Category: Dancer Four

Shadow Work–Day 22

At this point, what have I learned about my shadow and relationships?

Warrior Ten tells me that I cannot carry the entire weight of a relationship on my own shoulders.  There is a give and take.  I need to let go of my need to “buy affection” or to do more of my fair share of the work so that people will like me.  I need to hold people accountable in both work and personal settings.  That’s hard for me to do because I am a people pleaser, but other people have to own their actions and have to own their responsibilities in friendships, in family relationships, and in other relationships.  Part of this is choosing to value myself and choosing to say that if I value myself, I cam not going to carry the burden of always being the one to contact people.  If someone values me and considers me their friend, they need to share the burden of connecting.  If someone does not share the burden of connecting, that tells me that I am a friend of convenience and that I don’t really matter to the other person.  And that includes X!  He never reaches out and I’m tired of being the one to maintain our friendship.

Dancer Four tells me that it is not all about me.  I need to get out of my own head and look around me and start forming relationships with people around me.  I do spend a lot of time living in my head, not from a vanity perspective, but from a perspective of being wrapped up in my own world and tuning out what is going on around me.  Cam calls me on that all the time because I am just so wrapped up in my own things that I just don’t pay attention.

The Maker card reiterates what Warrior Ten tells me, I cannot be all things to all people in a relationship.  I have to be comfortable being my own shining star and letting other people be their own shining stars.  I also cannot be all things to all people and I have to accept that.  People who want to use me should not be in my life.  I also have to do a better job of drawing boundaries around time with my family, especially C’s demands.

Shadow Work–Day 8

How does my shadow react when I am untrusting?



The fool jumps off a cliff when I am untrusting as if pushing me to trust, trust, trust.  I also find that when I am untrusting, I am put in situations where I have no choice but to trust.  That is pretty true for me as I took a new job last year doing organizational change management, but while we are selling OCM, I have to be billable so I have been doing project management work for the last year and that has been incredibly hard for me because I do not have the skills to do all the work myself and I have had to trust my team to do the work for me.  Although there have been a few bumps along the way, ultimately the team delivered.

Dancer Four tells me that when I am untrusting, I start to spend too much time looking inward and examining my own soul without liking what I find.  When I am untrusting, I start to see everyone else as other instead of seeing our similarities.  Dreamer Four also tells me that when I an untrusting, I don’t see the help that is all around me and I reject people. 

When I am untrusting of the world at large, I will often find one or two people that I do trust and become obsessive with them.  Dancer Prince speaks of this obsession as he peers fearfully from behind the tree and watches the world as if it is a dark and scary place.  Being untrusting means that I am coming from a place of fear and I divide the world into “Us and Them.” 

All in all, my shadow starts indulging in bad and fearful behavior as a reminder that I need to open my heart once again.  I have to be honest and say that I am so flipping sick of hearing that I need to open my heart.  It seems that the cards tell me that constantly to the point I just don’t want to hear it anymore.