Author: Raine Shakti

Raine Shakti believes in living her life cairn by cairn and in helping others learn to do the same. Her day job is in the training and communications field and her best professional experiences are when she is able to empower people. She has spent the last few years reclaiming her life and her inner warrior. Part of this journey was becoming an ordained priestess with the Fellowship of Isis. Her Matron deities are Nephthys who has helped her become a true virgin woman, the Morrigan who has taught her what it means to be sovereign, and Yemaya who has taught her the strength in having a loving heart.

Daily Draw: King of Cups

First Impressions: Emotional control

Book: Fortunate in your achievements, there are things in your life that give you satisfaction

Guidance: Be aware of focusing on what you don’t have, nurture your emotions

Journaling

I needed this reminder today to focus on what I have instead of what is missing from my life. I am so blessed that we found my daughter last night, but I really want to hurt the guy who raped her. However, she isn’t dead and that is a blessing. I was so terrified last night. I felt like I aged 100 years in the 30 minutes she wasn’t answering her phone.

I know that we saved her life by his knowing we were coming. I have to admit that I am so angry and sad today. I’m angry that she gave a stranger a ride, I’m sad that she was hurt, and I’m so angry at him. However, the overwhelming feeling today is gratitude that she is alive. I’m grateful that she knows she can call me at any time and that she did. It could have been so much worse, if the rapist hadn’t known that she had people who loved her and were looking for her.

October 27, 2018

It has been a year and I still want him dead. The case is slowly winding its way through the court system, but as the anniversary comes up, she is getting really anxious and angry and sad. The worst part is that I will not be here for her. However, we will figure out a plan so that she feels supported and knows that she is loved.

Daily Draw: Nine of Swords

First Impressions: Nightmares

Book: Troubled by a larger problem, alone and closed out

Guidance: Reach out and get comfort, be aware of isolation and let someone in to guide and comfort you

Journaling:

It is hard for me right now for me and I find myself continually disappointed by people. I reached out to the UU’s stupid Laughter in Our Lives group and they disappointed me. Not one of the people reached out to say, “Hope your daughter is okay.” Instead they just harassed me and were rude. Forget them, I do not need that kind of BS in my life.

November 20, 2017

I have to look at things realistically and in a balanced way. What would I have done if an acquaintance had said her daughter was hurt? I would have said I’m sorry and asked what I could do. However, not one of those bitches did that. I don’t want to be associated with people like that and if that is the level of support the church provides, then forget it. It isn’t that I need everyone fawning all over me, but an acknowledgement would have been nice.

October 26, 2018

I’m getting chills realizing that I pulled the nightmare card on the day one of my worst nightmares came true. My daughter was abducted and assaulted. There was a period of an hour or so where we did not know where she was and I was terrified that she was dead. Fortunately, we got to her and even though she is struggling, she is still alive and is still being the amazing fighter that she is.

Daily Draw: Seven of Swords

First Impressions: Being sneaky

Book: Actions have consequences

Guidance: Review your plan and reconsider if it seems fool hardy

Journaling

I’m not sure that I agree that the actions of this gentleman were foolhardy. Sometimes we have to take bold actions and break the rules. I think this card is also a reminder that there are consequences, but that sometimes the consequences are worth it.

November 20, 2017
There are consequences, but sometimes the sneaky acts that are seen as deceptive are worth it. How do we know that he the people he is “stealing” from, did not take something from him first.

October 26, 2018

My understanding of this card has continued to evolve and I still view it as taking back something that was taken from us. There are times in life when we have to reclaim what is ours and there are times when we cannot make a full frontal attack, but we need to be sneaking and deceptive because the person holding it does not want to give it back to us.

Daily Draw: The Chariot

First Impressions: Moving forward, forward momentum

Book: Card of victory, immense power and focus of the woman’s mind

Guidance: Willpower and control, recognize your own strength and ability to maintain order in the midst of chaos

Journaling

I love the message of this card. I love being reminded that I am strong and capable and that I can accomplish so much more than I think I can. I sometimes get so caught up in listening to the voices of my past that I don’t make time for my future.

I can and do accomplish great things.

This is a year for turning my focus inward and achieving things for myself and not for everyone else. Sometimes I get so caught up in taking care of others that I forget to take care of me. This year is all about self love and self care.

November 20, 2017

I’m being challenged this year to set boundaries for others. X could consume me if I chose to let her. I have to trust that even though she has bipolar she is strong and capable. As long as I see no signs that she is manic, I need to let her make her own mistakes, but that is a really hard thing to do.

October 26, 2018

The past year has been difficult and amazing. It is almost a year later and we are still dealing with the affects of her assault. Even though in a lot of ways she is stronger, she still gets scared and afraid sometimes. However, because I’ve been better at managing boundaries in all of my life, I have been so much better about being able to be present for her and to really be there when she needs me. A lot of that has to do with being able to be present for myself and to really value myself.

Eight of Water

Eight of Water
Dark Goddess Tarot

First Impressions: Sedna is always a goddess of deep despair for me based on her story. She is a powerful goddess who withholds animals from the Inuit unless they confess their taboos and appease her. She always strikes me as cold and unfeeling as if the trauma that her father put her through (cutting off her fingers) left her permanently devoid of compassion.

Book: Going deep is not an easy task, let it be worthwhile. Sedna reigns in the deep dark oceans, past the place of final breath. Sedna was betrayed by one who loved her, one she trusted, and one who was responsible to care for her. When she is treated with respect, she will release the animals from the deep and allow her people to partake of the bounty of the sea.

Guidance: Sedna’s guidance tells us to care for the child who has been betrayed. She also tells us to look at old wounds we may have below the surface and to understand the links between those woulds and our woulds.

Journaling:

Wow! This is powerful stuff and it sums up a lot of where I’m at. I’ve been betrayed and sold out by people who were supposed to love and cherish me and it hurts a lot.

Luke
February 14, 2004 to July 21, 20117
RIP

I’ve been feeling Sedna lately as I feel the despair and the betrayal. It feels as if I’m swimming in a deep soup of emotions and I’m scared to let go because I’m scared I will drown in these painful emotions. I’m scared of truly feeling my grief for Luke because I’m scared that once I let the sorrow flow out, I won’t be able to turn it back off. I’m scared to go back to the deep dark place that I was after John left. I thought I would never be able to come out of the darkness.

Message from Sedna:

There is a difference, Raine. Your’ grief for Luke is pure and unadulterated by anger or a sense of betrayal! Luke loved you with everything he had. There were no games or using. It was pure unadulterated love. You can’t say that with John as there were always games.

December 18, 2017

Dear Sedna,

Thank you for the reminder that Luke’s love was pure and unadulterated. I’ve been feeling disloyal to Luke because I’ve been fallling in love with Clark because he is so cute and energetic. I’m realizing that loving Clark doesn’t dishonor Luke. It is about opening my heart and there is room in my heart for both of them.

December 27, 2017

Wow! This was amazingly powerful! I’ve been feeling a lot of grief right now. This time of year is hard for me as all of the drama I’ve been through and the body memories from all the painful stuff that has happened in November and December. I think a lot of what I’m feeling comes down to grief and learning to grieve well. I’m realizing that it is okay to feel my feelings and that I don’t have to stuff them. If I am honest and feel my feelings when I feel them, they do not become so scary and overwhelming.

Inequality in the Sixes

I woke up this week and realized I’ve lived my entire life as a six. Before the self love crowd starts getting on me about denigrating my appearance, let me clear I’m not talking about how I look, I’m talking about tarot cards. As I get more and more familiar with tarot, I’m learning to really pick out patterns and apply them to my own life. It also helps when the cards smack us upside the head with something again and again. For me, pulling the sixes over and over again has helped me realize all the ways I’ve fostered inequality in my life.

Financial Inequality

Druidcraft Six of Pentacles

The six of pentacles is about financial inequality. The first six of pentacles card I saw was the six of pentacles from the Druidcraft deck and I hated the card because to me it was all about people asking more from a poor old man than he had to give. I shuttered every time I pulled that card because it reminded me of all the times I’d been asked to give more than I had. As I studied (and acquired) more and more decks, I realized that most decks showed a more affluent person giving money to others and not a beggar being asked to give up his last dime.

Although the traditional image was less disturbing for me than the Druidcraft deck, it still represented financial inequality as someone with a lot of money was giving to someone with less money. I thought about the very few times in my life I’d been receiving from others and about how difficult it was to ask for a handout and admit I couldn’t make my own way.

Hansen Roberts Six of Pentacles

I also thought about the many more times I had been on the giving side of the equation. Being on the giving side of the equation brings with it its own set of issues. As a parent, we have all of the money and it is our job to give it to our children as needed. However, I know from my personal experience there’s been a lot of times where I’ve fallen back on the “we can’t afford it” line instead of being honest with my kids and saying we could afford it, but I don’t think it is the best way to spend our money. An unfortunate result of the “we can’t afford it” line is that my children have developed poverty consciousness and think we can’t afford anything. I’m working hard to change that by being honest about when we really can’t afford something and when it is not the best use of our money.

Unfortunately, we live in six of pentacles society where money is a measuring stick and people who can bring in more money are rewarded more than others even though a person making less money may be making the bigger contribution to society. Executives are paid more than teachers even though teachers make a far more valuable contribution to society.

I fell into the money as a measuring stick mind set during my marriage as I made significantly more than my now ex-husband and toward the end of our marriage money became a weapon of control. My feelings were since I made the money I got to choose where to spend it. I chose not to look at the other contributions he made and based it solely on who made the most. One of the lessons I learned from my marriage is that money is not the only measuring stick and that I need to look at people more holistically.

Emotional Inequality

RWS Six of Cups

When taken at face value, the six of cups is a charming card with an older child giving a smaller child a cup of flowers. The card seems to be about nostalgia, about having a big brother to take care of you, and about a happy childhood or, as one site says, the card is about simple goodness. And all of those things are true, but there is a darker side to the six of cups.

I did a spread where I asked what I had learned about love from various couples and for one couple the six of cups came up. Looking at the textbook definition of goodness and happiness, I was confused as I’d know that this couple had a miserable marriage where she made the money and he took advantage of her. I had an ah ha moment where I realized that the six of cups could also be about emotional inequality with one person being more invested in the relationship than the other or about one person taking advantage of the other person.

I gained an even deeper understanding of this card when I kept pulling it when asking about my relationship with a certain someone. At first, I viewed it as a happy card, but when I started to compare it to the two of cups which shows two people sharing a cup; I realized that when it came to adult relationships, this card was either about one person being rescued by another or one person taking advantage of another. When I truly reflected upon my relationship with this person, I realized it was both. My friend is a guy who likes to rescue damsels in distress and a lot of our relationship was built on that inequality. On the flip side, I know that he likes to rescue damsels in distress so if I was feeling a little sad or lonely, I’d be the damsel in distress and he’d rush to my rescue.

Those realizations made me really think about the type of relationships I want in my life and even more fundamentally about who I wanted to be in my own life. I realized that I don’t want to be a damsel in distress. I want to be an equal so I want a two of cups relationship and not a six of cups relationship.

Status Inequality

The six of wands and the six of swords represent the two sides of the status inequality coin: the six of wands shows the exalted hero riding in to the cheers of his adoring fans and the six of swords shows the gondolier as servant being ignored by his passengers. As I reflected on these cards, I realized I’m more comfortable in either of these roles than in a role as an equal.

Six of Wands

My roles as consultant, teacher, and leader reflect the six of wands as I love to stand at the front of the room and lecture and give advice. It’s not only the praise and adoration I love, it is the disconnection. I don’t have to engage in real conversation with people and let them in. As I look back over my life, I realize I’m really comfortable in the roles of organizing and teaching because they give a purpose to my interactions. When I’m teaching, I’m talking on a specific topic and even if I don’t have a prepared speech, I know the material well enough that I can speak convincingly. I’m also passionate enough about what I do that my lectures appear to be heartfelt, but they’re really not because it’s difficult for me to truly let people in and engage in a heartfelt conversation. Being above the crowd insulates me from other people’s messy feelings and emotions.

Six of Swords

If being a six of wands lets me be above the fray, slipping into the six of swords persona lets me fly below the radar. As long as I do my job and meet my obligations, I don’t have to engage with people on a personal level. I take their orders and don’t let them in to see the real me. I’ve been working as a consultant for the past six years and that’s the perfect job for an introvert who doesn’t let people in because everyone knows the day I walk in the door that the gig is temporary. I’ll be there for six months or so and then I’ll move on. There is no point to getting close to people because I’ll be gone soon.

A Lonely Way to Live

Living as six is a very lonely way to live because there aren’t true heartfelt connections of equals. Everything is about dominating or being dominated and at the end of the day it is about fear. Fear of not being good enough and fear of letting people in. So my challenge is to dig deep within myself to find the courage to let people in so I can be a two of cups instead of a six.

Forgiveness in the Fours

I’ve been working on forgiving my abusive ex since the day he walked out the door seven years ago. I was holding on to anger over his using me, abusing me, and then throwing me away. Like many abused women, I stayed because I didn’t know how to survive without him. However, unlike many abused women I was perfectly capable of supporting myself. I stayed because I’d been brought up to believe a woman was nothing without a man. While praying and choosing to forgive were the actions, it was a journey through the fours that helped me to truly find the path to peace and forgiveness.

It seemed odd to me that it would be the fours that would take me on my journey of forgiveness because they are the cards of stability, of resting, of practicality, of achievement, and of humility. As I meditated on how the fours relate to forgiveness, the words practicality and humility were flashing at me in neon letters and I realized that forgiving is the practical action because forgiving frees my heart from the anger and resentment I’ve been lugging around and lets me move on and be happy.

Humility is the state of being humble and without pride, which for me means accepting that it’s not all about me. Over the last week, I’d gone on an emotional road trip through my past inspired by the Page of Cups and I realized that so many of the things I was holding on to had affected me, but really weren’t about me. My married best friend choosing g to spend less time with me was about choosing to put his family first, my ex-husband’s abuse and choosing to leave after 22 years of marriage was about his emotional issues and wasn’t about me at all. My mother raising me the way she did was about her skill set as a parent and not about me at all. None of these things that were weighing me down were not really my baggage to carry.

Once I’d accepted the practicality of forgiving and gotten off my high horse (six of wands if anyone is keeping score), I turned to the tarot to help plot my course to forgiveness and it was the fours that provided the roadmap.

Death (XIII=4)

The Death card is all about change and when it started showing up in my readings, I knew that I had to embrace change and be willing to move on, which would require forgiving and letting go of the past. That wasn’t something I really wanted to do because there was a part of me that really wanted my ex to pay for what he’d done.

As I delved deeper into Death, I realized that I had known the relationship was over (dead) long before he walked out the door, but I had been holding on to something that wasn’t healthy for me. As I was reading the meanings of the death card, a line from Psychic-Revelation struck me, “Not all relationships are fixable. Don’t beat your head against a wall for very long. You’ll know when it’s “long enough.” I had to smile as I recognized my own behavior.

As I got mired in the anger, resentment, and self-blame, Death Reversed began making appearances in my readings telling me that I was reluctant to change and that to heal I had to let go of things I knew were not healthy for me.

Four of Pentacles

Death was not the only card showing up to tell me I wasn’t accepting change. Over and over again in readings related to emotional health and growth I pulled the Four of Pentacles. As the greedy little miser looked out at me from multiple decks, I felt the anger and resentment course through my veins as I was hoarding these emotions and refusing to let go. All of those negative emotions were being hoarded in my body and were slowly strangling me.

The cards often have a sense of humor and when I asked how to heal emotionally, the four of pentacles reversed showed up to tell me that in order to heal I had to release all the anger, resentment, and negativity. In short, I had to forgive.

Four of Swords

The Four of Swords is about taking a break and letting your soul heal. When the four of swords turned up, I knew I needed to step back and quit fighting life so hard. I had to stop trying to control the world and I had to let go. I could no longer hold on to all the anger (swords) I was carrying in my heart. I had to take a break from the pain I was carrying.

For someone who has carried a lot of pain around for a lot of years, taking a break from the pain was really difficult. The Four of Swords was telling me to just STOP. Stop being angry, stop being resentful, stop driving yourself crazy thinking about where he was, what he was doing, and why did he get to be happy when I wasn’t. I started by consciously redirecting my thoughts every time I thought about him, every time I started to get jealous and ask why he had love and I didn’t, and every time I was angry about him not helping support the kids. Redirecting your thoughts is often not an easy process and there were days I had to stop, breathe, and redirect multiple times, but eventually I stopped obsessing.

Four of Cups

The Four of Cups served as a reminder that I was choosing to live in poverty consciousness. I was so concerned about what other people had “done to me” that I wasn’t accepting the wonders and blessings that were right in front of my face. Instead of focusing on the fact that I have people who love me, I have a beautiful house, I’m healthy, and all of those blessings, I was wasting my life in anger and resentment over something that was never going to change.

The universe was literally holding out a cup of wonderful stuff and I was saying no because I was focused on the past. The realization that I was choosing to live in poverty consciousness was a cold wet slap in the face as pulling this card made me realize that I was deliberately choosing to be a victim.

Emperor (IV)

The role of victim is not one I’ve ever aspired to and when I asked the cards how to get out of the victim role and move on, the Emperor started showing up. At first, I wasn’t exactly sure what the Emperor was trying to tell me because I’ve relate the emperor to a male authority figure. However, a little bit of reading soon revealed that the Emperor was telling me to take control of my own life. I could choose to be a victim or I could choose to move on and let go. The Emperor is all about structure and rules and one of his specialties is making order out of chaos.

The chaos in this case was my unruly ego telling me that in order for me to forgive people, they had to grovel and be worthy of my forgiveness. As long as I was caught up in believing that, I would stay mired in misery and pain. I had to make a conscious decision to choose the logical choice of forgiving over my heart’s choice of resentment.

Four of Wands

Following the twisting and winding path of the fours has led me to the happy and harmonious Four of Wands. As Biddy Tarot says, “This card indicates a sense of harmony and balance as well as completion, and thus symbolises a time of peace and joy in life that come as the result of often difficult and challenging effort. The Four of Wands is one of the most positive cards in the Tarot deck and indicates general good fortune, satisfaction, and fulfillment.”

I feel after all the heartache and pain of the last few years, I have finally found the serenity and peace that true forgiveness offers thanks to the help of the Fours.

Serenity Spread

Serenity can be an easy concept to grasp, but a hard emotion to master. As I’ve been doing more and more lately, I turned to my Tarot cards to help me figure out how to have serenity in my life.

I developed a spread based on my personal adaption of the serenity prayer:

Deity,

Grant me gratitude for all that I have

Grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change

Grant me courage to change the things I can

And grant me the wisdom to know the difference

Grant me patience to accept the changes that take time

Grant me compassion and grace for those with different struggles

And the strength to get up and try again, one day at a time

Blessed Be

The Spread

This spread is designed to ask for guidance on key attributes from the prayer.

Card 1–What am I grateful for?
Card 2–What in my life can’t I change? What are the things I have to accept?
Card 3–What in my life can I change? What things do I need to have courage to change?
Card 4–How will I know the difference?
Card 5–How can I be patient?
Card 6–How can I be compassionate toward others?
Card 7–How can I find my strength?
Card 8–How can I find my serenity?

My reading

Card 1–What am I grateful for?

Eight of Wands (R)

The opportunity to slow down and take my time instead of rushing full steam ahead. Although rushing full speed ahead is exciting, it doesn’t give me the opportunity to be thoughtful and methodical.

Card 2–What in my life can’t I change? What are the things I have to accept?

Moon

My intuition and my connectedness. Even though I sometimes try to disconnect, the connection is always there and when I am out of alignment, I feel it. I also can’t change that there is chaos and confusion. I cannot control the world.

Card 3–What in my life can I change? What things do I need to have courage to change?

King of Pentacles (R)

I can change my attitude and quit being a snob about money and valuing people based on how much they make. I can also change my financial situation and my own attitude toward money and move from poverty consciousness to prosperity consciousness.

Card 4–How will I know the difference?

7 of Cups (R)

I can let go of delusions especially around thinking that I have control of all situations. I can come down to earth and let go of false hopes.

Card 5–How can I be patient?

Page of Wands (R)

I can let things go and accept that it is not all about me. I can also accept that other people are sometimes slower than I am and that life gets complicated sometimes.

Card 6–How can I be compassionate toward others?

Knight of Wands (R)

I can let go of my ego and accept that not everyone has the same interests and skills that I do. I need to look at the bigger picture and not be so selfish and all about my own self interests.

Card 7–How can I find my strength?

Five of Swords (R)

I put down my sword and quit being on the defensive all the time: My strength is in vulnerability. Additionally I can open myself up to change.

Card 8–How can I find my serenity?

Queen of Wands (R)

I can get organized and I can support and applaud other people. I need to let go of my jealousy and competitive spirit.

My Artwork

Here is the background I created for this spread. I modeled it after a painting that I

have called SkyFan.

And here it is with the copies of the cards glued on.

BEAR Spread

I’ve been feeling a little out of sorts lately for a lot of reasons. I’ve got a great new job, but I’m not traveling and I’m home doing a lot of administrative stuff until I get placed on a project. It’s great getting paid, but I’m getting a little bored and am missing human interaction. I’m also lonely because work provides a lot of my people interaction. I generally travel four days a week, have intense interactions with people at work, and then I’m home for three days. That normally suits me well, but I’ve been home for the better part of two months and I am bored, lonely, and a little depressed.

All of the above are contributing to my feelings, but I wanted to know if there was something else behind it so I created the BEAR spread. BEAR is the acronym I use for how I deal with anger and other uncomfortable emotions. It stands for:

Breathe–I take deep breaths, meditation, do whatever it takes to calm down so I’m rational and not out of my mind with anger.
Embrace--It’s all too easy for me to shame myself for having “negative” emotions like anger or fear so I remind myself that anger, rage, etc. are normal human emotions.
Analyze--Sometimes the reason for my anger is clear, but other times it takes a little digging to figure out what I’m really feeling.
Release–After I know what i’m feeling, I take time to release my feelings. If I’m lonely I cry, if I’m angry at someone I might talk to them, or I might smash dishes to release my anger.

Since I wasn’t sure quite was bothering me, I decided to pull some cards to figure it out and I designed the BEAR spread.

Card 1–Breathe (How can I deal with my feelings right now?)
Card 2–Embrace (How can I embrace my feelings right now?)
Card 3–Analyze (What am I really feeling? What is the real trigger?)
Card 4–Release (How can I release my anger/sadness, etc. right now?)
Card 5–Outcome (what is the outcome?)

The cards I pulled were all reversed, which in itself tells me that I have some analysis and self work to do. None of them were overly bad, but all serve as a warning that I need to evaluate my emotions and figure things out.

Card 1–Breathe (How can I deal with my feelings right now?)

Five of Pentacles (R)

The five of pentacles reversed is telling me that I need to come in from the cold. The only way to solve the isolation and loneliness I’m feeling is to reach out to people. There are resources available, but I have to choose to take advantage of them. I get this card a lot so I think I really need to pay attention to it.

Card 2–Embrace (How can I embrace my feelings right now?)

Two of Pentacles (R)

I need to stop juggling the balls that are everyone else’s and focus on what is mine. I need to set boundaries with my kids and hold them accountable. I also have to put myself first sometimes which means not staying up until midnight when my son comes home from work. If there is a problem, he will call me and my staying up is not going to do anything except make me exhausted. I need to quit numbing myself with sugar and pay attention to what I eat and quit making excuses for eating garbage.

Card 3–Analyze (What am I really feeling? What is the real trigger?)

King of Pentacles (R)

The King of Pentacles reversed is telling me a lot. He’s telling me that I’m wondering if my only value to people is what I bring to the table financially. Do people really like me or is it what I can do for them? And that ties back to my primary social outlet being work. Another of the meanings is that I’m afraid of commitment and I don’t have people in my life because of my fear. And this theme shows up in almost every reading I do. I’m not thrilled, but my guess is that it will keep showing up until I do something about it.

Card 4–Release (How can I release my anger/sadness, etc. right now?)

Queen of Swords (R)

The Queen is telling me I’ve been letting my emotions rule and it is time to sit back and use my brain as well as my heart. Yes I may feel lonely, but for me loneliness right now is a a choice because I am choosing not to go out and meet people. I need to analyze and use my brain to come up with a solution.

Card 5–Outcome (what is the outcome?)

Page of Wands (R)

The Page is telling me that new friendships, relationships, etc. will not be handed to me. I need to take the queens advice and use my brain to start planning outings where I will meet people. I also have to quit using my job as an excuse because I’ve been home for eight weeks and still haven’t really ventured out much.

I’m not terribly thrilled with what these cards are telling me, but I realize that like all messages from the cards they are telling me that I am personally responsible and that it is within my power to change my life. And maybe that’s not such a bad thing.

I also wanted to share a picture of my unadorned Bear Claw. I created this two years ago in honor of The Morrigan.

Moon

Moon
Dark Goddess Tarot

First Impressions: I didn’t like this card the first time I saw it as it felt like there was a snake or worm encircling the moon. However, the more I’ve meditated on it and spent time with it, I’m more appreciative of the beauty of the card. It shows Adrianhod weaving the moon. I like that her silver wheel is the Wheel of Time, but of the seasons and reincarnation. My first impressions of this card are it is a time for intuition, but also the possibility of being disillusioned.

Book: Weaver creating destiny, guide in the realm of the soul, shapeshifter, manifesting destiny

Guide: Let change unfold, look for meanings and guidance, let your imagination journey

Journaling:

Cairn
Bell Tower in Sedona, AZ

I needed to hear this guidance about letting things manifest differently than desired. I need to trust deity and I do’t do a good job with trust. I think I am such an absolute control freak because I don’t trust anyone. I need to go back and listen to the lessons of the cairns that they provided in Arizona. I need to see the first cairn, walk to it, then walk to the next cairn. I do not need to be shown the whole path at once.

December 18, 2017

I’m realizing that one of the reasons tarot appeals to me is that it appeals to both my logic and my intuition.