Maintaining the status quo has never appealed to me and for the most part I’ve used whatever tools I had at my disposal to make my feelings known. When I was in kindergarten, I was the kid that all the other kids hated because I always knew the answer–or at least thought I did–and was never shy about raising my hand and expressing my opinion. My teacher finally asked me to not speak up so much and to give other kids a chance. I responded by shutting down and never raising my hand and I went home and told my parents that my teacher had told me not to raise my hand in class. Needless to say, a parent teacher conference ensued and pretty soon I was back to raising my hand whenever I thought I had something to say.
In fourth grade, my teacher wanted to borrow bales of hay from my grandfather for our school show. However, I wasn’t happy with the role I was given in the show. I informed Mrs. Thompson that I’d be happy to ask my grandfather if we could borrow the hay as long as I got the part in the play that I wanted. Amazingly enough, I got what I wanted and Mrs. Thompson got her hay bales.
I lost my voice to a certain extent in high school and college as I was bullied by other kids and I’m still not sure why. Sometimes I think it was because I wasn’t afraid to be different and I wasn’t afraid to speak my mind. That’s a very threatening thing for some people because they don’t understand it.
Graduating from college was liberating as I’d landed a job as an auditor, which fit my personality of questioning authority to a T as I was getting paid to snoop around, ask questions, and question authority. However, I soon learned that I did have boundaries and that somethings were “too political” to investigate. Among these were were the thousands illegally spent to build a “crud room” (think pool without the q sticks) and Operational Readiness plans for Kadena Air Base. Being muzzled wasn’t my thing, but I backed off because there were so many other areas where I did have free rein to question authority.
Questioning authority did not always have blissful results and one memorable time I went to far. I publicly questioned the Air Force about religious programming on the Armed Forces Network and quickly found myself in hot water with the base commander. He abused his power to have armed security guards show up at my house and threaten me and my family. When I refused to be cowed and left the house, I was tackled and thrown into the back of a police car while they went after my husband and two children. However, being military police they were not the brightest of the bunch and they put me in an unlocked car. I escaped from custody and then physically assaulted the cops. I also told them to go ahead and shoot me so it would be on the front page of the Stars and Stripes.
They didn’t shoot me, but they did make arrangements to get me off their precious base as soon as physically possible and I was on a plane back to the States within two weeks. I’ve since learned that what happened to me was not an isolated case and that the military overseas often abused their power when it came to people questioning religious persecution. My husband and I both suffered post traumatic stress syndrome and for the first two years after we got home, I got physically sick to my stomach every time I saw someone in uniform. I also suffered flashbacks, never felt safe, and was constantly on edge.
You would have thought I would have learned my lesson about challenging the status quo, but it didn’t because I realized that all a civilian employer could do was fire me: there was no way they could surround my house with guns. I’ve also realized that there are a lot more subtle ways to challenge the status quo than the ones I’ve used in the past.
Challanging the status quo without fire and brimstone is a lot more challanging than being loud and proud in my outspokeness, but it’s no less satisfying.
I’m currently working at a large manufacturing company and I managed one of the few successful projects at our company last year. However, despite this success, my boss, placed me in a very minor role reporting to a consultant on our latest project. The role has no growth potential and has me doing things I did five years ago. Not exactly what I expected. I expressed my displeasure and when she refused to listen, I started looking for another job both internally and externally. I’m very close to being given another position in the company and it’s because I believe enough in myself to challenge the status quo and refuse to accept subpar assignments.
The situation has also made me realize that there are people I really like and respect who are all too willing to accept the status quo and not stick up for themselves. They believe that just because someone is the boss, they should be the absolute authority. I truly don’t believe that and I don’t believe that good bosses want their employees to be “yes men.” Good bosses want people who can drive change and are leaders and good leaders question authority.
Much to my husband’s chagrin and sometimes mine, I’ve instilled in our children the belief that respect has to be earned and that challenging tyranny is important at all levels. That belief has led to some interesting battles with my children’s school, but in the end we prevailed.
Questioning authority doesn’t always feel so blissful because sometimes you end up in unpleasant situations, but at the end of the day I’m the one that has to face myself in the mirror and I won’t be able to look myself in the face if I don’t stand up for myself and for what I believe is right and at the end that’s a deeply satisfying kind of bliss.
Cairn by Cairn 