I asked the gods to help me find my bliss, but when it came to me and wasn’t neatly packaged exactly the way I was expecting, I got cranky and complained constantly about exactly how it came into my life instead of accepting the bliss I’d been gifted with.
My life was out of balance and there wasn’t a whole lot of bliss for a few years as I was juggling travel, two kids, too much work, and not enough time to do the stuff I really want to do. I knew I needed bliss and balance, but wasn’t making much of an effort to get it.
Our company embarked on a major initiative in March and there was a piece of the program I really wanted to manage, but instead of letting me take it and run with it, my management team decided to bring in a decidedly less qualified consultant (the opinion of multiple people and not just me) due to the old boy’s network. I then ended up working for this decidedly less qualified consultant. Suffice to say this did not sit well with me and things came to a head in July and I ended up off the project and managing a less complicated project.
Unfortunately, I’ve spent way too much time since July complaining to a few key folks who I know are sympathetic about the situation, how unfair it is, how I’m better qualified, blah, blah blah. Some days, I even think I sound like a broken record and I really believe in what I’m saying. The bottom line is that my boss was wrong, I was wrong, and it is what it is. There are a lot of different ways it could have worked out differently, but I’ve been struggling to accept that it is what it is. I’ve been spending so much time focused on the negative, that I haven’t even taken the time to think about the good things the situation has brought into my life and there have been a lot:
I had an amazing four day vacation with my daughter in the south. If this hadn’t happened, I would have been half working and half vacationing and she wouldn’t have gotten the attention she deserved. As it turns out, we spent time driving through the Blue Ridge Mountains and enjoying time with each other.- I’ve gotten to spend a lot more time at home hanging out with my family because I’m not traveling so much. That means that I can get into routines, I can cook dinner at home most nights, I have time to be with the people I love.
- I’m writing again and spending a lot of time working on polishing two books that have been sitting in my virtual drawer for a while languishing because I haven’t had time to work on them. I’m also working on a script about finding bliss (gee I wonder where I got the inspiration for that). It is amazing how blissful finding time to work on my passion really makes me.
- I’ve got time to read brain candy and just spend time chilling out on the sofa with a cold drink and a good book.
I’ve been making the time to exercise most days. I take time to go for a walk with the dog or by myself. I’ve been feeling a lot better since I’ve been making exercise a priority.- My house is getting cleaner. Granted I still have my moments, but I’ve been trying to get organized, get rid of clutter, and get into cleaning routines so the housework doesn’t get so overwhelming.
- I’ve been getting craftier. I got some pure Shea butter at the Maxwell Street Flea Market a few weeks ago and made some body butter with Triple Goddess Oil. It smelled heavenly and felt so good. It also felt good to know I’d mixed it myself. I also made a mosaic tray and one of these days I’m going to start crocheting again.
- I’m learning about the infrastructure side of the house. I’ve always been an “apps girl” who really didn’t care about all those mysterious boxes that made the programs I love run. But now, I’m learning about servers, virtualization, and the stuff under the hood of IT.
- I’m spending more time with my son. Last year, I would just go and get him and bring him home. This year, I’m taking time to spend time with him downtown in the environment he’s chosen as his own. I’m also taking time to really listen to him and understand why he loves it so much.
- I’m learning how to play the corporate game. One of my friends who has spent hours listening to me whine and complain, pointed out to me multiple times that I needed to look for the positive and I needed to learn from the situation. Unfortnuately, I was so caught up in wanting to get my own way that I didn’t take the time to really listen and to be objective about the situation and what positives could come out of it. Although, I have to say I don’t like the corporate game and probably never will, but knowing the roles helps.
The world works in mysterious ways sometimes and when I stood in the rain in China and asked the heavens to help me find my bliss, I could have never known the twists and turns life would take to get me to a place where I have more bliss in my life. Chances are I will never agree that the decisions made that landed me where I am were right, I did end up in the right place.
Cairn by Cairn 