaian Tarot

Journaling:

There is sadness where there should be tremendous joy. I am at a time in my life where there is a tremendous potential for joy, but I’m feeling depleted and isolated. I’m feeling tremendously alone. The book suggest that I’m finding it hard to find anything to be grateful for and my mind is foggy and confused. This is all so true as I’m finding it difficult to be grateful. I am so focused on the negative aspects of my job that I’m forgetting that I have a lot to be grateful for and have a lot of blessings in my life. I’m also trapped in a place of fear that is not suiting me well at all.

I need to work to turn this around and to greet the new day with a song of gratitude. I have so much to be grateful for:

I have a job that pays the bills
I have a beautiful home
I have kids that are smart and nice
I have opportunities
I have money in the bank
I’m reducing my blood sugar
I’m starting to eat more healthy foods

December 25, 2017

I’m realizing that these entries were the start of turning things around because even though I started out talking about my sadness and loneliness, I was able to get myself back to a place of gratitude. I never truly understood when people said you had a choice about your attitude and your emotions. I always just thought that your emotions were kind of like the weather and that you just had to deal with them. However, I have started to realize that I can change my emotions and I can choose to be happy. I can also choose to feel each and every emotion and acknowledge them. I think acknowledging the difficult emotions is key. I don’t have to act super happy if I’m grieving, but I can acknowledge the grief and also acknowledge the gratitude.