family – Page 3 – Cairn by Cairn

Familiary New Bliss

The leaves are turning, the days are getting shorter, and the temperature is dropping, in other words, it’s autumn. You’d think that after forty some years on the planet, I’d be used to the turning of the wheel of the year and wouldn’t get so excited about the chill in the air and the bouquets of leaves, but no, I’m just as excited about fall this year as ever.

Despite the similarities, each year the fall is slightly different: the leaves turn sooner or later, the colors are more or less brilliant, the weather is warmer or cooler. In many years, the return of autumn is like visiting an old friend that you haven’t seen in awhile: the subtle differences accentuate the familiarity. Autumn is a scientific process, but all the variables combine to make each fall blissfully different.

It’s not only the leaves and weather that are different each year either, we’re different because we’re at different places in our lives. Marriage, divorce, job changes, kids born, kids gone to college, parents moved away or passed away. As I look back through the Halloween pictures of past years, I remember where we were and realize how far we’ve come. There’s the earliest photos of Caitlin as Barney the dinosaur, Sean as a pirate (this was before he discovered Batman) through the years of Sean as Batman and Caitlin as a mummy and a hippy alien. Then there was the year that Sean bucked tradition and wore a Cubs outfit his dad had crafted for him.

The costumes aren’t the only things that change, this is the first autumn that Sean’s not living at home, although he’s just a train ride away in downtown Chicago. Caitlin’s a senior in High School and learning to drive. I’m not traveling this year so I’m home to enjoy all the autumnal festivities and John’s discovered an online game and is making plans for his own personal vacation, his first trip alone in all the years we’ve been married.

All the changes in our life aren’t positive. This is the first year in quite a few years that when Halloween rolls around a family members name will top our annual “Dead List.” My father passed away last Thanksgiving and it’s hard to realize that it’s been almost a year since he’s gone. The world has also lost a few shining luminaries this year: Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, and more. As I work to compile the Dead List in the next few weeks, I’ll remember again how many talented people the world has lost.

However, with loss comes gain and just have talented people have lost their lives, babies have been born, kids have graduated from high school or college, and we’ve celebrated victories both national and personal. The turning of the wheel is always different, always personal, yet always familiarly blissful.

Accepting Bliss

I asked the gods to help me find my bliss, but when it came to me and wasn’t neatly packaged exactly the way I was expecting, I got cranky and complained constantly about exactly how it came into my life instead of accepting the bliss I’d been gifted with.

My life was out of balance and there wasn’t a whole lot of bliss for a few years as I was juggling travel, two kids, too much work, and not enough time to do the stuff I really want to do. I knew I needed bliss and balance, but wasn’t making much of an effort to get it.

Our company embarked on a major initiative in March and there was a piece of the program I really wanted to manage, but instead of letting me take it and run with it, my management team decided to bring in a decidedly less qualified consultant (the opinion of multiple people and not just me) due to the old boy’s network. I then ended up working for this decidedly less qualified consultant. Suffice to say this did not sit well with me and things came to a head in July and I ended up off the project and managing a less complicated project.

Unfortunately, I’ve spent way too much time since July complaining to a few key folks who I know are sympathetic about the situation, how unfair it is, how I’m better qualified, blah, blah blah. Some days, I even think I sound like a broken record and I really believe in what I’m saying. The bottom line is that my boss was wrong, I was wrong, and it is what it is. There are a lot of different ways it could have worked out differently, but I’ve been struggling to accept that it is what it is. I’ve been spending so much time focused on the negative, that I haven’t even taken the time to think about the good things the situation has brought into my life and there have been a lot:

I had an amazing four day vacation with my daughter in the south. If this hadn’t happened, I would have been half working and half vacationing and she wouldn’t have gotten the attention she deserved. As it turns out, we spent time driving through the Blue Ridge Mountains and enjoying time with each other.

I’ve gotten to spend a lot more time at home hanging out with my family because I’m not traveling so much. That means that I can get into routines, I can cook dinner at home most nights, I have time to be with the people I love.
I’m writing again and spending a lot of time working on polishing two books that have been sitting in my virtual drawer for a while languishing because I haven’t had time to work on them. I’m also working on a script about finding bliss (gee I wonder where I got the inspiration for that). It is amazing how blissful finding time to work on my passion really makes me.
I’ve got time to read brain candy and just spend time chilling out on the sofa with a cold drink and a good book.
I’ve been making the time to exercise most days. I take time to go for a walk with the dog or by myself. I’ve been feeling a lot better since I’ve been making exercise a priority.
My house is getting cleaner. Granted I still have my moments, but I’ve been trying to get organized, get rid of clutter, and get into cleaning routines so the housework doesn’t get so overwhelming.

I’ve been getting craftier. I got some pure Shea butter at the Maxwell Street Flea Market a few weeks ago and made some body butter with Triple Goddess Oil. It smelled heavenly and felt so good. It also felt good to know I’d mixed it myself. I also made a mosaic tray and one of these days I’m going to start crocheting again.
I’m learning about the infrastructure side of the house. I’ve always been an “apps girl” who really didn’t care about all those mysterious boxes that made the programs I love run. But now, I’m learning about servers, virtualization, and the stuff under the hood of IT.

I’m spending more time with my son. Last year, I would just go and get him and bring him home. This year, I’m taking time to spend time with him downtown in the environment he’s chosen as his own. I’m also taking time to really listen to him and understand why he loves it so much.
I’m learning how to play the corporate game. One of my friends who has spent hours listening to me whine and complain, pointed out to me multiple times that I needed to look for the positive and I needed to learn from the situation. Unfortnuately, I was so caught up in wanting to get my own way that I didn’t take the time to really listen and to be objective about the situation and what positives could come out of it. Although, I have to say I don’t like the corporate game and probably never will, but knowing the roles helps.

The world works in mysterious ways sometimes and when I stood in the rain in China and asked the heavens to help me find my bliss, I could have never known the twists and turns life would take to get me to a place where I have more bliss in my life. Chances are I will never agree that the decisions made that landed me where I am were right, I did end up in the right place.

Enough Bliss

Despite living in the relatively affluent Northwest Suburbs of Chicago, there are still homeless people living in our community. I saw one on my way to work this morning and it got me thinking about the more, more, more culture that we live in. No one ever believes that they have enough money, a big enough house, an expensive enough car. However, we live in a culture where we have more money and more experiences that almost any culture on earth so the facts about what we really have, don’t match up with our group perception.

I have to admit that there are days when I believe my life would be perfect if I had a better job, more money, etc. etc. However, as I passed that homeless gentleman this morning, it got me thinking that I really do have enough. My basic needs are met and then some: I have beautiful house that provides shelter, we always have food in the fridge, I have clothes to wear, I have a wonderful family, and a great dog.

Looking at the reality of my life, I realized that I’ve bought into the culture myth that climbing the corporate ladder and getting a better job with more status is the be all and end all. Unfortunately, that type of success comes at a price because we are all given but one life to live and and time is not an expandable substance so the more time you spend at work, the less time you have to spend on something else. Despite the undeniable truth that more work doesn’t equal more happiness, our culture values upper mobility and it seems that people who deliberately choose to step back and pursue balance instead of career success are not always appreciated.

I’ve been working through the exercises in Waverly Fitzgerald’s Slow Time and it has opened my eyes to a different way of living. Every time there is a question about how I will spend my time, I remind myself that this is my only life and I ask myself if this is really the best way for me to spend my life. I remind myself that life is a series of trade offs and the more time that I spend at work, the less time there is to spend taking my kids to cool places or spending time enjoying the great people they’ve become. More time at work means less time to write. More time at work means less time for the things that are really important to me.

My life has changed a lot since I started asking reminding myself that this is my one and only life. I’ve started exercising more, seeing a chiropractor to work out the kinks in my back, and spending time cooking real food instead of eating the cardboard junk you buy at the drive through.

There’s no way that I could even begin to claim that I’m perfect and there are still days when I’m running late because I got sucked into work, but overall my life is a little more balanced and I’m a lot more blissful. So here’s to the bliss of enough.

Momma’s Bliss

Today’s my mom’s birthday and it’s the first one she’s celebrated without my dad since she was sixteen years old. As a child, I idolized my dad and didn’t really pay attention to the sacrifices my mom made to make sure we had what we needed and I never really appreciated her until I became a parent myself. As I look at who I am today, I realize that a lot of my strength, my grit, and my backbone, came from my mom and that I wouldn’t be who I am without the lessons I learned at her knee. My mom provided the stability in my life that let me take chances and learn to soar. Here are some of the lessons I learned from my mom:

Support those you love—My mom met my dad when she was 16 years old and he was 27. They got married when she was just 19 and they enjoyed a long and loving life together. I’m always thrilled when I look through the family photos to see the look of love in both of their eyes when they look at each other. My mom supported my dad through thick and thin and she was always there for him. She made trips to see his mamma at the holidays, even when she would have rather stayed home. She made sure my college tuition was paid, even if she had to sacrifice to do so and she made sure I got an extra 20 bucks once in a while to buy pizza with.

Be there for the people that matter—My mom was always there for her family and she made sure my dad showed up too, even when he would have rather stayed home. For their 25th Anniversary, my brother and I held a surprise party for them and, unfortunately, my aunt ruined the surprise by calling my mom the day before to apologize for not being able to make the party. My mom told my dad and he got all cranky and wasn’t going to go because he didn’t want to get dressed up. My mom knew the love and effort that we’d put into the party so she managed to drag him along because she didn’t want to let us down. The funny thing is that once my dad got there and saw all the people that had shown up to show their love and affection, he turned into the life of the party and you never would have known that he had to be dragged to the party.

Don’t diss those you love—I’m sure my parents had their share of ups and downs during their marriage, but I never once remember hearing them fight. It was only when I grew up that my mom shared some of her frustrations with my dad with me.

Make do with what you have—My mom grew up in a poor farm family and she carried the lessons of making do and being creative with what you had with her. We lived in a small two bedroom house when I was growing up and my brother and I had to share a bedroom. My mom rearranged the room so that my brother’s bed was in the closet and my side of the room was partioned off with a dresser. As a kid, that never bothered me and I always felt like I had my own space. Looking back, I view it as just another way that my mom was creative with what she had available to her. And in later years it inspired endless jokes about Tony coming out of the closet.

Be strong—My dad had several heart attacks when I was a child and looking back, I can imagine how terrified my mom must have been at the thought of being left a widow with two small kids. However, she never showed her fear and she always made going to visit dad in the hospital a big adventure. What I remember about those times was not being afraid that dad was going to die, but going to visit him in the cool old-fashioned waiting room at Geneva hospital and eating in the cafeteria at the hospital downtown. Another example of my mother’s strength of character was when my thirteen year-old cousin, her nephew, was killed in a farming accident on her birthday. Despite the heartbreaking anguish I’m sure she was feeling, she managed to stay strong and to explain the situation to my brother and I in terms we could understand and she made sure that we felt safe. I also admired my mother tremendously in my father’s last days on earth where she made sure he never saw her crying and where she camped out in a van at the hospital for days at a time so she was close to him.

Respect your elders—From an early age, my mom instilled in my brother and I a respect for our elders. We were taught to call people Sir and Ma’am, to open the door for older people, and to help them however we could. We were also encouraged to learn from our elders and to listen to their experiences to help us shape our own lives.

Experience Life—My mom has always encouraged me to experience life and to take all the opportunities that have come my way. We moved to Okinawa when Sean, her only grandchild at the time, was six months old and I know it had to be difficult for her, but she encouraged me to take the opportunity to enjoy it. She’s always thrilled when I get the opportunity to travel overseas and relishes the photos and trinkets I bring back.

Encourage dreams—Writing is in my blood and my mother has always encouraged me to pursue my dreams of writing. She has autographed copies of both my books, she reads my blog religiously, and she always encourages me to go for it. My mom has also demonstrated her willingness to follow her dreams by taking an art class and getting involved in organizations that are important to her.

Family matters –My mother’s family was dysfunctional to put it kindly. Her grandfather was a nasty old coot who was just plain mean. Her mother could be charming or mean depending upon her mood. However, my mother made sure that we knew who her family was and that we showed them respect. My mother always made sure that we attended family gatherings and that we spent time with our cousins and extended relations on both sides.

Do the Right Thing—My mother always taught me and my brother to do the right thing no matter what. That included being honest if someone had given us too much change and living up to our obligations no matter how difficult. My grandmother lived in a nursing home close to my mom for the last few years of her life and my mom always made sure she was taken care of. Although, there were a lot of times when I questioned my mother’s sanity for taking care of her after how horrible my grandmother had been to her, I admired her devotion. It was only later that my mom told me that she wasn’t taking care of her mother because she felt her mom deserved her devotion, it was because she had promised her father that she’d take care of her mother. As her dad had pointed out, my grandmother was the only mom my mom would ever have.

To your own self be true—This is the most important lesson my mamma ever taught me. She wrote in my autograph book when I was a kid to always remember to be true to myself. I struggle with that sometimes because sometimes my inner red neck comes out to play and I’m coarse and earthy and not the perfectly polished person I’d like to be. However, in my years on the planet, I’ve learned that everyone has a coarse and earthy side, most people are just too afraid of what people will think to let their inner red neck out. I’m not perfect, but you know what? That’s okay. I’m exactly the person I’m supposed to be.

I hope you have a wonderful birthday Mom. Thanks for always being there for us.

BatBliss

My son, my precious “little” batboy, turns 20 today and I cannot begin to express the incredible joy, love, and knowledge that he’s brought into my life since the day he was born. The day my Sean was born, he almost died and took me out with him. My husband, who was holding my hand and encouraging me, noticed that his heart rate had dropped dramatically in the space of a minute and once he alerted the nurses, all proverbial hell broke loose.

John was hustled out of the room and left bewildered in the corridor while a team of specialists came in to stabilize me and stop my labor since the stress of labor could have been fatal for Sean. They quickly pulled together a surgical team and rushed us into OR to do a C-section. Once it was all set up, John got to come in and hold my hand while they pulled Sean from my womb. Despite the drama, Sean was pink and perfect and healthy. We found out later that the reason his heart had dropped was that his head was too big to fit through the birth canal. Needless to say, lots of teasing about his big head has ensued every since.

Shortly after birth, or so it seemed, Sean discovered Batman and he never looked back. In the years that followed, there were Batcakes, Batsheets, and we never even had to ask Sean what he wanted to be for Halloween because the answer was always the same: Batman. Sean loves the original, the remake, and every incarnation of Batman in between. Since they “rebooted” or is that “rebatted” the franchise, Sean’s been at the first showing of every movie. Having a Batfiend for a child, means that we always know we’re safe buying him a Batpresent.

Sean’s love of Batman has sparked some interesting conversations about why Batman is better than Superman. Sean’s take is that Batman is better because he does it all without super powers. I have to give it to the kid, that’s a pretty compelling argument.

I guess I have to give Batman some credit for amazing man my son has become because Batman has taught my son some pretty meaningful life lessons over the past twenty years:

Take care of those you love–Just like Batman takes care of Alfred, Sean does his best to take care of his sister and make sure she’s safe. Although Sean spent a lot of time grumbling about it, Sean did a great job of playing chauffeur to his sister in school.

Give back–We’re not as rich as Bruce Wayne, so Sean isn’t able to give as much as Bruce does, but Sean does his part in giving blood, giving his time, and giving his money to help those less fortunate.

Stand up for what’s right–Sean’s stood up to protect his sister from bullying and he speaks out against injustice. He’s also going to school to be a lawyer so he can speak out for justice.

Overcome adversity–Thankfully Sean never had to overcome the kind of adversity that Bruce Wayne did, but he did grow up poor and he stuttered when he was younger. Sean never left those things get in his way and he kept trying and kept working for the things he wanted. Sean’s grown from a kid who stuttered, to an award winning debater.

Give it your all–Sean will be the first to admit that he doesn’t give it his all all of the time, but he does keep trying and he goes after things he wants with all of his heart. Sean wanted to be in a play when he was seven and we signed him up and he ended up with a bit part. We thought that like a lot of kids, he’d quickly tire of the small role he had and want to drop out. We were in for a shock, because Sean stuck to it and made it to every practice and every performance even when he was sick.

Never give up–One of the biggest disappointments of Sean’s life came when he was turned down for admission into the JSA Summer School Program after his junior year in high school. It was something he wanted with all of his heart. He spent a little bit of time pouting and being upset, but then he decided to buckle down and work hard on his grades so he’d get admitted the next year and he was.

My son could have a lot worse heroes than Batman and all in all, I’m pretty happy with the lessons that Batman has taught my son over the years. Have a great 20th birthday Sean and when you get home, you know there’ll be a Batgift waiting for you (and no, it’s not the Batmobile).

Love,

Mom

Ordinary Bliss

I turned down a great opportunity today in the interest of balance. I was up for an integration manager position at a huge and well known company. It would have been a decent bump in pay, the work would have been interesting, and I would have been challenged. It also would have meant traveling and living out of a suitcase three to four days a week for the next six months and a twice daily commute of 45 minutes to an hour.

Two years ago, I would have jumped at the chance. I would have told myself that the travel was only temporary and that I could suck it up and do it for six months. I would have put a positive spin on the 45 minute commute by telling myself that I could listen to books on tape and make it educational. I would have told myself that if I left work at 4:30, I’d make it home by 5:30 and still have all evening. However, I’ve been around the block enough to know that those are all lies. The travel would have ended up being longer than six months because after project A, project B would have come along and I’d have kept traveling. I rarely leave work on time so I would have ended up getting home at 6 or later ever night.

This is my life and it is the only one I get so six MORE months spent living out of a suitcase, is six more months I don’t get to be home and enjoy my family. Six months more months I’m eating out most nights. Six months more that I’m so tired and stressed out when I do get home that all I want to do is sleep. Six more months of not having a routine at home. Six more months of missing out on getting into an exercise routine. Six more wasted months of my life.

It’s only been in the last three months that I’ve started to feel like I have balance in my life and that work isn’t taking over every aspect of my life. I’ve started leaving work on time, not working at home, and spending time doing things that are important to me. I’ve been taking my daughter out to sushi almost once a week, I’ve been going downtown to have dinner with my son several times a month. I’m still working on spending more time with hubby, but I’ll get there.

I’ve been writing again, both on my blog and working on a book. I’ve started walking several times a week and I cook dinner most nights instead of eating out or grabbing fast food because I’m too tired to cook. I’ve even started enjoying cleaning house. In short, I’m appreciating the sacred and the beautiful in the every day and I’m not ready to throw my life out of balance again for a job.

My job isn’t perfect, but it’s five minutes from my house and the proximity lets me have a real life instead of a life that’s all wrapped up in work and getting ahead. My goal is to be able to work for myself one day and right now I have time to work on that dream as I have time to spend writing and putting proposals together.

Maybe this means I’m finally growing up and realizing that all the glitz, the glamour, and the money isn’t worth it if deep down you’re not living a life of balance and bliss.

Homecoming Bliss

One of the annual fall festivities is Homecoming. It’s a time when alumni come back to root on their high school or college teams one more time. It’s a time to welcome back old friends. And it’s a time to celebrate the fact that family and friends made it safely home and are here to celebrate with us. After forty some years on the planet, I’ve come to realize that every homecoming should be a time of celebration.

One Halloween when I was younger, the daughter of one of my parent’s friends was killed while she was trick or treating and the guilt and the anguish destroyed her parents. In another instance, one of our fellow church members was killed on an icy road on Christmas Eve. And in an incident that hit close to home, my cousin was killed in a farming accident on my mother’s birthday. At the time, the life altering impact of these tragedies was lost on me, but since I’ve become a parent, I cannot begin to fathom the depth of pain these families felt to have lost their loved ones.

I realize that my kids have to grow up and, hopefully, I’ve equipped them with the skills they need to make smart decisions: to not drive drunk, to not get in the car with someone who has been drinking, to not do drugs, to stay out of bad parts of town, etc.. However, as a parent, I realize that all too often all the right choices can be undone by one wrong choice made by someone else.

Having someone to come home to is one of the most blissful feelings on earth. I remember one night when I was driving home in a torrential downpour. I couldn’t even tell whether or not I had the car on the road and there was no one else on the road whose tail lights I could follow. I slowed down and prayed that I’d make it home in one piece. Walking into the door, I was greeted by a tight hug from my worried husband and the sight of white candles burning on the table as a prayer for my safe return. I never felt more loved and cared for than I did at that moment.

Next time you drop your kids off at school or your husband off at the train, take a moment to tell them you love them and when you’re reunited make sure they know how much they matter to you. Remember, every night there are families out there who sent their loved ones off to ordinary activities, who don’t get another chance to tell them how much they matter.

Bowl of Bliss

Families are made and not born.

The smell of oil and vinegar always reminds me of Grandma Elda because no matter what was for dinner we always had salad with oil and vinegar served in a wooden salad bowl. Some days the salad was leaf lettuce with tomatoes and other day’s dandelion greens but the dressing was always oil and vinegar with garlic and oregano thrown in for good measure. I loved helping fix the salad. I’d pull the bowl down from the shelf and inhale deeply to catch the faint smell of salads past.

Elda was my grandmother by love and not by blood. My mother and her daughter in-law were friends and she became my babysitter when I was six months old. She diapered my bottom, dried my tears, and taught me to love homemade spaghetti sauce and tomatoes. Grandma lived about six blocks from our house and some days when I was supposed to go home, I managed to “forget” and wangled an invitation to Grandma’s house for dinner. There was always room for one more around her dinner table and I ate countless meals with Grandma Elda, Grandpa Tony, their son George, his wife Joan, and their two daughters Vicki and Joyce who considered themselves my big sisters.

Summer was the best times to be at Grandma’s because during the summer her beautiful gardens were in full bloom and all manners of goodies came from her garden. At Grandma’s I learned to love fresh lettuce, tomatoes straight from the vine, and green beans. During the fall, marathon-canning sessions would take place when Grandma made homemade spaghetti sauce and all manners of jams and jellies.

From the time I could eat cake until my sophomore year of college when Grandma got too sick to bake, I’d always have an angel food cake for my birthday. Nothing ever tasted as good as that cake I watched her painstakingly bake and turn upside down on a soda bottle to cool. When it was ready to be frosted, she’d cut off the crusty parts of the bottom and let me have a taste and then she’d frost it with buttercream icing.

I’ll never forget Grandpa Tony’s funeral. I was ten and I didn’t exactly understand what it was like for Grandma to lose the love of her life but I do remember that after coming home from Grandpa’s burial, Grandma cooked a huge turkey dinner and made sure that everyone was served and satisfied.

Grandma died ten years ago and not a day goes by that I don’t think about her. I inherited the yellow tupperware juice glasses that I drank orange juice out of as a child and serving my two children orange juice out of them makes me think of Grandma. I think of her every time I start to complain about how menial housework is because she always did the most menial of tasks cheerfully. From her example, I know that being loved and loving others is more important than how much money you make or what you do for a living.

Bliss List

The amount of wonderful writing on the Web is amazing as I’m realizing that Blogging has truly changed the face of communication. All of these writers whose work wouldn’t find a home at a big publishing house now have an outlet where they can reach out and touch readers without a middleman. One of the amazing posts I read just this morning was Jonathon Field’s post on Lies, Damn Lies, and Follower Counts what really matters. This amazing post made me realize what’s important in life and inspired me to create my own list of what matters in my life.

I care about laughing and giggling and having a good time with people I care about.
I care about pulling into my driveway and seeing my dog standing there wagging his tail.
I care about the smile on my husband’s face when he thinks our kids aren’t watching him.I care about paying homage to my parents by being the best person I can be.
I care about doing my best and earning my pay.
I care about being innovative and leaving the world better than I found it.
I care about the tangy zing of vinegar and the rich heaviness of olive oil drizzled on cucumbers, tomatoes, and feta cheese; the scent and taste transporting me back to my childhood.
I care about my daughter’s smile when she comes out of school and sees me waiting for her.
I care about my son’s hug as he climbs on the train and heads back to school
I care about my mother’s happiness when she calls to tell me that she’s having a good day and that she read my blog and really enjoyed it.
I care about bringing in an armful of wood on a cold winter day, lighting a fire in my fireplace, and snuggling with my husband in front of the fire.
I care about the crisp crunch of autumn leaves under my feet as I go for a walk.
I care about the warm sun on my face as I sit on the beach and listen to the waves lap against the sand.
I care about the world I’ll leave my children and taking care to make sure I leave it a little better than I found it.

Those are the things that matter in life, the things I cherish, and the things that will make a difference.

Blissful Thinking

I’ve got the blues lately and not the kind you sing about. I work for an incredibly dysfunctional company and my department is among the worst of the worst in terms of insanity. However, this post is supposed to be about bliss and not the blues, so one of the things that I like to do when I’m having a bad day is create a list of things that are good in my life and things that mean something as a reminder that life isn’t as dark as it sometimes seems. In no particular order:

I’m grateful I grew up in a warm and loving family and that my parents sacrificed to send me to college.
I’m grateful that I met and married a terrific guy who for all our ups and downs, I still love and who gave up something important to him because the trolls were attacking me.
I’m grateful that I had a dad who passed his love for animals down to me because animals have brought so much joy into my life.

I’m grateful that I have a beautiful daughter who is smart and intelligent and able to speak her own mind.

I’m grateful that I have a strong and handsome son who is smart and going to be an awesome lawyer.
I’m grateful I have a beautiful home in a nice, safe, neighborhood.
I’m grateful I’m creative and able to apply my creativity in a number of different ways.
I’m grateful that I have a beautiful and sweet dog who loves me and brings me so much joy.
I’m grateful that I have a fireplace so we can have fires to keep us toasty warm on cold winter days.

I’m grateful for all the experiences I’ve been able to have like traveling to China and Europe.

I’m grateful that I’m earning a paycheck and that my job is five minutes from my house.

I’m grateful for the all the utilities that keep my house warm, give me water to take a shower and wash my clothes, and give me light to read by.

I’m grateful that I’m literate and can read and educate myself by learning from people who have been there before me.
I’m grateful for the Internet that lets me reach out and connect with people I love and lets me learn and stay up to date.

I’m grateful for bad bosses and rotten coworkers because by seeing their bad behavior, it helps me to learn what not to do.

I’m grateful for the people at work who do believe in me and believe that I’m better than all the BS swirling around me. (that is a totally yucky metaphor, but you get the picture)

I’m grateful that things always do change and that eventually things will get better.

I’m grateful for my friends who remind me not to dwell on the nastiness.

I’m grateful my mom is still healthy and enjoying her life.

I’m grateful I’m able to afford to put my kids through college.

I’m grateful I have skills that are marketable.

I”m grateful I live in a free country.

I’m sure there are a lot of things that I forgot, but just writing down the things I’m grateful for will help me have a better day.