Category: bliss

Driving Miss Bliss

Teaching my son to drive was a hair raising (and graying) experience. It seemed as if I was constantly screeching at him to slow down, not drive so close to the parked cars, not stop so fast, not, not, not. Looking back, I realize that was exactly the wrong way to inspire confidence and teach him to be a good driver. However, at the time I was incredibly freaked out about the thought of my 16 year old son behind the wheel of a 3,500 lb chunk of steel. I kept envisioning us getting sandwiched under a semi like some scene from a high speed chase.

Four years later that perspective seems pretty silly as I’m realizing that even though I wasn’t behind the wheel and my foot couldn’t reach the gas pedal (unless you count the imaginary one I kept stomping on), I was still in control. I controlled when he went driving because I had to be in the car with him and I controlled the route that we were driving on.

Those lessons have stood me in good stead with my daughter as her driving experience is not quite so nerve racking as my sons. I’ve timed her driving so that it’s early in the evening when most folks are at dinner and we’ve limited her driving to sleep suburban side streets. I still get a little freaked out by how close the cars parked along the side of the road seem from the passenger’s seat, but I’m realizing that even if we hit the car she’s going slow enough that there would be minimal damage and that’s what insurance is for.
Cat is a very cautious driver who takes her responsibilities seriously and she is realistic in her estimate of her skills. We went driving last night and she did a very nice job at stopping at the stop signs, signalling, and overall being a conscientious driver. We even went to a nearby parking lot to practice fishtailing, but the gods of winter driving were not very cooperative and every time she slammed on the brakes to try and fishtail, we glided gently to a stop.
Despite the gray hairs and the claw marks in the dashboard, I’m happy to teach Cat to drive because the feeling of watching her develop a new confidence in her abilities is a blissful experience in and of itself.

Ungrinching Bliss

Christmas starts way too early in America with stores putting out decorations and doodads earlier and earlier each year. This year the earliest siting in my area was August when I happened to be in Hobby Lobby and they were already setting out the aisle of Christmas decorations. When I was a child, there were very set “rules” for when holiday merchandise was to be unveiled. School supplies made their first appearance in late July, Halloween costumes showed up in the stores early in October, Turkeys and assorted Thanksgiving goodies made their appearance right after Halloween, and Christmas showed up the day after Thanksgiving.

I typically don’t buy into the corporate guilt to buy buy buy until sometime after Thanksgiving and then I start thinking that maybe I’d better start buying Christmas presents. The first presents are typically bought grudgingly as I see something in the store and buy it because if I don’t, I’ll never get my shopping done. My first shopping painful as I think about how many presents I have to buy, do some mental bitching because I’m always the one doing the shopping, and keep a mental tally to make sure that everyone gets treated equally.

This year the first gifts were the expensive ones as Sean and John got Cliqs for Christmas and because I can never keep a secret for long, they ended up getting them before the holidays. I bought Caitlin a few little things because after all I had to get her something if I was getting the boys something even though I knew exactly what her main present was going to be and had budgeted for it.

I managed to avoid the holiday insanity for the first few weeks of the season and then something clicked like it does every year and the joy of giving overwhelmed me. Buying presents started to feel like less of a chore and more of a joy. Instead of thinking about having to buy presents, I started thinking about the joy of giving and about how much I hoped my loved ones would like the things I was giving for them.

Oddly enough it is the little presents and stocking stuffers that I always buy with the most joy. The big presents are the hardest ones because there is so much money at stake and all too often too many expectaitons that they have to be perfect. With the secondary gifts, it’s easier to take risks and buy the gifts that you think are perfect, but that might not be.

It’s easy to buy someone a new phone or a new computer, but it’s harder to think about things that will bring people joy. I took some time today to explore the second hand stores and speciality stores for stocking stuffers that were meaningful. I found Caitlin an adorable gift at a second hand store (can’t say what it is becuase she reads my blog), got Sean some cool stuff at the dollar store, and spent hours searching through bookstores to find a Celtic Woman CD for John (it’s okay, I wussed and gave it to him early). None of these thinks cost a lot of money, but they’re all meaningful gifts from the heart.

The grinch has been replaced with the bliss of giving in my heart as I think about the joy that my gifts will bring my family and about the joy that their joy will bring me. What could be more perfect?

Breakfast Bliss

My daughter was scheduled to go in at 10 this morning and not her usual 6 am so she suggested we go out to breakfast at the little diner across the street from the bakery where she works. We headed up to the diner and settled ourselves in a booth by the counter, where our waitress some came by to ask us what’ we’d like to drink. We ordered our drinks and then looked up at the menu board to decide what we wanted for breakfast. Cat decided on the cheese omelet and I ordered the french toast with a side of ham.

Looking around the restaurant, I realized this wasn’t a place that would ever win five stars from Michelin, but that had woven itself into the fabric of the community. The 15 booths were all filled with locals talking about their plans for the upcoming holidays and making predictions about the weather. The counters were filled with holiday decorations ranging from Santas to Naivety scenes and with homey touches like ceramic touches. The waitresses were kept hopping as they went from table to table topping of coffee and checking on their customers. Although our waitress was clearly a Northerner, her “hons” and “sugars” would have done the best Southern waitresses proud.

We whiled away the time waiting for our food talking about the future, chores to be done, and Cat’s upcoming graduation. Cat’s current plan is to go to UIC and share an apartment with her brother Sean. She’s been nervous about going away to collage and the thought of sharing an apartment with her brother eases her mind as it means she won’t be all alone in a strange town and she’ll be close to home in case she needs us.

When our drinks were almost done, our food arrived and we settled down to enjoy the good home cooking. My french toast was dosed with butter and cinnamon sugar and cooked to perfection. The ham was tender and tasty and Cat’s omelet was filled with just the right amount of choose.

We finished our food and I excused myself to use the ladies room and when I came back Cat told me that she’d paid the bill and I could leave the tip. I was filled with prideful bliss at the responsible and caring young woman my daughter was becoming. It was so wonderfully unexpected to be treated to breakfast that it put a smile on my face all day.

Snow White Bliss

We had our first real, stick to the ground, snowstorm overnight so we woke up and everything was coated with a beautiful white coating. The trees are laced with fairy dust and all the imperfections of the yard are covered with a beautiful white coating. Maggie, our Magnolia tree, looks especially beautiful with her lacy dress of white.

Our dog, Luke, absolutely hates the rain, but he loves going out and running around and playing psycho puppy in the snow. He goes out and grabs mouthfuls of it and runs crazily around the yard. The snow reenergizes him and makes him feel like a puppy again. Dogs aren’t the only ones for whom snow brings out the inner child. Going outside and seeing the white wonderland, I feel the wonder of childhood snow days when snow was something to get excited about and not something to curse because it made commutes harder.
The adult in me knows that snow means the roads will be slippery, commutes will take longer, and it will be cold outside, but the child in me wants to just run and play in the snow like I did when I was a kid and we had a snowday. Snowdays are what every Northern child prays for: a day off to do nothing but play in the snow and drink hot chocolate.
Southerners might think that all snow is the same, but those of us who hail from Northern climates know that there are two primary types of snow: snowball snow and blizzard snow. Snowball snow is thick and dense, just right for snowball fights and snowmen. It tends to stick to the ground and no matter how much wind you get, it stays right where it is. Blizzard snow on the other hand is finer in texture and can be set aloft at the slightest hint of a breeze. We get plenty of blizzard snow in the North and when Blizzard snow is blowing, we all curl up in our houses with good books, good friends, and, if we’re lucky, a fireplace.
I grew up in the Chicago area and in the middle of winter, I always swear I’m going to move to a warmer climate where the winters aren’t so cold. However, deep down, I’m a Chicago girl at heart and there’s something to be said for the white wonderland that snow creates and the opportunity to blissfully snuggle in front of a fireplace with someone I love.

Anonymous Bliss

Christmas time brings out the best in humanity as everyone seems a little more concerned about taking care of their fellow man. Some folks give with big showy displays, but the best and most meaningful gifts are those given anonymously and symbolically to help those less fortunate. A quick spin around the web this week, revealed anonymous givers whose gifts have inspired others to give to those less fortunate.

Mysterious Pete has become a legend to the staff at the Easter Seals Rehabilitation Center in Evansville, IN. Every year around Christmas he hides a donation somewhere on the property and then phones the staff with a hint as to where to find his gift. This year’s gift was a miniature Christmas tree with 30 $100 bills attached. Over the years Pete’s given over $65,000 to the center and although the staff has garnered a few clues about who he might be, they prefer to let his identity remain a mystery so as not the thrill he gets out of giving anonymously.

The tradition of gold coins being dropped anonymously in Chicago Salvation Army buckets continued this year when holiday workers found gold coins worth $1,200 wrapped inside bills and dropped inside the red buckets. The tradition of someone dropping gold coins into Salvation Army buckets in the Chicago area dates back to 1982 and the coins have included Kugerrands and other golden coins. The tradition has spread to other areas and this year gold coins have been dropped in buckets in Philadelphia, Indiana, and Florida.

In another story, an anonymous woman showed up at a Salvation Army and started handing out $20 bills to people who were waiting in line for food vouchers. When she ran out of cash, she went to the ATM to get more money to hand out. Although this lady gave in person and ran the risk of not being so anonymous, she meets the criteria because she was giving from the heart and refused to tell anyone who she was.

Interestingly enough, there was an excellent article at the TriValley Dispatch about Secret Santas and how their anonyomous gifts add to the mystery of the season. Giving should be about the joy of seeing someone’s face light up and not about the glory that comes with giving big gifts. Take some time this year and see if you can’t make someone’s burden a little bit lighter by being their Secret Santa. I promise that if you do, you’ll experience amazing bliss.

Crackberry-less Bliss

My Blackberry died over the weekend and it took a couple of days for my replacement to arrive. As soon as it died, I was overcome with anxiety as I wasn’t exactly sure how to behave without my constant connection to the outside world. What was I going to do with myself if I couldn’t salivate like Pavlov’s dog every time the little red light came on signifying that I was important because someone else who also has no life (sorry, no offense) was also working over the weekend and sending me emails.

I plugged into the house charger and all I got was a black screen and blinking red lights that promised so much but delivered so little. The car charger was no better and the lights mocked me as if they knew that I was frantic over the thought that someone might be trying to reach me and I was inaccessible. I tried taking the battery out and putting it back in, but no luck. While it was on the car charger, every stop sign I’d reach over and push the on button hoping that somehow it had magically been resuscitated and now was going to work. No luck no matter how long I left the button pushed in.

Getting out of the car, I put it in my pocket by habit hoping that somehow being close to me would make it realize how much I needed my crackberry fix. No luck, my body heat did not magically reinvigorate my poor dead little crackberry. I choked back the tears and realized that somehow, I would have to be strong and go on without my little friend and that whoever was frantically trying to get ahold of me would have to wait until I was accessible via those most ancient of tools: a laptop and a landline.

As the day wore on, I found myself reaching in my pocket less and less as I slowly accepted that I was going to be Crackberry-less until at least Monday. Suddenly work didn’t seem so important as I surveyed the world outside of the crackberry and realized that there were many beautiful things in the world that didn’t come on a two by three screen. I thought to myself that I should take a picture of these wonders to always remind myself that life is more than a Crackberry. I reached inside my pocket and then I remembered that not only could I not get email or phone calls, I also couldn’t take pictures and send them instantly to my friends.

I sank to my knees in the snow (okay, this is a slight exaggeration) as the horror of it all sank in and I realized that life would not be the same until that 133 gram wonder of modern technology was once again back in my pocket tethering me to the my friends, family, work, twitter, etc. etc. etc.

Okay, now that you’ve read my horror story, I have to confess that after the first day or so I really did get used to not having constant access to my email and phone and felt a strange kind of bliss at knowing that I was disconnected. It was actually harder to live without the camera as I’d gotten used to being able to snap pictures of the kids, things I wanted to blog about, or the dog instantly. So even though there were some blissful disconnected moments, I ‘m feeling much more blissful now that my crackberry is back in my pocket.

Loose Bliss

I feel incredibly good today physically, mentally, and emotionally. I got up this morning and took Cat to work and then headed home to do some housework. I started a load of dishes and laundry and then headed out to check out some office supply stores that I’d heard had a great selection of fountain pens and ink. I know it’s incredibly geeky to like office supplies so much, but I think it’s a genetic glitch as my mom, my daughter, and I all love office supplies.

The word on the street (i.e. the Internet) is that there is a cool office supply store with fountain pens in Oak Park. I pull out my trusty Telly Tubby (telnav) and map the way to what I hope is pen nirvana. It’s about a 45 minute drive and I pass the time by listening to really great music on the stereo and thinking about all the good things that have come my way lately:

  • We have a beautiful house in a nice and safe neighborhood.
  • I have a wonderful dog that we got at the pound and who has turned out to a wonderful friend and companion.
  • A few hours alone to head out and spend time by myself.
  • A great new job working for a boss I really respect

As I thought about how great my life was, I realized that my body felt loose and relaxed. I didn’t feel the tension that I usually feel in my shoulders and I felt totally relaxed and at one with the world around me. I don’t feel that way very often so I took a few minutes to savor the feeling of being relaxed and in tune with my body.

Arriving in Oak Park, I found Pieritz Brothers Office Supplies to be a small and charming store in a residential area. It was founded over a hundred years ago and has been in the same family every since. The store was chock full of the old and the new. I found some great new Lamy fountain pens and antique pens for sale. They also had some great inks that I hadn’t seen before. I purchased a few new inks and a great new notebook and a few note cards.

Googling fountain pens on the Internet had turned up another office supply store on the way home that was supposed to have a great supply of fountain pens. Unfortunately, they were closed, but I was in such a great mood that it didn’t matter and I headed home. I relished the feeling of peace and ease that I was feeling and prayed the blissful feeling would last a little bit longer.

Friendly Bliss

The last few months have been difficult both personally and professionally. Things at work are tense and stressful as my company is undergoing an extraordinary restructuring that has seen us shrink from nine major facilities to five in less than a year. One of the facilities was one where I had spent fifteen months of my life installing a major computer system. I felt as if I was kicked in the stomach back in March when they announced they were closing the facility.

My department hasn’t been immune from the challenges both internal and external. My own outspokenness and refusal to do the wrong thing landed me in the dog house back in July and it’s only been with a little help from my friends that I survived. Some of these are the ones that called my nemesis a “butter face” because everything was attractive about her “but her” face. That made me laugh and made me realize I have staunch supporters.

There are the true leaders in our department who reached out a hand of friendship to me and made me realize I do have fans and supporters and that people other than me do see the insanity of what’s going on. They’re the ones who’ve commiserated with me and helped me find ways to realize that no matter what that I did the right thing. One of these folks, made it very clear that he wanted me to manage his project and made it very clear that he thought I was doing a great job. For that I will always be grateful because my self esteem and confidence had been shake and I needed someone to believe in me.

Then there is my new boss and my new management team who waged all out war to pull me out of a bad situation and into their department. They fought battles on several fronts to make this happen and they will never know exactly how grateful I am to them for helping me to escape what had become my own personal hell.

I’ve learned so many lessons from the last few months, but the most important one is that sometimes the hand of friendship comes from the most unexpected places and it always seems to come when you need it the most. So I guess I could say that I get blissed with a little help from my friends.

Red Neck Bliss

I grew up part red neck without even knowing it. My mother’s family was large, loud, boistourous and always fighting about something. Sometimes it was like living inside a soap opera where you needed a score card to figure out who was talking to who. My father’s family wasn’t quite as boistorous but I suspect they were red necks at heart.

To my way of thinking, being a red neck isn’t about how many cars you have parked in the front yard, it isn’t about marrying your cousin, and it isn’t about eating roadkill for dinner. Being a red neck is about being honest about who you are and about calling a spade a spade. It’s about getting down and dirty and enjoying life. It’s about stomping in the mud puddles instead of walking around them.

Going away to college and joining the workforce, I tried hard to keep my red neck tendancies hidden and to fit in with the rest of the crowd. Being a red neck wasn’t cool and I wasn’t about to annouce to the world that I liked bonfires, demoliton derbies, and being honest. It took me a long time to learn that the corporate world isn’t about total honesty. It’s about putting on a mask of civility and learning to keep your friends close and your enemines closer.

I’m still trying to figure out how to reconcile my red neck roots with my need to play in the corporate playground and make a living. A few years ago I found my anthem in Gretchen Wilson’s Red Neck woman as she sings about being a product of her raising, shopping at Walmart, and playing in the dirt. I will probably never be as red neck as Gretchen, but I’m working really hard to embrace my inner red neck and to discover the bliss that comes from being real and not wearing the mask all the time.

29 Days of Giving Bliss?

I finished the 29 days of giving challenge back on November 1 and I promised that I’d right a recap about whether or not I felt it had changed my life. I’ve been pondering that question for over a month mainly because every time I thought about it, I reached the conclusion that it hadn’t changed my life and that I really didn’t see what all the hoopla was about. I kept telling myself that that must be wrong because everyone was excited about this and the author got a book published and everything so there must be something to it. However, no matter how many times I turned the question around in my head, I still reached the conclusion that the 29 days of giving had had at best a minimal impact on my life.

The big question was why did I feel it had a minimal impact on my life and that’s the question I’ve really been pondering over a month. I guess the real reason I felt it had minimal impact was because all of the things on the list are things that I would have done anyway. I always try to make the world a little bit better and to do nice things for those around me. The 29 Day challenge didn’t make me give my daughter money for homecoming, I would have done that anyway. Taking the dog for a walk had more to do with my desire for fitness than anything else and I always let someone go in front of me in line if I the person only has one or two items and I have a handful.

The next question was did my consciously noticing and recording the things I’d given and sharing them with the 29 days community make a change in my life and if anything I think that had a negative impact on my life because I felt like I was bragging about doing the right thing. I didn’t need praise or recognition for the gifts and kindness I was sharing because I knew in my heart I’d done the right thing and that meant more than sharing them on a list with others.

As I was trolling through the Internet to get ideas for how to sum this up, I came across several random acts of kindness sites where people recount how kindnesses done by loved ones or strangers have changed their lives. To me it was much more meaningful to read stories from people who recognized the gifts given to them and how those gifts changed their lives.

My life has changed tremendously since I’ve started this blog as I’m consciously looking for the good things in life and recognizing those has led me to a more consistent state of bliss. Life still isn’t perfect, but recognizing the gifts of bliss in my life seems to in a weird sort of way lead to more gifts of bliss in my life.