Ace of Air – Cairn by Cairn

Ace of Air
Dark Goddess Tarot

First Impressions: The first impressions of Nemesis are not positive. I get the impression that she is pointing at someone and giving them unsolicited advice or shaming them. However, she isn’t waving her sword around so I guess unsolicited advice is better than the alternative. I do love the colors on this card as the gold of her tunic is a slightly lighter color than the gold of the field. The ace of swords always tells me that this is about cutting through bullshit.

Book: The first step in discernment: Perceive what exists. Grants the knowledge of what is right and good. Enforcing the limits beyond one which one should not perceive.

Guidance: Apply objectivity to achieve clarity, mediate your ego, stay nimble, moderate your sacrifice.

Journaling:

I like the reminders in this card. It is more guidance to stay in the middle path. I also have to be objective. I know this who reorganization is nt about me at all, but my ego is feeling shuffled to the side so I’m a tad annoyed that I have to let go of my feelings. No! I don’t need to let go, I need to acknowledge.

December 28, 2017

I have grown so much in the last year and I am so much better about not making it all about me. Okay, that’s not exactly true, I do tend to make it all about me, but then I talk myself off the ledge and I see things more rationally. Watching yourself grow up is a pretty cool experience!

Journaling:

Oddly enough, I initially read this card as reversed as the butterfly is hanging upside down. To me this card reversed would be about cocooning and not being ready to go through a change. However, the card is actually upright and shows me blossoming and being ready to spread my wings and fly.

I think I’m finally in a place were I can really love. I can accept that I am worthy of love and worthy to be someone’s partner.

December 25, 2017

Last year in a lot of ways was about laying the groundwork for being ready for love. It was about understanding what unconditional love is and what it isn’t. Unconditional love is about loving someone in spite of their annoying habits and idiosyncrasies, but it is not about loving someone who is abusive. It is also not about sacrificing yourself on the altar of love. John demanded sacrifices that I wasn’t willing or ready to give and his favorite line was, “Well if you loved me, you would..” However, that’s not what love is. Love is not about forcing or guilting someone in to doing something. It is about giving and receiving love with an open heart.

Love doesn’t mean that you have the right to demand someone sacrifice themselves for you. You can accept someone’s sacrifice, but you cannot demand it. John constantly browbeat me and manipulated me under the pretense of love. I’m strong enough now to accept and realize that if he truly loved me, he would not have demanded the sacrifices he demanded.

I’m so proud of how much I have grown and matured in the past year because I am in a place where I understand what love is and I understand that it is okay to say no to someone you love and that it is okay to set boundaries with someone you love.