Category: Nature

Melting Bliss


Spring comes to Chicago in puddles of slush, dirty white snow, and that indescribable scent in the air that signals that Springtime is coming. Looking out my front window I can see that most of the snow has melted, there are just a few patches where the sun doesn’t shine full force during the day. The ground, where the grass will be a brilliant green in a month or so, is now a muddy dark pit of mud that clings to your shoes and the dog’s paws.

Downtown, the warmth and wind have melted most of the snow into puddles, but a few patches cling tenaciously to life along the shadows of the skyscrapers and buildings. The brilliant white of the winter’s snow has been turned a dirty gray with black flecks by the passing trucks and the footsteps of the thousands who trod the city’s streets.

The city’s hundreds of benches of stone, brick, and metal sit unused as pedestrians hurry past too chilly to stop and soak up the beauty of the city. While during the warmth of the summer, sitting on the benches allows tourists and residents alike to soak up the warmth of the sun, today they’d be soaking up the cold from the concrete.
Despite the still chilly winds blowing off Lake Michigan, more and more brave folks are walking along the lake and taking in the beautiful panorama that is the city of Chicago. The city feels vibrant as if it is shaking off the cold mantle of winter and preparing to embrace the beauty and softness that is spring in Chicago. The wind holds that indescribable promise of the warmth to come, but for now there is bliss in anticipating the warm weather to come.

Tropical Bliss

I found out last week that I needed to fly to Miami on Saturday and stay through Tuesday night. It sounds like a lot of fun to jet off to a tropical hot spot in November, but the reality of it was that I’d had a nice quiet weekend planned. I was going to have lunch with an old friend, scrub the house down, do my Thanksgiving shopping and just generally chill out. Unfortunately, in today’s economy when duty calls you have to go because decent jobs are tough to come by.

My flight from Chattanooga landed about 6:00 pm on Friday so I had enough time to run out and do my Thanksgiving shopping, do my laundry, and repack my bag before it was time to fall into bed. Saturday morning I headed off to pick Sean up at school. We had a nice lunch together and then he dropped me off at the airport. Once I was in the air, I had time to reflect upon how this might not be such a bad thing, after all even though we were working there should be time in the evenings to hang out and chill out and just relax. I’d done my research on the hotel and found they had a pool and a great patio with inviting looking sofas so maybe I could spend a few hours hanging out by the pool and reading or writing.

Those fantasies were not to come to fruition until Tuesday morning. My new boss had most of his new team on the ground and together for the first time and he wanted us to hang out together and get to know each other. I like my new boss and I like my new coworkers, but I also love my me time and heading into the holidays I knew it was going to be in short supply and that sofa on the patio looked so inviting.
My me time finally arrived on Tuesday morning when I arrived downstairs 45 minutes before we were supposed to head to the office. I didn’t see any of my coworkers at breakfast so I didn’t feel guilty heading outside to claim one of the big comfy overstuffed chairs for my own. I leaned back, took a deep breath of the warm tropical air, closed my eyes and listened to the fountain. I felt all the tension ease out of my body as I enjoyed my brief tropical respite. After a few minutes of relaxing, I called a friend and enjoyed a good gossip session about all the insanity happening at work. Once our gossip session ended, I pulled out my trashy novel and spent 20 minutes soaking up the sun and reading.
Although I didn’t get all the me time that I’d hoped for, that 45 minutes of tropical bliss was more than enough to recharge my batteries and give me the boost I needed.

Cuban Bliss

Three days in the semi-tropical paradise known as Miami made me believe that Latin Americans really know how to cook. In the three days we were there, we gorged ourselves on awesome Cuban, Brazilian, and Peruvian food. I missed Texas de Brazil the first night in town, but my team is pretty congenial so two of my teammates took me out for a late Cuban dinner and I had beef with onions and black beans and rice, the food was incredibly tasty and even though it was late out, we indulged ourselves in a little Cafe Cubana.

I’m not a coffee drinker, but I will always swill down the incredibly sweet, rich coffee favored in Cuba. It is made like expresso but with sugar added to the brew and it is potently rich. It is usually served in very small cup or shot glasses and it is meant to be savored. Drinking it fills your body with a very intense rush of caffeine and more than one cup will give you the jitters and a serious headache. One of my friends and I both made the mistake of downing three shots of Cafe Cubana in less than an hour and although we both suffered for our over indulgence, it wasn’t enough to make us give up the Cafe Cubana.

We headed back to the Cuban restaurant for lunch the next day and indulged in a feast fit for all of our senses. I indulged in flank steak with chimichurri sauce, ceviche, and plantains. Chimichuri sauce is a mix of parsley, olive oil, and red peppers that is drizzled over the flank steak to create the most amazing flavor. I’d first discovered Chimichurri sauce in Chattanooga of all places and I’d been a fan every since. I often make my own and drizzle it over steaks, but it’s never quite as good as what you get in restuarants. Ceviche is fish cooked in lemon juice and it becomes the most amazingly tender fish you’ve ever put in your mouth. I’ve learned to love certain types of sushi, but I loved ceviche from the first bite I put in my mouth. Plaintains are to Latin America what potatoes are to Ireland and they are served in a variety of ways from mashed like potatoes to fried to cooked with a little brown sugar. We indulged ourselves in sampling all the different ways that plantains were cooked.

Our food fest continued throughout our visit to Miami and on my last day in the land of sun and cigars, one of my good friends took me out to a Peruvian restaurant and we enjoyed a feast. We had Peruvian corn, which has much larger kernels than typical US corn, a wonderful cheese sauce with potatoes, and ceviche. The food was all fresh and tasted delicious and while we were at lunch we talked about life, love, and the wonders of self discovery.

All in all, the food, the fun, and the sun were all blissful in Miami.

Suburban Bliss

I took a stroll down Memory Lane today and I mean literally and not figuratively. Cat has a 30 minute saxophone lesson every Wednesday night and 30 minutes isn’t enough time to go home, but is too long to sit in the car and be bored. Most nights I go to the mall or the bookstore and look around and usually end up spending money I don’t have on stuff I don’t need. Today I decided to do something different and use the time to walk.
Walking in a neighborhood that isn’t your own is an interesting experience and can lead to some dead ends. The first block I turned down landed me in an apartment complex’s parking lot and I had to decide whether to walk through the complex or turn around. It was a nice day and a safe looking complex, so I decided to keep walking to get to the road on the other side. The complex was well kept and folks had made the most of their small yards. I saw potted plants sitting out, a collection of kids’s toys, and other items that made me realize that people had chosen to make these apartments real homes.
Coming out of the apartment complex, I was in what had probably once been one of the booming subdivisions built after World War II with cute little cookie cutter homes, tree lined streets, and interesting names for the streets. Some of the streets have Native American names like We-Go and Wappello, others are named for early settlers like Emerson and Rand, and then there are the names that are just plain cute like Memory Lane.
Memory Lane is a typical Northwest Suburban Chicago street lined with bungalows and ranch houses. The cars in the driveways are a mix of imports and domestics and the signs of suburban bliss are everywhere with Halloween decorations starting to appear in lawns, dogs barking in backyards, and kitschy statues out in the front yards.
Suburban bliss is an interesting thing because the original reason for suburbs was to give people room to spread out and get away from the claustrophobic highrises and narrow streets of downtown. However, ex-urbanites aren’t comfortable driving more than a few miles for the necessities of every day life like Borders and Starbucks so today the suburbs look like lowrise versions of downtown with stores, shops, and housing filling what was once cornfields. Interestingly enough, some suburbanites have taken to growing corn in their minuscule gardens. That got me thinking about how no matter how civilized we are, at heart we are all still hunter gatherers.
All too soon my timer went off and it was time to head back to the music store and reclaim my daughter and my own life and leave behind the bliss of wandering down someone else’s Memory Lane.

Elk Bliss

Despite living in Cook County, one of the most urban areas in the country, we are blissed to have a number of forest preserves within ten minutes of our house. The Cook County Forest preserve owns and maintains over 21,000 acres, including Brookfield Zoo and the Chicago Botanic Garden. To me it is amazing and a testament to some forward thinking folks who over a 100 years ago realized there would be a need to set aside acerage to give city dwellers and suburbanites the opportunity to quickly escape into the serenity of nature.

One of our favorites is the Elk Pasture in Elk Grove Village. Here, within 10 miles of O’Hare Airport, a herd of Elk graze in a fenced enclosure. There is something mistical about seeing these beautiful creatures almost free and wild. There enclosure is huge and surrounding it on one side are Busse woods. The trail that goes around the enclosure, takes you through grassy knolls and old forests. Within the woods, you can hear birds chirping and frogs croaking. Except fo the occasional plane flying overhead, you can almost imagine you’re truly in the wild.
Cat and I intended to head to the Chicago Botanic Garden tonight, but by the time we got done with work, tanning, and all the rest of our evening engagements, it was too late to get there and hav etime to do it justice. Instead we decided to head to the Friendship Conservatory in Mt. Prospect. This beautiful little conservatory has beautiful gardens, a greenhouse, and a pond. Although the greenhouse was closed by the time we got there, we spent some enjoyable time walking around and enjoying the beautiful flowers and the frogs in the pond.

We headed to the Elk Pasture after the conservatory and spent some time walking and destressing. A lot of folks were out enjoying the evening and work seemed very far away as we were walking along the trail and enjoying the woods. I called my mom as we were out on the path to tell her I was thinking of Daddy, who’d always enjoyed driving out in the woods near his home to look for deer. Talking to my mom, thinking of my dad, and walking with Caitlin, gave me a truly blissful feeling of being connected to people who matter.

Planting Bliss

There is something primal about digging my hands in the dark, fertile earth that makes me feel alive and connected to my prehistoric ancestors. Granted there isn’t much call to grow all my own food in the wild and woolly suburbs of Chicago, but I did take some time this year to plant some flowers out front. My ground is rough and sort of rocky so instead of tilling the earth, I took a shortcut and planted a container garden.

Now being tremendously cheap and not wanting to invest in containers, I scrounged through the house and found old pots with no lids, a few garbage cans we weren’t using, and a few baskets to use as my containers. I’d done my research online and found that a lot of other people were using recycled materials to do their planting in, so I figured there was a precedent.

A trip to Home Depot in May yielded a host of plants including dahlias, azaleas, petunias, and a bunch of other plants that I thought looked cool. I brought them all home, sat them outside and went inside to congratulate myself on at least getting the plants purchased. Of course, once I got inside, I got lost in the Web and it was dark before I remembered that I had plants outside that I needed to plant. I figured they’d be okay overnight after all they’d been sitting out at Home Depot for goddess knows how long.

The next morning dawned beautifully so I headed outside with my bags of potting soil and my found containers and started dumping dirt in containers. Realistically, I know that I should have drilled holes in the containers before I started planting, but I figured there’d be enough dirt in there that my plants wouldn’t get swamped, besides they were calling for a really dry hot summer. The plants looked gorgeous once I got them all planted so I headed inside to congratulate myself and take a shower.

Everything looked fresh and green and wonderful the first week. The wave petunias looked fantastic falling out of the baskets and overall things looked great. Then it started to rain. The first few days everything still looked bright and wonderful and then puddles started to form in my containers. I dumped them out and prayed for drought. No one was listening and it continued to rain and drown my flowers. I think it rained every day for three weeks.

A lot of my plants were casualties of the rain, including the Azalea, which looked sick and spindly when the rain was over. Someone with more time on their hands, would have probably dumped out the plants, drilled holes in the containers and started over. However, I didn’t have a lot of time so I left all my poor spindly little plants sitting outside in their makeshift containers and averted my eyes when I walked in the door.

Coming home one evening, I realized that there were beautiful pink flowers popping out of one of my containers. Closer inspection revealed that the Azalea bush that I’d thought was dead was blooming and it’s been blooming ever since. Surrounded by its poor dead little neighbors, it looks like a rock star.

There’s a certain fundamental bliss in knowing that beauty can bloom even when neglected, over watered, and planted with no drainage. It’s a great reminder that life can surprise us with its beauty, its wonder, and its bliss.

Bliss Mountain

I’ve spent quite a bit of the last month traveling, but the best traveling was the three days my daughter and I spent wandering around the South. I spent a week in South Carolina for work and she flew down to Atlanta to meet me. We had no set agenda, except to see the sites and enjoy each other’s company.
Her flight landed right on time and I was thrilled to see my so-grown up daughter get off the plane. Even though she is 17 and has flown several times before, I was so nervous about all the things that could go wrong between when her dad put her on the plane in Chicago and I picked her up in Atlanta that I breathed a deep sigh of relief when I saw her get off the plane.
We started our adventure with a trip to the Pendergrass Flea Market, which bills itself as Georgia’s Largest and the World’s Largest Flea Market. I can’t speak for it being the largest, but it was certainly a change for a girl who grew up believing flea markets were grungy affairs where people sold left overs out of the back of their trucks. There was an amazing array of goods at the Pendergrass Flea Market from necklaces to pigs. We spent a relaxing hour or so looking at stuff we didn’t need before we decided to head on our way.
I’d given Caitlin the option of mountains or the ocean and she chose the mountains. We headed north toward North Carolina. As we passed through the tip of South Carolina, we decided to stop at Oconee Station to see what was there. Deep in the SC woods we found a small ranger’s station and two old buildings. One had been a house in prior days and the other an outpost. Although it was a beautifully sunny day, there seemed to be a chill in the air when we stepped into the dwellings and it was as if the ghosts of the past were speaking to us and urging us never to forget the atrocities that had taken place in the peaceful hills of the South.
As we were about to leave the station, we saw a sign for the Station Cove Falls. Inquiring at the guard station we were told the falls were an easy 30 minute walk. The hike was easy for my very in shape daughter, but very out of shape me struggled with the ups and downs of the mountain hills. Caitlin walked ahead and it took me over an hour to catch up with her and by then she was walking back from the falls because she’d gotten worried about me. She told me that once I got there I would have to walk down and over hills and she advised me to turn around because she could see I was already pretty worn out. I heeded her advice and started walking back, dreading the long and hilly walk back. However, my sweet and brave daughter knew I was physically exhausted and dehydrated and she walked all the way back and got the car and then met me at a way post. I was so proud of her because even though she is 17, she doesn’t have her license and has less than 10 hours experience behind the wheel. She explained to me that she drove very slowly and watched the road carefully. I’m just glad this happened in the backwoods of South Carolina and not downtown Chicago.
After this adventure, we stopped at a fruit stand and bought some of the best nectarines and blackberries we’d ever had and called that lunch. We spent the next few hours driving through the mountains and talking about life, college, and a host of other things. It was refreshing to listen to my daughter talk about her goals and realize that her dad and I had done a pretty good job raising her. We stopped for dinner at a quaint little restaurant overlooking some falls. I had trout and Cat had what she declared was the best veggie lasagna that she’d ever had.
We also stopped by a little shop selling crafts from local artisans and we bought some beautiful glass jewelry. After we left though, Cat and I talked and we both realized that we’d gotten a really bad vibe from the lady running the store as if she was taking advantage of the local artists. Neither of us is sure why we felt that, but it was interesting that we both had the same feeling.
We rolled into Asheville, NC around 8 pm and there wasn’t a hotel room to be had unless we were willing to pay $150 a night, which we weren’t. I pulled into the parking lot of the local Chik-a-filet and started surfing the net and making calls to find us a room. I finally found one in Greenville, SC so we got back on the road and drove for another hour before bedding down. I spent some time before we headed to bed figuring out where we’d be the next two nights and making reservations so that we didn’t hear “no room at the inn” again.
Breakfast the next morning was a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts. The Krispy Kreme by us closed about six months ago so we were both ready for our donut fix. Driving around Greenville we came upon this beautiful park built around a waterfall. There was a magnificent suspension bridge and an amazing park full of people running, playing, and enjoying life. We got out and spent some time enjoying the serenity before we headed north to Asheville and the Blue Ridge Parkway.
The Blue Ridge Parkway is known as “America’s Favorite Drive and I can see how it got that name. It is an incredibly beautiful parkway through the Blue Ridge Mountains. We drove up mountains, down mountains, and through tunnels all the while enjoying some sweet bluegrass music and the amazing scenery. The first hour or so we stopped at every scenic overlook to take pictures, but then we realized we’d never get to Johnson City, TN if we kept stopping so we vowed to only stop when we got to the top of the mountain. Mount Mitchell was definitely worth stopping for as it is the highest peak east of the Mississippi. I felt as if I could see forever. We made Johnson City by 6:30 pm and after a meal at Caitlin’s favorite restaurant, Waffle House, we turned in early so we could drive back to Atlanta the next day.
Our last day in the South we spent driving through TN, NC, SC, and GA. We got to the hotel by 7 and after a quick meal, Caitlin turned in and I went to return the rental car. All too soon our journey was over and it was time to return to the mundane world of work, bills, and the like, but I know I will always carry memories of this special trip in my heart as I felt like I had three wonderful days with my daughter outside the bounds of everyday life. I’ve always loved my daughter, but in those three days I learned what an incredible, independent, vivacious, and wonderful young woman she really is.

Balance Between the Worlds

Beaches are among the most magickal places on earth as they serve as an ever changing boundary between the world of water and the world of earth. I’ve always loved standing on the beach and letting my feet be licked by the water: sometimes the water just kisses my toes and a few waves later it splashes my knees. It’s a magickal place that’s not quite earth and not quite water.
We went to Illinois Beach State Park today for Caitlin’s birthday and the beach was wild and deserted: a place of beauty and mystery. We walked over the dunes to where giant glacers had moved the earth herself to create rock creations. The earth isn’t done changing though as these rock creations are now being licked smooth by the waters of Lake Michigan. The rocks are uneven and create crevices where water pools as the tide washes in and out.
Caitlin ran and danced with the waves running into the shallow waves, then stepping back as the waves came higher and higher. She laughed and played and I grew nervous as she walked deeper into the water and started to call her back, but then she pulled herself back and sat on the damp sand in the land between the earth and water. She crossed her legs, stilled herself and became the picture of calm as she stared out at the boats on the water.
Feeling uneasy about her being so close to the water, I wouldn’t let myself relax until my husband came over and perched on the pier above both of us, sitting like a silent sentinal. I knew that once he was there I could relax as he would watch out for both of us. I found myself a niche in the water smoothed rocks where I could dangle my feet in the water and I let myself feel the waves kiss my toes and the sun kiss the back of my neck and I let the tension flow out of my body and be watched away by the waves.
Looking out at the lake, I could see the sun reflecting off the blue water and colorful sailboats skimming across the waves. Life felt uncomplicated as if all that mattered where the elements of sun, surf, and sand. The deep sense of calm I felt driving home is something I will strive to recapture on days when life seems hectic, rushed, and way too complicated.

Seventeen Blissful Memories

Seventeen years ago I gave birth to a beautiful little girl at Camp Lester Naval Hospital on the island of Okinawa. The past seventeen years have been filled with joy, knowledge, love, and laughter. There’ve been a few tears and a little anger along the way, but mostly lots of love. One of our traditions is that on our kids’ birthdays we go around the room and each give a memory of the birthday child. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re bittersweet, but they’re all wonderful memories of a beautiful child. Here are seventeen of my favorite memories:

We were flooded with beautiful little dresses when Caitlin was born and there was no way that Caitlin would be able to wear them all before she outgrew them, so one afternoon we laid her dad’s bathrobe on the floor and had a “Caitie Fashion Show” with her modeling all of her clothes for the camera. She was an amazingly good baby and never even cried as we changed her in and out of her outfits.

We moved home when Caitlin was six months old and her grandparents were so excited to see her that they were waiting for us at the airport. They fell in love with the little blue eyed imp immediately and have grown to love her even more a the years have passed.

When Caitlin was three she went through a phase where she wouldn’t wear jeans because they were too “wiggly.” The only pants that she would wear were skinny pants and she always looked adorable in them.

We took Caitlin to Six Flags for her third birthday and she had a blast seeing Bugs Bunny, riding the kiddie rides, and eating lots of junk food. However, our sweet little girl turned into a screaming tyrant when we tried to take her on the water ride fully clothed. She insisted that she had to change into her bathing suit before she could go on a water ride. As soon as we put her into her swim suit, she was fine.

When Caitlin was about four and her brother was really sick in bed, we told her that she should go and cheer up her brother. A few minutes later, we heard this sweet little voice going “Go Sean Go” as she cheered up her brother.

Caitlin was the apple of her grandfather’s eye and he loved having her come out and spend time with him. They spent hours along the river watching for eagles and I am forever grateful that she truly got to know her grandfather.

Caitlin and I spent a week in Georgia when she was fifteen and she got to see the ocean for the first time. Even though it was March and not really warm enough to swim, she stripped down to her bikini and went and frolicked in the ocean.

I participated in the Illinois Author’s Book Fair a few years ago and Caitlin wanted to help out so she charmed the people running the book fair into letting her be a runner for the fair. She was responsible for running errands, getting people water, or any other odd jobs that needed to be done. She charmed all the authors and I ended up getting books autographed to “Caitlin’s mom.”

When I woke up the morning of Caitlin’s fifteenth birthday, she’d written in lipstick on the bathroom mirror: “Mom, thank you for giving me life. I Love you. Caitlin.” That was the sweetest thing I’ve ever had done for me.

One Halloween, Caitlin was a beautiful fairy princess. She’d gotten a blue leotard with sparkles on it as part of a ballerina kit and I made a beautiful blue skirt for her and she looked adorable. We completed the ensemble by having her brother be her knight in shining armor.

Caitlin has grown into a beautiful and accomplished young woman and she sometimes tries to hide her accomplishments from us, but this year she was the Student of the Quarter in English, won debate trophies, and awards for the newspaper. She did an outstanding job in her junior year and I’m very proud of her.

Caitlin and I drove her older brother out to Washington, DC two years ago and on the way back we had a great time talking and driving through the mountains. It was wonderful to just get to spend quality time with her. We stopped at a grocery store to buy some food and I’d locked the car and she accidentally locked the keys in the trunk. Thank god for Onstar. They were able to unlock our car remotely so we could get back on the road.

First jobs are always momentous and Caitlin got her first job last fall at a bakery in Arlington Heights. She makes me so proud because she is so responsible about always getting to work on time and making sure she gets herself to work even when it is raining out and she doesn’t have a ride. She is also very responsible with her money and is good about spending her own money for treats she wants.

Caitlin’s fifth birthday she had a “Blue’s Clues” birthday and her dad made her a pin the ear on Blue game. She was so proud that she had this cool game that her dad had actually made for her.

Animals love Caitlin. Every time we go to the zoo, all the animals come up to the fence/glass to stare at her and they will follow her as far as their cages will allow. Once we went to the Lincoln Park zoo and a harbor seal we named Turner came up and spent at least five minutes just staring at Caitlin.

We went to see the movie Madeline when Caitlin was six and she had to have a Madeline haircut. So as soon as the movie was over, we went to the salon and got her a Madeline haircut.

Caitlin a 17 year old unwed mother of five children, at least that’s what she sometimes tries to tell people. The truth of the matter is that she is a very good mother to her five critters. She has two birds, two hamsters, and a guinea pig. She loves her “kids” and she does a great job taking care of them.

Love you kiddo! Happy Birthday!