October 12, 2022
Deck: Tarot de St. Croix
First Impressions:
Book: This is the time to be recognized for your inner star and achievements
Guidance: Believe your dreams will come true
Journaling:
This is such an interesting card for me as I have always believed in my hopes and dreams, especially around love. However, after all the energy that I put into being with Blaze and that didn’t happen, it left me a little broken hearted. I felt as if I believed and I wanted it so much, but then it didn’t happen.
I do know that if I want something and it doesn’t come true, it probably was not meant to be. However, that situation left me feeling so alone and bereft. I felt as if i was abandoned. I know now that getting with Blaze was probably the worst thing that could happen to me as I would have felt the need to be less than and to conform with what he wanted and expected. However, that isn’t who I am and I should never have to be less than to be with anyone.
Where I’m At: I’m in Allentown and we had a good day of sessions, then I went to the game for a little bit. It was nice to hang out and socialize.
Weather: The weather is absolutely beautiful. It is just cool enough to walk, but not too cool
Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous 92%
Sunrise / Sunset: 7:08/6:28
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August 4, 2022
Deck: Secrets of the Rose Tarot
First Impressions: This is one of the most beautiful star cards I’ve ever seen. I love how she is standing and not kneeling and the water streaming from her containers looks almost like streams. I also love the star on her forehead
Book: Hope, revitalization, optimism, healing, love, bright expectations, idealism
Guidance: keep the faith
Journaling:
This was the card that I needed to pull today. I was in a really sad and depressed mood this morning. I love having time off, but I hate the thought of having to go back to a job that I really hate and where I feel underutilized. I am smart, hard working, and able to think strategically and there seems to be no where for me to go at the Nest. I’m doing three jobs right now and I’m still bored. I honestly don’t know if it is because I don’t really like the company or what. All I know is that I really want a new challenge and I don’t know where that’s at.
Although I woke up in a cranky mood this morning, I did start feeling better after I took time to celebrate Lammas and to really sit back and remind myself that life is good right now.
Where I’m At: I’m at home today and still on PTO and it was an awesome day. I went to Li Wah for lunch and bought some pouches for my new tarot cards. And I cooked an amazing dinner. I made the herb cheese bread that everyone likes, the raspberry custard desert that is so yummy, trout, and potato and corn chowder. I also took the time to create our Lammas Altar so all in all it was a good day.
Weather: It was nice out this morning, but it got hot and gross this afternoon. It was 90 when I came home from my running and I did not want to do anything.
Moon Phase: Waxing Crescent 40%
Sunrise / Sunset: 6:22 / 8:41
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July 16, 2022
Deck: Intuitive Night Goddess Tarot
Card Name: Star
First Impressions: I love this card as it keeps the traditional elements of the cad such as one foot in the water and one foot out and pouring water on the land and in the water, but it mixes it up with her standing and the water coming from her hand.
Book: Renewal, hope, transformation, spiritual trust
Guidance: Allow your creativity flow and see what blossoms
Journaling:
Today has been a day of renewal. I’ve deliberately chosen to take the day to be quiet and take care of myself. There is a lot to do around the house, but I’ve realized that I matter more than cleaning the house. I need to take care of myself and I’ve chosen to do that today.
I’m also thinking about what I want to be when I grow up and I realize I would actually really like to be a reader and shaman and help people. I have no clue how to do that, but I’m putting it out there and we will see what happens. Even if I can’t do that full time, I want to spend at least some energy helping people. It was an interesting day today as I finished my posting for The Tarot Blog Hop and I realized that I really do know quite a bit about tarot and that I’m getting better and better at reading the cards and giving indepth and insightful reads.
Where I’m At: I am at home today and since I got home so late, I decided to just have a nice slow day. I ran to the store to get some food, but other than that I’ve been taroting and just hanging out.
Weather: It was actually fairly nice out today as it didn’t even hit 80 and it was overcast and rained slightly I love days when it is misty and rainy.
Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous 89%
Sunrise / Sunset: 6:04 am / 8:59 pm
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Deck: Tarot of Little Secrets
First Impressions: Ghostly action, fairy godmother, looking over people
Book: Hope, renewal, cleansing, guidance, being authentically seen, regeneration
Guidance: Becoming yourself is a journey
Journaling:
This was a hard weekend as I spent most of it writing about the emotions surrounding abortion and that was very triggering for me and made me very sad. I know that I made the right decision, for the right reasons, but it is devastating to think about women who are harassed and harangued for having the audacity to believe they are mature enough to make their own decisions. And people like Amy Cunt Barrett sit in judgement of people who know they cannot afford children and choose to do the right thing for their own families. That bitch has no business making decisions for others.
However, one of the lessons I am working on right now is accepting what I cannot control. I have no say or influence over the supreme court and I have to trust that things will work out the way they are supposed to. I have be honest and say it is a very scary time to be female in this country as all the cards seemed stacked against us. There are so many days when I feel like I have absolutely no hope because the world seems to be getting worse and worse. I don’t know what to do, but continue to pray and do the best I can.
Where: I’m at home today and I have spent a lot of time sleeping because my body is exhausted from the stress of traveling and just getting through each day.
Weather: It was cold today, but clear
Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous, 99%
Sunrise / Sunset: 6:41 am / 8:10 pm
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February 4, 2022
First Impressions: Hope, love, peace, I love how she is snuggling her sleeping lamb, being unafraid
Book: Hope, serenity, inspiration, insight, spirituality
Guidance: Stay calm and open to possibilities. See the situation with open eyes, mind, and heart
Journaling:
I needed this message today as I have been feeling so hopeless and trapped. The snow outside means that we can’t go anywhere and after over two years of being trapped by Covid, the feeling of being trapped is overwhelming. I like the reminder to see the situation with open eyes, mind, and heart. My heart and emotions are all over the place today as I feel as If I’ve been put in a very small box and I’m never going to be able to escape. However, when I look with my eyes and mind, I know that this is just winter and even though it is bad, it is not the worst ever. Eventually, the snow will melt and the world will open up again. Staying calm is important because then my emotions don’t take over and I can look at the situation rationally instead of getting swirly.
Where I’m At: I’m home today, but feeling trapped in the house as we have about 10 inches of snow on the ground.
Mood: I’m sad and depressed as I feel so trapped.
Weather: It is only 18 degrees and while it is clear now, it looks like we might get a little more snow.
Moon Phase: Crescent, waxing
Sunrise / Sunset: 7:35 am/ 5:47 pm
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April 30, 2020
It sometimes amazes me how well the cards I pull go together. In this instance, the Star from The Lightseer’s Tarot is telling me that this is a time of healing from traumatic events and that my soul purpose is being laid out while Eternity from The Journey Oracle tells me my path is being laid out in front of me in glittering stardust.
What I find most interesting about this combination is that Chris-Anne in the book for The Lightseer’s Tarot says “She sends a message of divine timing and renewed expectations, and she guides you to reach for that string of serendipity and faith.” How much more serendipitous could it be to have the star card show up all glittery and “stardusty” and another card that talks about following the trail of stardust. I got shivers when I pulled these two cards as each felt like a reaffirmation of the other. However, while some equate serendipity with chance, I believe that when we have faith and do the work, serendipity happens.
I’ve also realized over the years that faith isn’t just in the mind, it also has to take the form of action and of being willing to continue to connect even when there are no results. Faith means showing up and praying and meditating most every day, it means living a life that is in line with my values and continuing to do the right thing even when it is hard. We are living in hard and uncertain times and it would be easy to stop giving to charity, to stop buying high quality food, and to take a million other measures that would represent fear. I’m making a deliberate choice to not be afraid and to choose to believe that what I put out there will be returned. That doesn’t mean that I’m being stupid and spending wildly, but I am working to balance prudence and faith.
Another part of the Star card that was interesting to me is that this represents healing from trauma and that is something that is always important to me. My word for this year was heal and what I’ve been learning is that for me healing means opening my heart and being willing to listen to what I’m being told, even if it isn’t something that I want to hear.
February 4, 2022 Revisit
Okay, it is pretty hysterical that my word for 2020 was heal as that was the start of this god awful thing known as Covid.
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Deck: World Spirit Tarot
First Impressions: Ungrounded, not focused
That was my problem with my marriage is that I thought if I loved more or differently then he would love me, but he had no love to give so my continuing to give love only depleted me. In a truly giving relationship love flows both ways and the love is continually recycled. My marriage was not a giving and healthy relationship and the love was only flowing one way and when I got depleted and had nothing left to give, he left. I know that is not his version of reality and his version of reality paints him as a victim, but he chose to be a victim and he chose to blame everyone else for his mistakes. I said yesterday that Sean having seen how he treated Michelle opened Sean’s eyes to his father’s flaws, but I think it has opened my eyes as well. Seeing how he blamed her for not being able to continue to love him made me realize that he did the same thing to me.
It also helped me to see that love truly is a verb and it is not just something you give, it is something you actively work toward. It is a million small gestures and it takes work to love someone. In some ways a bad marriage is very much like a dead end job where you give and give and give and you get nothing back. The love in a marriage has to be mutual or it doesn’t work.
However, I do believe that blessings can be unlimited and that I can send blessings to someone without it being a drain on my energy. I have started to flip my thinking and when I am going to say F* you to someone, I’m going to start saying Be Blessed instead. It may not impact them, but it will impact me as I’ll be putting out positive thoughts instead of negative thoughts.
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| Stars Dark Goddess Tarot |
Book: Small things hold the earth in the heavans, she draws light and lfie from the darkness, creating through her thoughts keeps the sky from leaving.
Guidance: The more you reach for what inspires you, the more your purpose becomes clear. Act in alignment with your beliefs. Use stability. You are part of a network
Journaling:
I love the messages of Spider Woman and the sense of being connected to everyone. The reminder to not always go at something head on, but to be subtle and thoughtful is important for me to hear. I also love to meditate on the web and the interconnections of life.
My problem right now is that I don’t really know what I’m passionate about. There was a time I wanted to write and teach, but I’m not really sure that’s what I want as I’m not sure I want to take that responsibility for others. In some ways that feels like my mother’s bullshit about making my life about everyone else.
I think I just need to be still with the question and the answer will come to me.
Dearest ones,
Please direct me down the path that is right for me and help me find my joy.
Blessings, Raine
Cairn by Cairn 