Explorer of Earth (Reversed)

Explorer of Earth Gaian Tarot

Impressions:  Ungrounded, disconnected, not paying attention, not protected

Journaling:

I feel unbalanced and ungrounded as if I was being buried instead of supported.  I feel disconnected and uprooted.  I long for roots and a strong support system, but I feel my efforts to get that strong support system constantly fail.  Is this about a lack of trust in the earth?  Do I feel as if I can’t trust the gods to have my back even though they have shown time and time again that I am taken care of and that they do have my best interests at heart?  There have been so many times when I thought things were horrible, but they turned out for the best.

December 25, 2017

Interesting card.  I still don’t feel as if I have a strong support system and I still feel as if there isn’t anyone I can trust other than a few people.  I did make an honest effort to go to church, but that didn’t turn out too well.  I was really really hurt when those bitches didn’t even say I hope your daughter feels better or that she’s okay.  I thought that was a pretty horrible way to treat someone and after that I decided I wanted nothing to do with those people.

I was also talking to Cam and I think part of the reason I don’t want anything to do with the UUs is that when you go to a UU church there is no energy or faith.  They people want to get together and worship, but it is not truly worship as they don’t believe in something bigger than themselves.  I do believe in something bigger than myself and I have faith.