Some say that money doesn’t buy happiness, but having enough money to pay my bills is one of the most blissful feelings in the world. There is a deep sense of satisfaction in knowing that as a result of our efforts, we can pay for the basic necessities of life and afford a few extras. I get extra satisfaction out of being able to pay my bills on time every month because a few years ago we weren’t always able to keep the lights turned on and there were a few times when we had to borrow money from our parents for necessities.
Sometimes it’s all too easy to forget those lean years as I sit in my beautiful living room looking out at the park with my almost new car parked in the driveway. However, I know those luxuries come at a price of free time. To pay for life in Arlington Heights, my husband and I both have to work full time jobs which leave us exhausted and cranky. All too often, food comes from the closest fast food joint and not from the pantry.
The lean years weren’t all bad as I was freelancing and wasn’t working full time so I had plenty of time to volunteer at the kids’ school and spend time with them before and after school. Despite how much I hated not having money for all the extras I wanted to give them, I wouldn’t trade those years for anything in the world. I got to be there to watch my kids in school, be there when they came home from school, and I had the time to take them to the park whenever we wanted.
We always managed to make the most of the money we had and in a lot of ways life was better without a lot of cash. We spent more time together in the evenings instead of all going our own way and there was a sense that we were in it together. Meals were better too as we didn’t have money for fast food, but had to cook at home. We also managed to take our kids to Disney World during those lean years with a trip cobbled together with freebies from the Web and a little bit of savings. 
However, I am pragmatic enough to realize that despite the highlights of our lean years, there was plenty of strife as we struggled to make our pennies stretch to cover our bills. There was always a sense of failure as we realized there was too much month left at the end of each paycheck. There is no glory in having your lights shut off.
As I sit and reflect on life then and now, I realize that I need to find a way to balance the bliss of more time with my family with the bliss of having my bills paid. It isn’t easy, but I’m finding my way back to bliss.
Cairn by Cairn 