One of the first dates my ex-husband and I went on was to drive to Springfield, IL to Jacksonville, IL. It’s a distance of about 30 miles and on the drive we talked about life, about what we wanted to be when we grew up, about people we knew, and about a host of other things. It was about 9:30 when we got there and since the purpose of the evening was really just to get to know each other and not to do anything special, we drove up and down the streets of Springfield for a while.
We got to the State Capital and decided to stop and walk around for a while. It was early spring and the fountains had just been turned on. We walked by the fountains and I decided that I really need to go wading so I kicked off my shoes and waded in the fountain. I tried to convince John to come in with me, but he looked mortified and as if he was wondering who this crazy chick he’d hooked up with was. I spent a few joyful minutes playing in the fountain and then we headed home.
I’ve been thinking about that night a lot lately because I miss that girl who was so brave and spontaneous that she didn’t give a rat’s ass about what anyone thought about her wading in the fountain. It didn’t matter that John didn’t approve or that she might get arrested, it was a harmless escapade that made her (me) happy for a few minutes.
That girl isn’t completely gone and she comes out every so often, like the night before we headed home from Germany four years ago and we went drinking in downtown Bremen. The girl in the fountain came out that night and splashed up a storm, but for the most part she keeps a low profile and doesn’t come out too often.
I’ve decided that in order to find myself and become happy, I need to make a conscious effort to let that girl out to play more often. One of the most perfect places to do that is at Millennium Park where they have a fountain that invites folks to run and splash. Although as you’d expect, it’s mostly kids who are enjoying the fountain, there’s always a few older (non-parental types) splashing and having fun. I headed down there and spent some time just enjoying watching the kids play and kicking off my shoes and getting wet.
It felt amazingly blissful to let my hair down, kick off my shoes, and get wet. Although the girl in the fountain might not be totally out of her shell, there are signs that she’s coming back.
Cairn by Cairn 