bliss – Page 7 – Cairn by Cairn

More Bliss

Writing is in my blood, my mom writes, my dad wrote, my daughter writes, my aunts wrote, well you get the picture. It is what I do and I am at my happiest when I am sitting at a keyboard playing with words. I also LOVE to see my words in print and to see how they look when they are put out there for public consumption. Maybe that makes me narcissistic, but that’s okay.

The first time I had a story published at the Champaign News Gazette, I stood at the grocery store the day it was to be published and waited for the driver to arrive with the newspapers. Once I had it in my hot little hands, I rifled through it until I saw what the editor had done with my story. There is something about a byline that brings me pure bliss because I know that other people are reading and absorbing what I’ve read.

Over the years I’ve written for a number of publications, but have never been able to break into the big glossies that sit on the newsstand or inhabit the check out counters. I’ve sent of pitches, but haven’t been able to catch anyone’s eye. The Internet is changing that as some of the glossies are soliciting input from their readers to fill the pages of their online magazines. More, one of my favorite magazines, is one of the magazines that is reaching out to readers and asking for input. Two weeks ago, I submitted a story about finding bliss through blogging to More and they published it on their site. Being published online isn’t as big of a thrill as seeing my name in the pages of a magazine, but it is still pretty cool to see my name somewhere that isn’t my site. More.com is also featuring an article of mine about Patrick Swayze on the front page.

More.com had a link to a site called Divine Caroline and digging into their site, I found out that they also look for submissions for members and I posted a story about stealing back moments of your life.

Everyone reading this probably thinks I am totally self absorbed, but I’m not posting so all of you can rush off and read my writing and tell me how wonderful I am. I’m writing because writing is bliss and because it becomes even more blissful when I know that others are reading the words I’ve put down on the page (or screen) and hopefully being positively impacted.

What brings you bliss?

Blissful Acceptance

Luke, my beautiful Aussie / Collie Mix, came to us from a shelter when he was three and he had a lot of ingrained bad habits: barking insanely at anyone who comes to the door, not being able to walk on a leash, having accidents when we take him to PetSmart, and biting other dogs. Not a list of all the things you’d look for when you went to adopt a dog. However, he’s also one of the smartest and most loving dogs that I know and cuddling with him is pure bliss.

We’ve taken him to doggy obedience school, but he got so nervous every time he went that he would have an accident and then look ashamed of himself. We take him for walks and he pulls at the leash because he’s so excited. For the longest time, I thought that with enough exercise and practice, he’d get better and sometimes he does a really good job on the leash and other times he’s right back to ripping my arm out of the socket. Unfortunately for Luke and us, we spent a lot of time comparing him to dogs that walked beautifully on leashes because their parents had started working with them when they were puppies.

I finally realized that it wasn’t fair to compare Luke’s behavior that that of a dog that started walking on a leash when he was a baby. Could we make up for the lost time? Maybe, but the price would be a whole lot of frustration on our part and Luke’s. That’s when I realized that I had to accept Luke for who he was: a beautiful, furry companion who loves us with all his heart. That’s who Luke is and at the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter to me if he can walk on a leash or not. We have a big back yard and we take him out to play and do psycho puppy several times a day so he’s not suffering by not being able to take walks.

The next realization was that my whole family was worthy of the same compassion and acceptance that I show Luke. I need to accept that cleaning the house is not a priority for a daughter, but that she brings a lot of joy to my life through her singing, her stories, and just being Caitlin. Sean can be grumpy and messy, but he’s always willing to help me move the heavy stuff and he’s great to talk politics with. John will never be as driven as I am, but that’s okay, he’s always been there for me and he’s been my moving buddy through more moves than we can count.

Accepting myself is a little harder to do as I regularlly flagallate myself for not being pretty enough, for being too fat, for being a slob, for anything and everything. However, beating myself hasn’t helped me really change my life. All it’s done is make me feel unhappy and guilty. I still want to make changes, but I need to accept with all my heart who I am right now. I need to take the good with the bad and be happy with who I am.

It is amazing how many blissful lessons I learn from someone who can’t talk at all, but who manages to be very articulate with his eyes, his ears, and his love.

Moon Bliss

Eating outside is one of the great delights of Chicago Springs and Summers. After a long cold winter, you’re ready to get outside and enjoy the sun while you’re eating your meal. On a personal note, everything seems to taste better when cooked or at least eaten outside. We have a beautiful backyard and I love sitting outside and soaking up the sounds and scents of summer.

At my last job, my best friends and I would head to Starbucks a couple of times a week and in the summer, we’d sit outside and enjoy the weather while we talked about jobs, kids, life, and anything else that struck our fancy. Those were some incredibly special memories and I cherish the memories of those warm summer days sitting outside and enjoying the day. My last day at that company, two of my friends met me at Starbucks and we toasted my tenure there as well as the new things that were in my future.

Even today, if my friends and I go out for lunch in the spring or summer, we’ll often choose to eat Al Fresco as it seems to make the experience a lot more lively and more fun. I went out for lunch just last week with one of my new coworkers and we enjoyed burgers and conversation as we discussed our company and what we thought the future might bring.

I have a beautiful back yard at home and we really enjoy eating outside and enjoying our beautiful Magnolia tree, Maggie, and our fairly private backyard. Unfortunately, this year every time I was ready to go outside and enjoy a meal something came up: it was raining, it was too hot, there were bugs, I had something else to do, etc., etc., I know a lot of those sound like excuses, but at the end of the day the purpose of eating dinner outside is enjoy myself and relax and if I’m sweating bullets or swatting mosquitoes, I’m not going to be relaxing and am going to spend the entire time wondering why I’m not inside in the air conditioning.

It’s the full moon outside tonight and I was on my way up to bed when the backyard beckoned. I cut up an apple, filled a glass of wine, and headed outside to light the tiki torches and soak up the moonlight. I hadn’t realized until I was outside that Maggie’s leaves were almost touching the table or that there were no birds chirping at night, but plenty of crickets. I sat and sipped my wine, ate my apple, and enjoyed the cool moonlit air.

There is something magickal about a evening when the summer is just turning to fall and sitting there enjoying the calm, I felt truly blissed.

Eating the Elephant–Volume 2

I started my Butterfly Bliss Housekeeping Edition last week, but after thinking it over and thinking about the metaphors of butterflies, I’ve decided that for this challange, I’m going to go with the metaphor of eating an elephant. The old story begins with the question, “How do you eat an elephant?” The answer, of course, is one bite at a time. To me that symbolizes internalizing something and making it part of your being and that is what I want to do with the housekeeping habits I’m trying to instill in myself. Going forward, you’ll see my housekeeping challange titled “Eating the Elephant” and my general challange is Butterfly Bliss.

Goal–Have a Clean Kitchen

Progress

Empty the dishwasher and actually put the dishes away when it is finished–I’ve done well with this one and as a result, I only have a few dishes left to be put in the dishwasher. Normally on weekends, I end up spending an entire day doing dishes.
As dishes become dirty, load them in the dishwasher and start it when it is full.–We’ve still been piling dishes in the sink, but it has become more managable than it was before.
Wipe up spills as they happen–Great progress on this one. I’m still not perfect, but I did make progress.
Throw garbage away as it happens versus letting the empty boxes and cans sit on the counter.–Was fairly successful on this one. I did leave the garbage can without a bag in it for a day and that resulted in garbage on the counter.

Elephant Ears for the Week–I’m going to leave the same elephant ears as they are not ingrained yet.

Empty the dishwasher and actually put the dishes away when it is finished
As dishes become dirty, load them in the dishwasher and start it when it is full.
Wipe up spills as they happen
Throw garbage away as it happens versus letting the empty boxes and cans sit on the counter

Goal–Always have clothes ready to wear in the morning

Progress

Put clothes away as soon as the dryer is done–I haven’t done perfectly at this, but I have started putting my clothes in one bag to take upstairs and put away. I need to figure out if I want to do laundry two or three times a week or do one big batch on the weekend.
Mend clothes when buttons fall off etc, instead of sitting them aside to do something with later–Didn’t do this. I have a pair of pants that I need to sew a button on and I’ve been procrastinating.
Put clothes away after work (hamper, hang up jackets, take jewelry off, etc.)–Did a pretty good job of this one. I have realized I’m really bad though about throwing my jackets in the backseat of the car. I need to do a better job at this.

Elephant Ears–I’m going to keep the same ones this week as I didn’t do a stellar job.

Put clothes away as soon as the dryer is done
Mend clothes when buttons fall off etc, instead of sitting them aside to do something with later
Put clothes away after work (hamper, hang up jackets, take jewelry off, etc.)

Goal–Clean Living Room

I’m in the process of doing a deep clean on the living room, so some of these are getting taken care of that.

Progress

Carry dishes into the kitchen when you are done with them–Have done a better job on this one, but I’m still not great. I ended up taking three things into the kitchen today that had sat there for a few days.
Carry the kids belongings up to their room instead of waiting for them to do it–I did a good job at this one and I’m actually starting to get the kids to put there own things away.
Put shoes away instead of kicking them off on the floor–Total loser on this one.
Throw papers and other trash away instead of piling it up–Not a total loser, but I didn’t do a great job on this one.
Go through mail once a week–I did go through the mail this week and didn’t let it pile up.

Elephant Ears–Not enough progress to justify moving on to new habits.

Carry dishes into the kitchen when you are done with them
Carry the kids belongings up to their room instead of waiting for them to do it
Put shoes away instead of kicking them off on the floor
Throw papers and other trash away instead of piling it up
Go through mail once a week

Goal–Clean Bathroom

I made less progress in keeping the bathroom clean than in any other area. I’m still awful about throwing my clothes down and not in the hamper and at putting things away.

Progress

Refill the toilet paper as soon as it is empty–I did do this one, but I didn’t carry rolls into the bathroom from the laundry room when I should have.
Put clothes in the hamper instead of on the floor–Loserville on this one
Put away bottles, jars, etc.–I did an okay job on this one, but not stellar.
Don’t leave books, magazines, etc. in the bathroom–Did okay on this one.

Elephant Ears

Refill the toilet paper as soon as it is empty
Put clothes in the hamper instead of on the floor
Put away bottles, jars, etc.
Don’t leave books, magazines, etc. in the bathroom

Goal–Clean Family Room

Progress

Don’t leave my computer bag sitting down stairs. Put it and all the related junk by my desk.–I was okay at this until Friday when I brought my bag downstairs and left it all weekend.
Carry dishes and food upstairs as soon as I’m done–I was pretty good at this one.
Pick up garbage (magazines, soda bottles, etc.) as soon as I’m done–There are still coke bottles sitting around that I left out.

Elephant Ears for the week

Don’t leave my computer bag sitting down stairs. Put it and all the related junk by my desk.
Carry dishes and food upstairs as soon as I’m done
Pick up garbage (magazines, soda bottles, etc.) as soon as I’m done

Overall, I was really disappointed by my progress as I didn’t think that any of these things were that difficult. I do know that the house is cleaner than it was at the beginning of the week. I’ll just keep plugging away and eventually, these habits will become engrained.

Planting Bliss

There is something primal about digging my hands in the dark, fertile earth that makes me feel alive and connected to my prehistoric ancestors. Granted there isn’t much call to grow all my own food in the wild and woolly suburbs of Chicago, but I did take some time this year to plant some flowers out front. My ground is rough and sort of rocky so instead of tilling the earth, I took a shortcut and planted a container garden.

Now being tremendously cheap and not wanting to invest in containers, I scrounged through the house and found old pots with no lids, a few garbage cans we weren’t using, and a few baskets to use as my containers. I’d done my research online and found that a lot of other people were using recycled materials to do their planting in, so I figured there was a precedent.

A trip to Home Depot in May yielded a host of plants including dahlias, azaleas, petunias, and a bunch of other plants that I thought looked cool. I brought them all home, sat them outside and went inside to congratulate myself on at least getting the plants purchased. Of course, once I got inside, I got lost in the Web and it was dark before I remembered that I had plants outside that I needed to plant. I figured they’d be okay overnight after all they’d been sitting out at Home Depot for goddess knows how long.

The next morning dawned beautifully so I headed outside with my bags of potting soil and my found containers and started dumping dirt in containers. Realistically, I know that I should have drilled holes in the containers before I started planting, but I figured there’d be enough dirt in there that my plants wouldn’t get swamped, besides they were calling for a really dry hot summer. The plants looked gorgeous once I got them all planted so I headed inside to congratulate myself and take a shower.

Everything looked fresh and green and wonderful the first week. The wave petunias looked fantastic falling out of the baskets and overall things looked great. Then it started to rain. The first few days everything still looked bright and wonderful and then puddles started to form in my containers. I dumped them out and prayed for drought. No one was listening and it continued to rain and drown my flowers. I think it rained every day for three weeks.

A lot of my plants were casualties of the rain, including the Azalea, which looked sick and spindly when the rain was over. Someone with more time on their hands, would have probably dumped out the plants, drilled holes in the containers and started over. However, I didn’t have a lot of time so I left all my poor spindly little plants sitting outside in their makeshift containers and averted my eyes when I walked in the door.

Coming home one evening, I realized that there were beautiful pink flowers popping out of one of my containers. Closer inspection revealed that the Azalea bush that I’d thought was dead was blooming and it’s been blooming ever since. Surrounded by its poor dead little neighbors, it looks like a rock star.

There’s a certain fundamental bliss in knowing that beauty can bloom even when neglected, over watered, and planted with no drainage. It’s a great reminder that life can surprise us with its beauty, its wonder, and its bliss.

Air Bliss

Air travel and airports have fascinated me most of life and I fell in love with the whole idea of flying off into the wild blue yonder long before I took my first flight. When I was a kid, my dad would sometimes take us to O’Hare to walk around and see the planes. I was fascinated by the thought of getting on a plane and a few hours later being someplace else.

I loved walking the corridors and imaging where all the people were going. The people dressed in business suits were obviously traveling to important meetings where the fate of world commerce would be decided (it was only later I realized that the most important thing decided in some meetings was what kind of donuts to have). The families were traveling to exotic locations to see grandma and grandpa. The teenagers were traveling to meet their friends. I created stories about everyone I saw and loved imagining interesting and exciting lives for all of the folks that could afford to travel by air.

Fast forward about 10 years and I took my very first flight from St. Louis to Memphis and I finally felt that magickal feeling that comes from taking off and slipping the surly bonds of earth to ride upon the clouds. Despite my best efforts to be sophisticated and worldly because after all I was a junior in college, inside I was a little kid excited about her first time on a plane. I’d heard about what it was like to look down on the earth from 30,000 feet, but nothing prepared me for how incredible it was to be above the clouds and to look down and see the checkerboard fields laid out below you.

The Air Force called me right out of college and I want to work at Scott Air Force Base as a civilian auditor and planes became a part of my everyday life as I got to see planes, planes, and more planes every day at work. We had everything from huge cargo planes to fighter jets grace our runway and I’d often spend my lunch hour watching the planes come and go.

I transferred to Kadena Air Base after a year and a half at Scott and the flight over almost killed my love of flying. Imagine flying for two days with a husband and four month old. Then imagine getting stuck in Anchorage, Alaska for two days with no winter clothes and a sick infant. That was the hellish beginning of my trip to Okinawa and my first exposure to the darker side of flying: delays, lost luggage, and really cranky flight attendants.

The thing about being stationed on a small island in the East China Sea is that if you want to go anywhere, you have to fly and you get to fly in some pretty interesting aircraft. I got to fly in net cargo seats in C-130s and in the very top of C-5’s where you’re actually seated backwards. I loved those flights as they fed my sense of adventure. I also got to fly in a small luxury Lear jet that normally ferried generals. If I wasn’t flying in cool planes, I was out on the flight line looking at them. I got to see the avionics in an AWACS plane and see the inside of a fighter.

I hung up my traveling wings for a few years when we returned to the US, but then in 2000 we took the family to Disney and the magick started when we got to the Indianapolis Airport and the kids realized we really were going to Disney. It was that trip that I discovered it wasn’t only the planes that could be pretty interesting, but the Airports as well. The Cleveland Airport has giant paper airplanes gracing their terminal and we had fun seeing what different ones we could spot.

Since that trip, I’ve found myself in lots of airports and I always try to look at them as interesting places in their own right versus just places I’m passing through and I’ve discovered the beauty and grace that some airports exhibit. The United terminal at O’Hare has long corridors filled with lighted globes that add sparkle and dazzle to the trip.

Heathrow is one of the grandaddies of them all when it comes to airports: it is huge, it is confusing, and it has the best shopping. I was fortunate enough to have a layover at Heathrow once and I spent a couple of hours wandering the corridors shopping the world. Burberry’s and Harrod’s offered traditional British shopping, Bally offered goods from Switzerland, and the resturants offered cuisine to suit even the most discerning palete. There was sushi, sandwiches, and traditional British fare.

The Atlanta Airport is an art museum in its own right. I ended up stuck at the airport for a six hour layover and I took the time to explore all the concourses and I found some amazing artwork. There were delicate glassworks whose undulating shapes seemed alive, there were stone sculptures mimiking traditional Afrikaan American art, and traditional folk art from the south.

As blissful as traveling the world is, there’s nothing quite so blissful as getting on a plane knowing that you’re flying to the most blissful location of all: home and family.

Home Cooked Bliss

There’s something about standing over a stove stirring sauce or listening to the sizzle of garlic and onions in a hot skillet that is very soul satisfying. Last week I made meatloaf for my family and used the leftover meat mix to make some meatballs that I turned into spaghetti and meatballs last night.

There isn’t anything tremendously difficult about opening a bottle of spaghetti sauce, putting them on the stove to heat and dumping some spaghetti in a kettle of water so I thought my culinary duties would be light last night. However, my daughter who usually cooks her own food because she’s a vegetarian asked me what I was making for her. We didn’t have another jar of spaghetti sauce in the house and there was no way I was making another run to the store so I got inspired and started ransacking the cupboards to see what we had I could make a passable sauce from.

My base was a can of tomato sauce, to that I added some minced garlic and onions. Unfortunately it still looked like a can of tomato sauce with spices so I headed back to the cupboard. A little searching turned up a can of diced tomatoes and some mushrooms which made the jar of tomato sauce look a lot more like spaghetti sauce. The simmering sauce smelled divine, but had an acidic taste. Remember some long ago guidance I’d read in a cook book, I added a few pinches of sugar and tasted it again. It tasted a lot better than a can of Ragu and made me remember the satisfying feeling of creativity that cooking can bring when you don’t slavishly follow someone else’s directions.

Cooking is about more than the raw ingredients you put in the pan, it’s about nurturing and love and about creating sustenance for those you love. There’s something immensely satisfying about the smell of garlic and onion sizzling on the griddle or the warm chocolaty perfume of cookies baking in the oven. Those aromas fill the home with love, security, and bliss.

In Sickness and Bliss

Being sick isn’t very blissful or is it? I’m currently battling a nasty case of the flu and I’ve been off work for a couple of days while trying to get better. The scratchy throat, constantly dripping nose, and overwhelming exhaustion are the furthest thing from bliss I could imagine. However, there are parts of being home sick that do verge on the blissful.

I rarely have the house and the tv to myself, especially during the summer when the kids are off school. However, as fate would have it I ended up home sick all alone for one glorious day when there was no one to intrude on my “misery.” No one at home meant that I got to spend the day snuggled in front of the TV watching reruns of crime dramas, my mind candy of choice, with no one turning the channel to check on the scores of the latest sporting event.

When fatigue set in and I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer, I was able to snuggle down in my nice warm bed in the middle of the day and take a nap. Sleep is one of the best medicines in the world as it gives your body time to repair itself and fight off infection, it also feels really good to take a nap in the middle of the day. When I woke up I found that “Nurse Luke,” my Aussie Shepard/Collie Mix had snuggled in next to me. When he realized I was awake, he licked my face and we snuggled for a while before I got up to wander downstairs and find something to eat. It seemed like way too much effort to actually cook something, so I settled on chocolate and fruit.

I drug myself off the couch long enough to get my daughter from work and she was very solicitous when she got home. She offered to fix me tea and although I didn’t take her up on it, the offer was very sweet. I was about to collapse again when hubby came home from work and he took one look at me and sent me back to bed.

It’s Saturday now and I have the house to myself for a few more hours and I’m trying to decide whether to keep blogging, to watch more mind candy, or to just go back upstairs and take another nap. Right now, it’s feeling as if the sore throat and stuffy nose are a small price to pay for the self indulgent bliss of mindless TV and naps during the middle of the day.

Blissful Civility

Civility doesn’t get much press lately unless someone is complaining about the lack of civility in our modern world, about drivers who cut us off, about shoppers who take full carts through the fast lane, about the ungratefulness of youth. However, I’ve spent some time observing people the last few weeks and I’m realizing that civility is alive and well in the modern world and it’s very presence helps make the world a little more blissful.

Civility isn’t about perfect etiquette or using the right fork, civility is about treating others with common courtesy and respect. The Institute for Civility says that “It is patience, grace, and strength of character.” Civility is about practicing the golden rule and treating others like you would like to be treated.

The realization that civility breeds bliss came to me as I was walking into the bookstore and a child held the door open for me. It was a simple gesture, but it made me think about how good manners make the world a better place to live. My children are usually well behaved and polite and they’re generally the ones holding the door open for others when we get to the store because it’s the right thing to do and they don’t expect a reward for being good citizens, but they do expect the common courtesy of politeness. They’re always a little disgruntled when someone walks through the door they’re holding without a thank you. That little thank you means a lot as it means that someone noticed and appreciated what they’d done.

There are a number of people that I really don’t care for at work because they’re too aggressive, they’re backbiting, they’re power hungry, or worst of all they’re arrogant. Unfortunately, for me it’s very hard for me to be civil to people I really don’t like and that makes my life at work more difficult than it should be. I’ve always been an in your face kind of person and what you see is what you get. However, I’m learning that civility doesn’t mean I approve of they way they behave or their attitude, it just means that I want to get the job done and civility is sometimes the easiest way to accomplish that.

I thought that behaving with civility towards people I don’t like would make me feel two faced as if I was pretending to like people I didn’t really like. I was really surprised to find that treating people with civility actually made me feel more sympathetic toward them and more inclined to try to find common ground instead of automatically dismissing everything they say.

I’ve been working hard to practice civility lately and I’m finding that it’s helping me become more calm and balanced as I’m working to behave with patience, grace, and respect. The bliss comes from the realization that common ground can be easier to find than I thought.

Mississippi Bliss

The Mighty Miss, Old Man River, the Big Muddy, all these and more are used to describe the wonderous body of water that flows from Minnesota to the Gulf of Mexico. To me, the Mississippi River represents safety, home, and a place that always inspires my soul. My love of the Mighty Miss was fostered when I was a child and we’d journey from our home in Northern Illinois to my Grandma’s house in Popular Bluff, MO. When we’d cross the Mississippi from Illinois into St. Louis, I always knew we were more than half way there.

We always stopped in St. Louis when I was a child to stretch our legs, to visit the zoo, or just to walk along the river front. Sometimes when we had time on our hands, we’d drive down the Mississippi and enjoy the ever changing mood of the river. In some spots, the Mighty Miss is placid and calm and in other places it’s wild and wooly. One memorable trip we took a river cruise on the old Admiral and we enjoyed watching the riverside drift by as we floated along the river that inspired Mark Twain. My son was born within a few miles of the Mississippi and although we moved away when he was a few months old, we took him and his sister back for a few trips and it was wonderful to see my kids enjoying the same sights and sounds that I’d enjoyed growing up.

The river played into my courtship as well. My first date with my husband was a trip to the St. Louis zoo. I kidnapped him and we headed south from Jacksonville, Il. We stopped in Alton and spent some time peruising an old antique store. He bought me a beautiful book of Asian poems that I’d admired. Lunch was fine dining (okay, McDonald’s) on a riverboat. Even though it was just McDonald’s, there was still something Magickal about sitting on the softly swaying boat and eating our Quarter Pounders. Another date was spent in Hannibal walking along the river and taking a riverboat ride.

When my parents retired, they settled near the Mississippi and my dad could spend hours watching for Eagles along the Mississippi. He’d often take our kids to the Lock and Dam to watch the boats go through. Those were happy days as we’d picnic along the river and watch the boats roll down the Mississippi.

The mighty river has brought me comfort in times of sadness and sorrow. I was in Ripley, TN when my work life seemed to be falling apart. I sought the comfort of the river and found a small nature preserve where I could dip my toes in Ole Man River and feel my cares float away. There’s something peaceful about sitting by a river and watching the river drift along. It feels as if it takes your cares with it.

My father’s last trip along the Mississippi was when we took his cremains from my parent’s home in Northwestern Illinois to the graveyard in Alton where my father was buried next to his father. It was a beautiful spring day out as my mom, my daughter, my son and I headed south. My father had been born in Bethalto, IL, a small town a few miles from Alton, so his life was coming full circle. We dropped his cremains off at the cemetary and then drove along the river to enjoy the view and remember the man who’d been so important to the four of us.

A few months after we’d buried my father, my daughter, mom, and I went out to the shuttered Savanna Army Depot to enjoy the park that’s being developed along the Mississippi. As we stood more than a hundred feet above the Mississippi, I felt the river work its magick on me once again as I remembered all those wonderful trips driving along the Mississippi with my dad. I felt as if he was once again beside me advising me and sharing with me stories of life. I knew then that whenever I needed to feel close to my dad, all I had to do was sit along the Mississippi and remember.