Category: Daily Draw

Five of Earth

First Impressions: I love this little shelter in the woods.  It makes me feel protected, safe, and being at peace with myself.  It makes me think of someone holding space for me.

Book:  You are dealing with stress at a survival level, most likely your health or finances. 

Guidance:  Tuck into yourself and know that you are safe and protected.  Know that there are people looking out for you even if it doesn’t seem like it.

Journaling

It is so interesting that I drew this card because I saw, journeyed to a similar structure when I was meditating and I was cocooned in a little womblike structure.  I felt safe and secure and there were people holding space for me.  While I was in this space, there was someone standing guard outside so I would not be interrupted.  I was totally secure.

I’m not truly in a true crisis mode right now, but my mind has created a crisis.  I am employed, I”m working on my health, but I do need to feel safe and secure and I’m not sure what the best way to do that is. I have the skills to survive most crises and I’ve gotten better about not creating crisis any more.

February 4, 2018

What I find so interesting in retrospect is that I pulled the five of earth, which is about pulling back my energy and being in survival mode immediately after I pulled the three of fire which is all about being out there and living out loud.  It is almost as if the thought of living out loud scared me and I had to pull back in my hermit shell.  It is also a good metaphor for where I’m at right now because my mind is coming up for all sorts of excuses as to why I don’t want to go to the tarot conference.  My brain is telling me that I won’t like it, that everyone will be cliquish, etc. 

I realize that I have gotten much worse about not wanting to go places since I’ve been divorced. I don’t think I truly realized how much John damaged my soul  and made me afraid to meet and interact with people.  He was so mean and horrible to me that now I am afraid to meet people.  I’m terrified that people will treat me like he did.  I need to let go of that because he is a horrible person and how he treated me was always more about him than it was about me.

Three of Fire

First Impressions:  I love this card as she dances with the fire orbs.  One of the things I love most about her is that she is not a size 2.  She looks like a real woman who is happy, excited, and her own person.  I feel passion, happiness, and self-control in this card.  The three words I get are being, doing, dancing.

Book:  Blazing with personal power and passion

Guidance:  Be on fire with creativity, sexuality, and self empowerment.  Don’t let anything hold you back.  Be proud of who you are and what you can and have accomplished.  Be open to wherever life takes you.

Journaling:

Dancing, being joyous, comfortable in my own skin.  I am a woman who knows what she wants and goes for it.  What a wonderful card to draw for Beltane, the first fire festival.  I did feel comfortable in my own skin today.  I was happy being at home and I felt as if life was truly flowing.  I choose to express myself joyously and wonderfully.

February 4, 2018

I’ve decided that this card is my talisman for the year.  I love how she is big and bold and not afraid to be who she is.  I sometimes feel so mousy and as if I am invisible to everyone.  Sometimes it feels as if I tried so hard to be pretty and noticed, but no one noticed me so I’ve gone back to being in the background and in the shadows.

However, the truth of the matter is that no matter how I dress, I do like to be invisible.  Being visible means i have to interact with people and I have to have conversations.  Those things are really uncomfortable for me.  I’m already trying to figure out how to get out of going to the Tarot Conference and at the end of the day it is fear that has me making up excuses.  There is no real reason that I have for not going.  I’m just afraid of interacting with people.  I’m afraid that people won’t like me.  I’m afraid that people will make fun of me. 

Raine–You will be taken care of and you will be loved.  Just trust.  It is all going to be wonderful.

Three of Fire

Three of Fire
Gaian Tarot

First Impressions:  I love this card as it is so full of expression and passion.  This card is about passion, controlling the flames, happiness, self control, and dancing.    When I look at this card, I think about being joyous, it is about being comfortable in my own skin.  I am a woman who knows what she wants.

Book:  On fire with the joy of creativity, sexuality, and self empowerment.  Life is flowing and nothing can hold you back.  Be proud of all you are and all that you have accomplished.

Journaling:

What a wonderful card to draw for Beltane, the first fire festival.  I do feel comfortable in my own skin.  I’m having a wonderful day being home and as if life is flowing.

I express my joy and passion openly.

January 2, 2018

I love this card!  It is one of my all time favorite tarot cards as she has such beauty and exuberance.  This card makes me think about picking myself up and doing what needs to be done as I face life head on.

Child of Earth

Child of Earth
Gaian Tarot

First Impressions:  This card is a card of innocence.  I love how big the apple is compared to the child’s hands and how he looks so studious.  This card makes me think of intensity, protection, a child’s heart, contemplation, innocence, and being aware

Journaling:

Exploring the earth, happiness, being attuned to my intuition and divine wisdom and knowing in my soul what makes me happy.  Letting go of pretenses.  I know what would make me happy:  coming home every night.

May 8, 2016

This card is about exploring, but it is also about innocence and trusting the universe to provide.  Maybe I need to trust the universe to provide what I need and to quit trying to control everything.

January 2, 2018

As I reflect on the almost two years since I pulled this card, I’m realizing that the message was to get tuned into earth and to let go of all the crap that has built up in my soul and is keeping me separated from my intuition and from my innocence.  It is innocence that helps us reclaim our connection to the divine by eliminating all the doubts and fears that keep us from believing that there is something bigger than ourselves out there.  When we are able to let go of that fear and find the happiness within our soul, we can find that divine spark within ourselves and within others.

Six of Air (Reversed)

Six of Air
Gaian Tarot

Journaling:

There is sadness where there should be tremendous joy.  I am at a time in my life where there is a tremendous potential for joy, but I’m feeling depleted and isolated.  I’m feeling tremendously alone.  The book suggest that I’m finding it hard to find anything to be grateful for and my mind is foggy and confused.  This is all so true as I’m finding it difficult to be grateful.  I am so focused on the negative aspects of my job that I’m forgetting that I have a lot to be grateful for and have a lot of blessings in my life.  I’m also trapped in a place of fear that is not suiting me well at all.

I need to work to turn this around and to greet the new day with a song of gratitude.  I have so much to be grateful for:

  • I have a job that pays the bills
  • I have a beautiful home
  • I have kids that are smart and nice
  • I have opportunities
  • I have money in the bank
  • I’m reducing my blood sugar
  • I’m starting to eat more healthy foods
December 25, 2017
I’m realizing that these entries were the start of turning things around because even though I started out talking about my sadness and loneliness, I was able to get myself back to a place of gratitude.  I never truly understood when people said you had a choice about your attitude and your emotions.  I always just thought that your emotions were kind of like the weather and that you just had to deal with them.  However, I have started to realize that I can change my emotions and I can choose to be happy.  I can also choose to feel each and every emotion and acknowledge them.  I think acknowledging the difficult emotions is key.  I don’t have to act super happy if I’m grieving, but I can acknowledge the grief and also acknowledge the gratitude.

Explorer of Earth (Reversed)

Explorer of Earth
Gaian Tarot

Impressions:  Ungrounded, disconnected, not paying attention, not protected

Journaling:

I feel unbalanced and ungrounded as if I was being buried instead of supported.  I feel disconnected and uprooted.  I long for roots and a strong support system, but I feel my efforts to get that strong support system constantly fail.  Is this about a lack of trust in the earth?  Do I feel as if I can’t trust the gods to have my back even though they have shown time and time again that I am taken care of and that they do have my best interests at heart?  There have been so many times when I thought things were horrible, but they turned out for the best.

December 25, 2017

Interesting card.  I still don’t feel as if I have a strong support system and I still feel as if there isn’t anyone I can trust other than a few people.  I did make an honest effort to go to church, but that didn’t turn out too well.  I was really really hurt when those bitches didn’t even say I hope your daughter feels better or that she’s okay.  I thought that was a pretty horrible way to treat someone and after that I decided I wanted nothing to do with those people.

I was also talking to Cam and I think part of the reason I don’t want anything to do with the UUs is that when you go to a UU church there is no energy or faith.  They people want to get together and worship, but it is not truly worship as they don’t believe in something bigger than themselves.  I do believe in something bigger than myself and I have faith.

The World

The World
Gaian Tarot

Book:  All should be well, Best of all possible cards, Wholeness, integration of spiritual, emotional, and physical lives, a major stage of your life is complete, A new phase should start soon, Remembering your birthright as a child of heaven and earth.

Journaling:

I’m not exactly sure what was going on that I ended up with three cards for the day, but I believe that nothing happens by accident so I’ll go with it.  The World is about wholeness and completion about about being at one with the universe.  It is a card that is about being pregnant with possibilities.

This card gives me a sense of completion and it feels as if one phase of my life is ending and another is just beginning.  It feels as if I am ready to move on and to recognize my own worth.  I don’t need to prove myself anymore.  I know my worth and the value that I bring to the table. 

I wonder if this is about my job situation as I’m ready to move on and to have a more settled life. 

May 8, 2016

World, completion, fulfillment, being whole, knowing my place in the world, accepting life’s gifts

December 25, 2016

What truly struck me as I was reading through this was the phrase “accepting life’s gifts.”  That’s where I’ve been at lately as I’ve been working hard to accept and appreciate all the wondrous things that life has to offer and when I start to complain about something, I refocus myself and remind myself about all the good stuff that comes my way.  When I complain about my kitchen, I remind myself about how amazing my house is.  When I complain about work, I remind myself that I have a job.  Sometimes it’s difficult to do this as it feels unnatural, but I just keep reminding myself that every skill we ever learn feels unnatural at some point in time.  The trick is to keep at it and eventually it will start feeling less strange.

Explorer of Fire

Explorer of Fire
Gaian Tarot

Book:

You are playing a dangerous game, you like being the center of attention, you like to dominate, let the contours and dramas of our life soften us.

Journaling:

Oddly enough this was the actual card of the day today.  It’s interesting to me because they are both fire cards and in some ways have very contradictory meanings.  While the five of fire seems to be a warning about playing with fire, this card is about exploring and getting to know fire.

Is this card telling me that I’m finally ready to play with fire and it is time for him to come into my life?  The funny thing is that I’m not even sure that’s what I want in my life anymore.  I’m at a point in my life where I WANT someone in my life, but no longer NEED someone in my life like I did at one point.  I’m fairly strong and confident in who I am all by myself.  I think that’s part of why I am so torn because I love my life in Cleveland.  I loving having independence.  I love being able to do what I want with my house and not having to collaborate with anyone else.  I also don’t want to be with someone who will hold me back.  I’m at a point in my life where I’m not ready to sacrifice my life for someone else’s.

 I was thinking about K. this morning and about how he values and appreciates my journeys.  He sees it as amazing and spiritual and not weird like someone else does.  Someone else sees it as fantasy at best and demonic at worst and I don’t know if that’s what I want in my life.  Having someone who views my gifts that way is just another way that I put myself down and feel less than.

December 24, 2017

Interesting as when I originally wrote this, I did feel this way intellectually, but there was a part of my heart that still needed to have someone special in my life and I wanted the person that I wanted.  I’ve come a long way in the past year and a half and although I do want someone in my life, I’ve truly become more comfortable in my own skin and I’m realizing the joys of being my own person and not having to answer to anyone.

Five of Fire

Five of Fire
Gaian Tarot

Journaling:

Interesting that this was not technically the card of the day.  I clicked on Draw a Card in the app instead of Today’s Card and this is what I got.  This card is very apt though as I am playing with fire as I am letting all rhyme and reason go out of my head where a certain someone is concerned.  I could let myself get totally consumed by his flame and that would not be a healthy place for me to be, but there is a part of me that doesn’t care.

May 8, 2016

I’m still not sure what the meaning of this card is.  I originally thought it was about playing with fire and getting burned, but the fire breather controls the fire without getting burned.  I think this requires some more prayer and meditation.

December 25, 2017

The five of fire can be an incredible high, but it can also be dangerous as the person breathing fire and /or the audience can get burned.  I think the message for me is to be careful.  I have the tendency to become obsessed and let myself be consumed by people and things.  I’ve been working hard to learn to take a step back and I have to say I’ve been way better about it.

The Teacher

Teaecher
Gaian Tarot

Journaling:  

This card is reminding me to be open to all wisdom from all sources and to be in touch with the divine spark within me.  It also is a reminder that having both roots and wings can help us to succeed.  This card is about being able to traverse all worlds as the tree of life allows us to access the upper world, the middle world, and the lower world.

This card is about recognizing that being a teacher is not just about passing down wisdom, it is also about being willing to receive it and being able to open our ears and our hearts and listen to the messages we are receiving.

The book indicates that this is a sign that a teacher may appear or that I may be ready to be a teacher to others.  One of my questions is why does it have to be an either or?  Can’t I be a student and a teacher at the same time?

Crazy Saint–Trust in our knowledge.  Be secure in ourselves and let go of what other people think of us.  The book also asks whether or not I know the names of plants in my area, which may mean I am being guided to be rooted and grounded in my home.

December 25, 2017

This card is speaking to me today as I’m exploring both teaching and learning.  I know that I have wisdom to offer others, but I’m struggling with whether or not I want the responsibility of guiding others.  I think I need to come to a new understanding of what teaching is and maybe it is about guiding not so much teaching.  For me, teaching comes with the responsibility to grade and to judge.  However, being a guide means I provide input, but not grades. 

I also love the guidance about learning the plants where I live.  I’m working to be more connected to my home and to truly learn to appreciate the flora and fauna that surround me.