Category: majors

Judgement

Initial Impressions:  The people are naked and although it is supposed to be a family, they all seem very young.  The cloud by the angel is pink.  The people seem to be waving to the angel.  I don’t know if they are just saying hi or if there is more to it than that.  This card is about a reckoning and reawakening.

Book:  Awakening, realization, rebirth, call to change, and decision making.

Guidance:  Listen to your heart

Journaling

Awakening is an odd theme for the day.  I was so exhausted yesterday that I could barely keep my eyes open.  This job is getting more and more physically wearing and I’m not sure how much longer I can continue to push myself like this.  There is a large part of me that wants to get a job in town, but I’m kind of afraid of what that would look like.  I think I need to do some research and see if I could make that work.

December 22, 2017

It’s been over a year since I originally wrote that and I’ve switched jobs, but am still traveling.  I’m feeling somewhat better than I did then and am not as exhausted all the time.  However, I’ve also realized that I really need to pay attention to my physical health and be cognizant of when it is getting to be too much or me and step back.  I don’t always do a great job of that, but it’s a lesson I do need to learn.

Death (Reversed)

Death
Hanson Roberts

First Impressions:  Kings, women, and children lay before him.  We all succumb to death in the end.  He is clad in armor decorated with skulls showing he cannot be stopped.  The sun is setting in the background showing the sunset of life.  Reversed this card can indicate someone who is stuck and unwilling to move on.

Book:  Strong sense of inertia.  Feeling that nothing has been accomplished.  Stay with it as there is more to learn. Avoidance of or fear of change.

Guidance:  Remove the blockage to transition.  Let go and move on.  Pray and meditate.

Journaling:

Death reversed pretty much sums up where I’m at today.  I’m feeling stuck, helpless, and depressed.  I feel as if I will never move forward and never have the love I want in my life.  I am such a white picket fence girl.  I am all about hearth and home and none of this stuff at work is really important to me.  All I really want to do is come home to someone who loves me.

December 23, 2017

I still really want to have someone in my life who loves me to come home to.  I know the kids love me, but I want that one person who is always there for me.  Despite all that I’ve been through, I still believe in love and happily every after.  However, one thing I have learned in the last year is that work does have meaning for me and I do enjoy it and take a sense of pride in what I do.  I’m also realizing how important it is to have gratitude for what we do have in our lives.  I may want to have someone, but I do appreciate having my kids, a home to live in, and a job that pays me well.  Even though I want love, it doesn’t mean I should trash the things that I do have in my life.

The World

The World
Gaian Tarot

Book:  All should be well, Best of all possible cards, Wholeness, integration of spiritual, emotional, and physical lives, a major stage of your life is complete, A new phase should start soon, Remembering your birthright as a child of heaven and earth.

Journaling:

I’m not exactly sure what was going on that I ended up with three cards for the day, but I believe that nothing happens by accident so I’ll go with it.  The World is about wholeness and completion about about being at one with the universe.  It is a card that is about being pregnant with possibilities.

This card gives me a sense of completion and it feels as if one phase of my life is ending and another is just beginning.  It feels as if I am ready to move on and to recognize my own worth.  I don’t need to prove myself anymore.  I know my worth and the value that I bring to the table. 

I wonder if this is about my job situation as I’m ready to move on and to have a more settled life. 

May 8, 2016

World, completion, fulfillment, being whole, knowing my place in the world, accepting life’s gifts

December 25, 2016

What truly struck me as I was reading through this was the phrase “accepting life’s gifts.”  That’s where I’ve been at lately as I’ve been working hard to accept and appreciate all the wondrous things that life has to offer and when I start to complain about something, I refocus myself and remind myself about all the good stuff that comes my way.  When I complain about my kitchen, I remind myself about how amazing my house is.  When I complain about work, I remind myself that I have a job.  Sometimes it’s difficult to do this as it feels unnatural, but I just keep reminding myself that every skill we ever learn feels unnatural at some point in time.  The trick is to keep at it and eventually it will start feeling less strange.

Death

Death
Gaian Tarot

Journaling:

At first glance this is about all the things I’ve lost in my life.  It is about letting go of illusions.  It is about grieving and moving on.  We need to let go of these things that no longer serve us.  Release that which no longer your best interest to create the space for new beginnings.  Where am I holding on to that which no longer serves me:

  • The belief that I will live happily ever after with a certain someone
  • My anger over John’s betrayal
  • Playing the strong survivor
  • Playing the victim
  • The expectation that John will ever grow up
  • The belief that I am unlovable
  • The belief that I’m not strong enough
Letting go of all these limiting beliefs will help me to live a beautiful and amazing life.

December 24, 2017
It is amazing as I head into 2018 to look back and realize how much I’ve grown and how much I truly have let go of.  I am starting to truly realize how strong and amazing that I am and that I don’t need to play either the victim or the survivor.  I just need to be me.  I’m not perfect and there are things I could do better, but overall I’ve realized that I am the only person I really have who will always be here for me so it behooves me to be nice to myself.
Beating myself up and talking down to myself is not and has never been productive.  All it has done has lead me to not like myself and to continue to put other people first.  I need to let go of all of the negativity and realize how truly amazing I am.