Category: Daily Draw

Nine of Pentacles (Reversed)

Nine of Pentacles
Hanson-Roberts

First Impressions:  The woman is talking to her bird, she is in a gated garden, and there is a castle in the distance.  Reversed, this card speaks to me of failure and loss.

Book:  Feeling alone, neglecting relationships, empty inside, losing your way, lack of satisfaction

Guidance:  Re-prioritize, set better boundaries

December 23, 2017

Another day where I didn’t journal.  It’s odd looking at this card now as instead of seeing a woman who has done well for herself, I see a woman in a gilded cage.  It makes me wonder if she has achieved success on her own or if she is a trophy wife who has been put in a gilded cage.  It’s also possible that she has created a gilded cage of her own creation.

There are days when I feel as if I’ve created my own gilded cage as I live in a nice house, but I sometimes feel trapped working to support the house instead of creating joy.  I don’t have an instant answer for this, but I am committing myself to digging my way out of debt.

Four of Cups (Reversed)

Four of Cups
Hanson-Roberts

First Impressions:  A giant hand is holding one of the chalices and the three others are sitting there.  The man looks either made or as if he is being obstinate.  Reversed, this card tells me to appreciate what I have.

Book:  New opportunities, keen to enter a new and dynamic time, fear of being alone, omen to start a new relationship, ready to face the world again

Guidance:  Open your heart to love

December 23, 2017

It was another day where all I did was pull the card and didn’t spend anytime journaling.  It’s really frustrating when I come across those days because the best part of re-reading my tarot journals is realizing where I was at and seeing if I’ve learned anything since I originally pulled the card. 

It is interesting to me how many times over the past year the cards have pretty much screamed at me to open my heart to love.  That’s hard for me to do because I’ve been hurt so badly; however, I also realize that I will never have love in my life unless I am willing to open my heart and be willing to risk being hurt and/or disappointed.  That’s a really scary thing for me to contemplate, but I decided that this year (starting on my birthday) was going to be the year of love and I’m currently working on self love and on opening up my heart  It’s a little hard and a little scary, but day by day I’m getting there.

Clark is a really good role model for opening my heart to love a he just assumes people love him and he doesn’t wait.  He jumps in to love with both feet and even though I know he had a hard life before we adopted him, he is so open to being loved.  I need to emulate him.

The Magician

Magician
Hanson Roberts

First Impressions:  I always call this version of The Magician the Staying Alive card because he reminds me of John Travolta in Staying Alive.  He also reminds me of Fabio with the bare chest.  I love the roses in the tree around him which makes me smile.  This card speaks to me of directing power, using resources wisely, and making things happen.

Book:  Creativity, inspiration, letting inspiration flow through you, power of the mind, card of individuality

Guidance:  Trust and let go of worries, master yourself

Journaling:

What an appropriate card for today.  I truly had to channel energy today and make things work that seemed impossible.  I’ve also realized what one of my key skills is: I am a closer and I can make things happen that seem impossible.  I can also create order out of chaos.

December 23, 2017

I have absolutely no clue what was going on that I felt this card was important.  I know I was working at Gateway last year, but I’m not sure what was happening.  However, I do know that I’ve always been a closer as I’m creative and I find ways to make things work that other people can’t see.  I also a a bulldog and I don’t let go when I think there is a way.  Sometimes I hold on to things longer than I should and I am learning that sometimes it is okay to let go and walk away, but I’m also proud of the creativity I bring to my life.

The Moon

The Moon
Hanson Roberts

First Impressions:  I love the woman in the moon who is reclining as if she is on a pillow.  I also like that there are towers instead of pillars or rocks.  I also like that the crab is at the forefront of the card.  For me, this card always speaks to intuition and the darkness.  What I really like about this card is that it makes the darkness welcoming instead of scary.

Book:  Psychic wakening.  Dreams.  The mystery at the center of existence  The realm of enchantment.  Risk.  Confusing dichotomy.

Guidance:  Trust your intuition.  Be brave.

Journaling

I’m taking the moon as a reminder to slowdown and let myself connect with intuition and the moon itself this weekend.  There is always something amazing about standing outside and gazing up at the moon.  When I am open to her energy, I feel her gentle  love flowing through me.  I know I have strong intuition, but sometimes it gets clogged by all the bullshit and worry.

December 22, 2017

It is amazing to read this today as I needed to be reminded to trust my intuition.  There was a shakeup at work and I’ve been a little freaked out by it, but my intuition is telling me to stay and to trust.  It is telling me that it is all going to work out all right for me in the long run.  It’s really hard for me to accept that I should stay because my fight or flight instinct is strong.  However, the message I am receiving so strongly is that I need to stay and that I will be taken care of.

Six of Wands

Six of Rods
Hanson Roberts

Immediate Impressions:  This conquering hero is wearing a laurel wreath as a symbol of victor.  His helmet is gold and one of the rods holds a wreath in celebration.  The sun is shining over the entire scene providing light and energy and seeming to celebrate with the returning hero.  My immediate response to the card is that it is a card of victory, homecoming, and provides a sense of completion.

Book:  Victory and success through one’s own efforts.  Mastery of the self.  Leadership.  Victory but not satisfaction.

Guidance:  Enjoy your victory

Journaling

I’m not sure why I pulled this card today as I don’t feel victorious.  I feel totally beaten down by lie and trapped.  I’m not sure what the victory could be.  Maybe the key is to take myself out of the moment and work to see the bigger picture.

When I do that, I am able to see that overall I have a wonderful life that I truly love.  I’m also choosing to remind myself that none of the drama at work is my drama.  This is all Gateway’s Drama and my job is to stay out of the insanity.

It is also a victory that I understand how detrimental the drama is.

December 22, 2017

More lessons in drama and victory.  I let myself get all swirly this week over work stuff.  There was a reorganization and I’m not thrilled that I have a new boss.  The rational part of me knows that Joe will have more time to spend on building an OCM practice.  I know he believes in and supports OCM, but my initial gut reaction was negative and my mind wandered to the question of whether or not I should look for a new job.  That has always been my go-to reaction in the past when there was a change.  I never stuck around to see if it was going to be positive or negative.  I just left.  And that is what my scaredy cat little self wants to do this go round.   However, I’ve decided that this time I’m not going to run screaming.  I’m going to face my fears and stay and see what happens.

Judgement

Initial Impressions:  The people are naked and although it is supposed to be a family, they all seem very young.  The cloud by the angel is pink.  The people seem to be waving to the angel.  I don’t know if they are just saying hi or if there is more to it than that.  This card is about a reckoning and reawakening.

Book:  Awakening, realization, rebirth, call to change, and decision making.

Guidance:  Listen to your heart

Journaling

Awakening is an odd theme for the day.  I was so exhausted yesterday that I could barely keep my eyes open.  This job is getting more and more physically wearing and I’m not sure how much longer I can continue to push myself like this.  There is a large part of me that wants to get a job in town, but I’m kind of afraid of what that would look like.  I think I need to do some research and see if I could make that work.

December 22, 2017

It’s been over a year since I originally wrote that and I’ve switched jobs, but am still traveling.  I’m feeling somewhat better than I did then and am not as exhausted all the time.  However, I’ve also realized that I really need to pay attention to my physical health and be cognizant of when it is getting to be too much or me and step back.  I don’t always do a great job of that, but it’s a lesson I do need to learn.

Nine of Cups

Initial Impressions:  Interesting card.  I like how it shows the main full face right up in the camera.  I find the peacock feather interesting as that is a symbol of luck and hospitality in eastern cultures.  My initial impressions of this card are of happiness and welcoming.  It also speaks to friendship and collaboration.

Book:  Realization o a dream.  Imaginative and creative life.  Flourishing.

Guidance:  Count your blessings.  Appreciate what you have.

December 22, 2018

Oddly enough, I didn’t journal on this card either.  I must have been uber busy at the time I was pulling these cards.  I like the reminder to count my blessings.  I have been working really hard to focus on the positive lately and not get bogged down in the negative.  Right now, I’m a little pissed off that we have a defect heading into the holidays and we’re expected to work while on PTO to resolve it.  I understand that that is the nature of the beast, but it doesn’t mean that I have to like it.

Ten of Swords (Reversed)

Initial Impressions:  The beads in his hair came loose, but there is no blood.  Are the beads supposed to represent the blood?  Reversed, this card says to me that someones cares are falling away.

Book:  Opportunity arises for liberation and change.  The ultimate battle is with yourself.  Work on the issue and find the courage to rise again.  You will endure and persevere.

Guidance:  Have the courage to love again.  Trust that he loves you.  Be open.

Journaling

Hope is such a good thing and there are days it is in short supply because I get mired in all the details.  For me, this card speaks to cares and worries falling away and about the weirdness being gone.  Reversed this card is about opening up.

December 22, 2017
Interesting as I read this card over a year later, what I see is someone being impaled by the swords versus them falling away.  I’ve quit reading reversals so if I was to read this card today, I would see it as the worst having been done.  The nine of swords is about nightmares and in some ways this card is about the nightmare coming true.  However, the one thing that I have learned in my life is that sometimes it is okay when the other shoe has dropped and you know for sure where you’re at.  For me, it is harder to deal with the uncertainty and the worry than with cold hard facts.  With cold hard facts, you can come up with a plan to actually address what’s going on.

Death (Reversed)

Death
Hanson Roberts

First Impressions:  Kings, women, and children lay before him.  We all succumb to death in the end.  He is clad in armor decorated with skulls showing he cannot be stopped.  The sun is setting in the background showing the sunset of life.  Reversed this card can indicate someone who is stuck and unwilling to move on.

Book:  Strong sense of inertia.  Feeling that nothing has been accomplished.  Stay with it as there is more to learn. Avoidance of or fear of change.

Guidance:  Remove the blockage to transition.  Let go and move on.  Pray and meditate.

Journaling:

Death reversed pretty much sums up where I’m at today.  I’m feeling stuck, helpless, and depressed.  I feel as if I will never move forward and never have the love I want in my life.  I am such a white picket fence girl.  I am all about hearth and home and none of this stuff at work is really important to me.  All I really want to do is come home to someone who loves me.

December 23, 2017

I still really want to have someone in my life who loves me to come home to.  I know the kids love me, but I want that one person who is always there for me.  Despite all that I’ve been through, I still believe in love and happily every after.  However, one thing I have learned in the last year is that work does have meaning for me and I do enjoy it and take a sense of pride in what I do.  I’m also realizing how important it is to have gratitude for what we do have in our lives.  I may want to have someone, but I do appreciate having my kids, a home to live in, and a job that pays me well.  Even though I want love, it doesn’t mean I should trash the things that I do have in my life.

The Devil

Initial Thoughts:  There is a musical note between the figures that is kind off interesting.  Additionally, the Devil has an upside down pentacle on his forehead.  He also makes me think of a puppet pulling strings.  When I see this card, I think of choices as the couple is not tied up and it appears they could flee if they wanted  to escape.  This card also reminds me that bondage is sometimes personal choice.  I also think about our devotion t o addictions such as sex and materialism.

Book:  Being held in bondage, undesirable forces, chained down by materialism, temptation, call to awaken to responsibility, integrate and channel the life force.

Guidance:  Live in balance.  Accept the wealth the world has to offer.

Journaling

Since the DruidCraft deck was my first tarot deck, I always think about Cernunous when I see this card.   He is the horned god of the hunt and in that deck the “devil” is not evil, but a force to be channeled.  Overindulging is what puts is unto bondage.

This card like so many tarot carts speaks for balance.  It is when we get out of balance that life becomes unmanageable and addictions are a good indication that life is unmanageable.  This card could also be speaking to me of my need to break my sugar addiction.  I know it is killing me, but I still shovel sugar in my mouth.  I’m not sure how to break the addiction and get back on track.  I need to ask for guidance.

December 21, 2017
I’m getting chills as I read what I wrote because today while Cam and I were out walking, I talked about how so many stories about addiction don’t talk about the spiritual side of healing and the need to ask for help to take the addiction away.  I know when I was in college and was drinking too much, it was AA that truly helped me to break the addiction.  Asking for help and turning my addiction over to a higher power truly helped me to heal.  It didn’t make it easy, but it did help me to recover.

It was a higher power that also helped me to deal with my codependency after my marriage imploded.  By turning it over to a higher power, I was able to find the strength to heal and to leave behind some of my addictive and co-dependent behavior.

Dearest ones,

I admit that I am powerless over sugar and my life and health has become unmanageable.  I know that you can help me with this addiction and I am humbling asking you to do so and to take away my cravings for the sugar that is slowly killing me.

Thank you,
Raine