I turned down a great opportunity today in the interest of balance. I was up for an integration manager position at a huge and well known company. It would have been a decent bump in pay, the work would have been interesting, and I would have been challenged. It also would have meant traveling and living out of a suitcase three to four days a week for the next six months and a twice daily commute of 45 minutes to an hour.
Two years ago, I would have jumped at the chance. I would have told myself that the travel was only temporary and that I could suck it up and do it for six months. I would have put a positive spin on the 45 minute commute by telling myself that I could listen to books on tape and make it educational. I would have told myself that if I left work at 4:30, I’d make it home by 5:30 and still have all evening. However, I’ve been around the block enough to know that those are all lies. The travel would have ended up being longer than six months because after project A, project B would have come along and I’d have kept traveling. I rarely leave work on time so I would have ended up getting home at 6 or later ever night.
This is my life and it is the only one I get so six MORE months spent living out of a suitcase, is six more months I don’t get to be home and enjoy my family. Six months more months I’m eating out most nights. Six months more that I’m so tired and stressed out when I do get home that all I want to do is sleep. Six more months of not having a routine at home. Six more months of missing out on getting into an exercise routine. Six more wasted months of my life.It’s only been in the last three months that I’ve started to feel like I have balance in my life and that work isn’t taking over every aspect of my life. I’ve started leaving work on time, not working at home, and spending time doing things that are important to me. I’ve been taking my daughter out to sushi almost once a week, I’ve been going downtown to have dinner with my son several times a month. I’m still working on spending more time with hubby, but I’ll get there.
I’ve been writing again, both on my blog and working on a book. I’ve started walking several times a week and I cook dinner most nights instead of eating out or grabbing fast food because I’m too tired to cook. I’ve even started enjoying cleaning house. In short, I’m appreciating the sacred and the beautiful in the every day and I’m not ready to throw my life out of balance again for a job.
My job isn’t perfect, but it’s five minutes from my house and the proximity lets me have a real life instead of a life that’s all wrapped up in work and getting ahead. My goal is to be able to work for myself one day and right now I have time to work on that dream as I have time to spend writing and putting proposals together. Maybe this means I’m finally growing up and realizing that all the glitz, the glamour, and the money isn’t worth it if deep down you’re not living a life of balance and bliss.
Cairn by Cairn 