First Impressions: Letting go of the need to fight
Book: Apathy, timidity, being defenseless or overpowered, relaxing your defenses, being overly defensive
Guidance: Relax, you have nothing to prove and no need to defend
Journaling
This card does bring up the feelings of inadequacy m y mother always brings out in me. She just reduces me to a child, but I am starting to realize that this is all her bullshit and not mine. The Facebook thing was her being greedy and selfish and thinking only of herself.
July 7, 2018
I’m finally getting to the point that I just don’t care about her bullshit. I don’t even know if the bitch is greedy and selfish or if she is just clueless. As I think about growing up with her, I am starting to realize that she is just clueless. She doesn’t even realize the impact that her words have on others and she just blurts out the first thing that is in her head. She has no filter and is literally incapable of thinking of anyone else’s feelings.
I don’t know if I will ever get to the point where she won’t matter and I will have totally mitigated her influence, but It is getting easier and easier to let go of her influence. Some days it is harder than others and I really have to work at reminding myself that her opinions don’t matter and that all the negativity is her insecurities and not mine. Other days it is not that hard at all.
Cairn by Cairn 