Bliss of the Heart

Yesterday would have been my parents 46th anniversary and for my mom it was a day filled with bittersweet memories. I talked to her this morning and she said she spent the day remembering life with my dad and trying not to be sad because she knows that my dad would have not wanted her to spend the rest of her life being sad.

In 1962 when my parents met, Kennedy was still alive, Elvis was the king, and life was a whole lot simpler. Their relationship was launched in the early days of the space race when landing a man on the moon seemed like more fantasy than fact. Neither James T. Kirk nor Neil Armstrong had boldly gone where no man had gone before. The Beatles first hit, “Please, Please, Please Me,” was released in the early days of their courtship.

The early days of my parents relationship weren’t all sunshine and roses though as the turbulence filled the world. The civil rights movement turned violent with bombings in Birmingham and on November 22, 1963 the days of Camelot come to an end when John F. Kennedy is killed in Dallas.
My parents were denied the beautiful wedding and gifts they’d hoped for due to a variety of reasons and they were married on February 20, 1965 with a few friends in attendance and pizza for a reception. A few years later, on November 6, 1966, a squalling baby girl was born and in 1970 a son was born. Along the way, my parents saw NASA fulfill Kennedy’s promise of putting a man on the moon by the end of the 1960’s.

The 70’s brought Watergate, Vietnam, and a move to the country and oh those funky clothes. Two growing kids meant my dad was working long hours to pay for vacations, school, and all the other things his young family needed. At the time, I thought my dad had the hard end of the bargain having to work all those hours, but I’m realizing that it couldn’t have been easy for my mom to have to fulfill all the household duties involved in making sure we were clothed, fed, and everything else. My dad had two heart attacks during the 1970s that had him spending days at a hospital downtown and my mom praying she wouldn’t be left a young widow.

Kids graduating, college bills, and the first grandchild defined the 1980s for my parents. My parents 25th anniversary was in 1990 and right before we headed for Okinawa, Japan. We invited all their friends and relatives and arranged for them to have the beautiful wedding cake they’d been denied at their wedding. My dad caught wind of our plans and threatened not to attend, but in the end he was the life of the party as he was thrilled by all the guests who had turned out to honor him and my mom.

Grandchildren, a move to Mt. Carroll, and retirement meant my parents had more to live for than ever in the 1990s. My dad had loved being a father, but being a grandfather was extra special because he had money and time to spend with Sean and Caitlin he doted on them. He and my mom always made sure the kids were spoiled rotten and he often chuckled that he the best part was spoiling them rotten and then bringing them home for us to deal with.
Unlike some couples who grow farther apart as they grow older, my parents’ love seemed to grow as they got older and truly had more time to spend together. Simple things shared became great memories as they invested time in friends, family, and each other. Although my father may longer be with us, looking at the pictures of my parents together still feels me with the bliss of knowing that love surpasses everything and can live on in our hearts forever.

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Raine Shakti

Raine Shakti believes in living her life cairn by cairn and in helping others learn to do the same. Her day job is in the training and communications field and her best professional experiences are when she is able to empower people. She has spent the last few years reclaiming her life and her inner warrior. Part of this journey was becoming an ordained priestess with the Fellowship of Isis. Her Matron deities are Nephthys who has helped her become a true virgin woman, the Morrigan who has taught her what it means to be sovereign, and Yemaya who has taught her the strength in having a loving heart.

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